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writingwithcolor · 5 years ago

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Including diversity where there may be little

Including diversity where there may be little: Black Radium Girls as example

post-scriptvm asked: [ask clipped for length]

I have an interest in the ‘Radium Girls’, groups of women who worked at studios in America from the late 1910s onwards painting radium onto clock faces, and later took their companies to court for the horrible impacts the radium had on their body.

I want to make a musical, just for fun. I’ve decided to use a fictionalized version of events, with composite characters based on multiple different women, rather than one of the real-life groups and the actual women from them. It will be mostly set in New Jersey, in the roaring 20s.

Neither of the two real-life groups I know of had any Black women in them, and I can’t see any Black women in any of the big group photos of the dial factories’ employees. But I know there’s a lot of Black history and culture in that time and place bc of the great migration and stuff, so I feel like if I’m not going to use the real life ladies, I should probably take the opportunity to also make some of them Black, bc making a whole cast of white ladies in the name of potentially wrong ‘historical accuracy’ seems like a bad thing.

My question is, should I? [ask clipped for length]

I wouldn’t be surprised if there were African American radium girls. Speculating People of Color/Women of Color’s involvement is far more realistic than portraying everyone as white. Go for it!

Perhaps look into what other races were predominantly in the New Jersey area for inspiration, too.

Hidden History

This section features just a few examples of PoC in lesser known historical settings.

The histories of People of Color are highly and actively erased. Women of Color especially get their stories left to footnotes in the textbooks. You hear about certain amazing women again and again, but there’s so many others that don’t get their time of day.

Hidden Figures (book and movie) is a prime example of that erasure and lesser known history. To summarize: It’s “the powerful story of four African-American female mathematicians at NASA who helped achieve some of the greatest moments in our space program.”

Here’s another example:

Photo of female firefights on Pearl Harbor, 1941. Identities unknown

It would be nice to know more about these women, and i’ve seen inquiries from people requesting info from anyone who may know. This struggle to find details is a prime example of that erasure in itself.

Enemies in Love: A German POW, a Black Nurse, and an Unlikely Romance by Alexis Clark

The book pictured above is the true story of a Black nurse and German Prisoner of War who fall in love during World War II. They face many hardships (disowning from his family, racism, and shunning from towns) but stay together for their whole lives, marry, and have children (One of their sons highly informed the writing of the book!)

This book discusses the discrimination the Black soldiers and nurses faced. They struggled to even be allowed to serve their country, and were treated worse than POWs.

Video: The Unlikely Romance of a Black Nurse & German P.O.W. in WW II

Research

Research “[RACE] + Firsts” and find many more examples of little unknown bits of history where they’ve been involved.

First doesn’t mean it came without limitations, discrimination or hardships. But they happened, and many sooner than you’d think.

Explore beyond what you know about whitewashed history and learn the true stories of People of Color.

Making it “realistic”

People will question how “realistic” it is to feature a Black women in this position for the time period, unfortunately. It doesn’t hurt to provide an explanation until we get to a place where diversity isn’t interrogated when it shows up.

Giving her backstory.

You can briefly explain the journey to the job, such as shortages due to a war. Take a look at those real world firsts for inspiration.

Especially take a look at the specific region of the story. What firsts were there? Any government power influences? How did PoC break barriers to make the strides they did?

Use the web, but also go beyond. Seek books, historians, artwork. Search those “footnotes” for that one sentence mention. (That’s actually how the writer of Enemies in Love found their story. Just a quick sentence and a search for the story began. It helped that she was a journalist!)

Relationships with Peers:

“I will cut off this right arm of mine before I will ever work or demand the ballot for the Negro and not the woman.” - Susan B. Anthony

White women weren’t, historically, welcoming to Black women. For example, white sufferists insisted Black women march in the back of the protests for, allegedly, both their rights. You’ll need to decide how your Black woman is treated in this situation.

You might face the following from peers, superiors, or others:

Hesitation to work or interact with her

Curiosity and intrigue (The “Other”

Unsure of how to approach or be friends with her

Microaggressions

Blatant racism

Your musical doesn’t seem like it is meant to focus too heavily on the hardships. It begs a mention, but just how much is up to you.

Call the Midwife, period racism example

Call the Midwife (BBC) is set in East End London, Late 1950s, early 1960s. The show features a Black midwife named Lucille Anderson. There’s a shortage on nurses so Caribbean nurses were being called in to support the growing population.

Call the Midwife is from a midwife, Jennifer Worth’s, memoir, so it’s based on history.

Check out this short clip: Nurse Lucille Anderson - Call the Midwife

Lucille on Call the Midwife (Take notes!)

The show handles racism and microaggressions very well. It’s not overdone.

Lucille is accepted by her peers and is especially close to one of the girls.

There’s an episode where she actively faces blame and discrimination during a case. It’s a major story line of the episode.

She does face occasional micro-aggressions where she is othered, but it is not every single time she is on screen and not every episode.

Her peers talk to her about her experiences and in the case where she had an aggressive family member to deal with, they tried to protect her by reassigning her from the family. Lucille asks to handle it her way and they respect her decision.

Lucille can mostly perform her job and have peace, and is treated kindly by patients.

She has a personality, a romantic life, family & friendships.

It’s about 90% allowing her to exist, 10% navigating racism/microaggressions. That’s a comfortable, realist balance for such a story and setting.

If you want to check out how they handled these issues for yourself, the show is on Netflix as of this post (2020). She’s introduced in Season 7. (I highly recommend watching this show from the beginning. I cry like every episode, and the diversity of several ethnic backgrounds picks up a lot mid season!)

I’ll kick you three scenarios for your Black radium girl:

Peer Acceptance, Initial Hesitation

awkward friendliness & initial hesitation, perhaps more fear of the unknown vs. hostility

Upon having interactions and talking to her, they become comfortable and accept her. It could take just one simple conversation. Perhaps they’re more used to listening to Black music or have Black staff who work for them, but haven’t had an equal one-on-one experience with WoC without a power dynamic or service involved. Now, with a Black fellow radium girl thrown in a similar situation as them, they could develop kinship.

This might not describe every one of the woman at all. Others might be just fine with her with no awkwardness.

Types of racism experienced:

some micro-aggressions (likely ignorance from peers)

no major racism experienced

Most Peer Acceptance, Racism From Some Peers

Most peers have no problem with her, even if they have their initial awkwardness. 1-2 more aggressive racists who don’t want her there.

Sometimes everyone else gets along, but there’s that 1 bully and their minion, and they feed off each other. If the BS isn’t tolerated by the other girls, it could shut them up to make peace or at least behave themselves. It’s likely someone like this would remain hatefully stubborn, but would grimace from the corner if outnumbered.

In the case you create a situation where someone is hostile to the Black girl but learns better: real apologies and efforts should be made if this occurs. It also doesn’t excuse their past behavior. Read our posts on redemption arcs for more info. We’re not fans, personally.

In an intense racial situation, it would be nice if the girls (with sense) protected and defended her instead of standing idly by. They’re strong enough to rise up against the agencies who poisoned them, so they can fight for their fellow radium sisters if one’s being targeted.

Types of racism experienced:

several micro-aggressions

maybe 1 major incident

Peer Acceptance, Racism from Other People

Radium girl acceptance within, but experiences racism from others she interacts with on/off the job.

The Call the Midwife example fits this one. Lucille’s peers are comfortable with her. It’s some of the ladies she care for and/or their families that may have negative things to say or show hesitance.

I’ll repeat what I said above: it’d be nice if the girls protected and defended her and didn’t stand by idly. Solidarity is important for establishing kinship and trust when it comes to white - woc friendships.

Types of racism experienced:

could vary from some to several micro-aggressions

maybe 1 major incident

Balancing race issues in the musical

Give the intersections of your Black girl’s situation proper attention. You can achieve this without overdoing it or making her whole arc about facing racism.

Perhaps the Black radium girl(s) has a song to express major woes, like segregation and poor treatment, or experiencing dismay over even less of a fighting chance in this fight for their rights.

If anyone does know anything but radium girls of color, please share!

–Mod Colette

#intersectionality #intersectional feminism #women #black #black women #woc #women of color #diversity #poc in history #radium girls #musicials #asks #submission

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handonshipper · 3 years ago

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If I Knew Then What I Know Now: Chapter Four

After a while, Landon's eyes slowly opened, and he sat up, taking in his surroundings. He was on a bed. An actual clean, larger bed. He hadn't been in one of those for... a while. He felt drained of energy and a bit nauseous. Landon forced down the nausea and focused on everything. His backpack was leaning up against the nightstand on the ground near the bed. He clenched the sheets and looked down at his shirt. He had a different shirt on than before, one that wasn't bloody and torn.

"You're awake" A familiar voice spoke out from near the doorway. He didn't need to turn his head to know who was standing there, watching him.

"Hope" he greeted. "Yeah, I am. How long have I been out?"

"A little less than a day" Hope walked over and took a seat on the bed with Landon. "I shouldn't be here long. It's not safe for you to be around me, but I wanted to see you again. Before..." she fell quiet. She cleared her throat. "You have a bit of a fever that spiked. Here. It's an herbal mixture. It should help finish up cooling you down more than what I've already done" She offered him a small glass of a yellowish liquid.

Landon took the glass and drank the liquid inside. "Thank you" he said.

"You're welcome" the tribrid took the glass back from him. She tucked her hair behind her ear and focused on him. "Now what did you mean when you said 'not you'? That's different than refusing to drink blood at all"

Landon didn't answer her and instead pushed himself up. How could he possibly explain everything to her? It was crazy for him to believe, and he lived it. Hope stood up and moved closer to him, placing a hand on his back to steady him. Her eyes showed concern as she watched him carefully.

"Take it easy. Landon. You seem exhausted"

"I'll be fine. I'm all healed, remember? I can handle a fever and nausea and lightheadedness. It's mild. It could be worse"

Landon gave her a small smile as he spoke, grateful it wasn't affecting him worse. Being Malivore's son certainly came with problems, more than having Malivore constantly send monsters after him over and over again so that he could be possessed by his father. No, that wasn't all. He also had to react badly to hybrid and tribrid and probably regular vampire blood.

"Just get some rest" the tribrid said, looking at him. "My family doesn't mind." She gently nudged him back towards the bed. He sighed softly and sat down on the bed before laying on it and staring at the ceiling. "Good. Look, I'm sorry about... what I did to you. It was an accident. I was lashing out at my Uncle Elijah, and when you came in, I wasn't really paying attention to who you were. I just got caught up in anger. It's not an excuse though"

"It's fine, Hope. I forgive you. So is attacking relatives with super powers something you usually do?" he asked, looking up at her.

"No. No it's not. And what I did was... magic. Magic's real and so are vampires and werewolves but you don't need to worry about that. Just get rested and you can get back to your normal life"

She turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Landon sighed a little and stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything. He felt drained of energy, but he knew he could do what he needed to do to leave. He'd give himself a little longer here before leaving. However, his mind then drifted to what he knew about Hope during this time period. If she was attacking her uncle violently like that, she had to have consumed the Hollow's magic by now. Which meant she was slowly dying, growing weaker with each passing moment.

He couldn't leave her like this, no matter how screwed up he was. He had to help her. And then he could worry about how he was handling things. How he wasn't the same Landon he had been when she gave him the page that listed how she viewed him. Though before he could do any of that, he needed to rest and recover from the vampire blood that had passed through his system. He sighed and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off to sleep a bit, hoping he would feel back to normal once he woke up again.

Eventually, Landon woke up again and sat up, still feeling a little off but better than before. Sunlight was streaming through his window. He put on his jacket that he saw folded on the dresser. He grabbed his bag and opened it before pulling out one of blades and concealing it in his jacket. He zipped up his bag and headed downstairs with it. He suddenly heard muffled voices from a side room and looked towards it before looking away.

"Landon, is it?" questioned the mostly unfamiliar voice of Hope's father.

Landon turned his head to look at him. "Yes, that's me"

"Have you ever been to New Orleans before?" Klaus questioned, walking closer to him.

"Once briefly about a year and a half ago"

"Have you tried beignets before, Landon?"

"No, sir, I haven't" Landon replied Klaus chuckled a little at the word sir being used. He certainly wasn't used to people who weren't full of fear and trying to please him. And even then, it had been a while. "Well, then, you should probably try them while you are here. Come on" he said and led Landon to the dining room. "Make yourself comfortable"

Landon looked at Klaus and took a seat at the long table, looking around a little curiously. He set his backpack down on the ground near him. Klaus came back with two plates of beignets and set one down in front of Landon before taking a seat himself. Landon looked at the original hybrid curiously. He had read first hand in Dr. Saltzman's books all Klaus had done, but when he looked at him all he really saw was Hope's father. The man who would/had died for her. But Landon did not want that to happen again. He did not want Hope to lose her family members again. Though he wished that he could have gone back in time soon enough to save her mother as well. Unfortunately, his luck never seemed to go that well.

"You seem unsurprised about the supernatural existing" Klaus said "Well, you saving my life does help with my perspective" Landon said, looking at him. "And I trust Hope. Even though she magically hurt me" He would never stop trusting her. Landon looked at the sugary breakfast in front of him. He picked up a beignet and took a bite, sugar falling a little on his shirt in the process. "I didn't realize you knew my daughter so well that you trust her. Or perhaps you simply trust easily" "I don't. Trust easily. However, I do trust her" Landon said, looking at Klaus, his expression serious. "Did Hope tell you about her family when she went to check up on you?" "No, she didn't" "Well, I am the Original hybrid, part vampire and part werewolf. The rest of my siblings are Original vampires, except Freya who is a witch. We are 1000 years old and are very protective of our family. Killing people that pose a threat to us. Do you have any family, Landon?" "My mother and brother died. Other than that, I have no one I consider family" Landon said, taking another bite of a beignet.

Malivore certainly did not count. He wanted to use Landon as a vessel and consume all supernatural creatures, including his friends. And Clarke.... well... Clarke was the whole reason Malivore rose. He tossed the final artifact in and was the reason the vase was put in Malivore as well. He's the reason Hope had to sacrifice herself. And he was the reason Josie went dark, which resulted in several other problems.

"I have lost a mother and brother as well" Klaus said, "though I killed my mother. Twice. As well as my fathers. Both biological and not" Klaus said calmly, watching him as he ate as well, despite not needing to. "You seem very cautious, even before you knew what I was" "I've been through a lot recently" "Please, enlighten me" "It's something I don't want to talk about. Not because I don't trust you or Hope or anything but simply because I don't feel comfortable discussing it at all" "I noticed your scars and your burn marks" Klaus said, and Landon's hand subconsciously drifted to his arm, powder getting on his jacket. "What happened?" "My foster dad used to burn me with cigarettes" Something shifted in Klaus' expression as he looked at Landon, the same way it had when he saw Marcel being abused so many years ago. It was something he could relate to very much. He was silent for a moment, his gaze lowering, and he took a bite of his beignet to fill the silence.

Landon was grateful for the silence, still not used to being around people. He continued eating, thinking about everything going on. He knew a lot happened in this time frame, and he wanted to be able to help. Finally, he spoke up again "Is something... wrong with Hope? She seems to be... hurting, I don't know" "She's going through a lot right now after taking in some dark magic. But that is not your concern. Now finish eating" Landon continued eating and looked at him a bit. His head turned as he heard someone quietly approaching before they were in sight. It was Hope "Hey" Hope greeted, looking at the two. She didn't show it visibly but Landon could tell by the look in her eye that she was in pain. "I went to check on you, but you were already up" "Yeah. I'm feeling better now. Mostly anyways. Better enough. Thank you for the.. herbal mixture that you gave me" Landon said, looking at her "You're welcome" Hope said. Landon finished up his beignets, and Hope walked over to Landon. "It was really nice seeing you again." She looked at him and turned away as Klaus approached.

Klaus stepped in front of Landon, who slowly stood up, his bag in hand. "You do not remember anything unusual about Hope or the rest of the family. You saw nothing supernatural. You ran into Hope near our family home. It was getting late so we invited you in to stay the night. When you woke up, you had breakfast with me and are now leaving this city and are not going to think twice about what you could have had for Hope. You are going to find somewhere to live away from that foster dad you mentioned and have a happy human life, safe and away from New Orleans." "Are you out of your minds? How could I forget any of this?" Landon questioned. "Did you do it wrong?" Hope questioned. "I'm a thousand years old. I am fairly certain I know how to compel people" Klaus replied "Well, it didn't work." "Obviously it didn't work. He has been here so he couldn't have had vervain. If he can't be compelled, it can only mean one thing. That he is a supernatural being. Unless, of course, he had vervain with him that he took before coming downstairs." Klaus moved at vampire speed to grab the bag from Landon, who instinctively moved defensively but was too slow. Klaus tossed Hope the bag, and she opened it.

"Weapons?" Hope questioned in confusion, her tone wary as she slowly looked back up at Landon, a wooden weapon in her hand. "You're a hunter?" Landon's lips parted open for a moment before he closed them. "No. Not in the way you are thinking. I swear. Look, we can talk about this. I wanted to when I first saw you, but I had no idea how to explain it"

Klaus moved at vampire speed, pinning Landon to the wall. Landon looked at Klaus, unafraid. "Is that so? Who are you?" he questioned, his grip tightening a bit. "Hope, keep looking" "My name is Landon Kirby. I wasn't lying. I haven't lied to either of you. Except for why I came here. And that was only kind of a lie"

Hope shuffled through his bag. "I don't see any vervain. He couldn't be on it unless he hid it somewhere" "I can't be compelled" "Well then I guess you have a lot of explaining to do" Hope said and waved a hand. "Ad somnum" Landon Kirby fell to the ground, unconscious.

#legacies #cw legacies #legacies cw #hope mikaelson #landon kirby #klaus mikaelson #handon #hope x landon #landon x hope #legacies fanfic #legacies fanfiction #if i knew then #if i knew then what i know now #If i knew then Chapter four #if i knew then what i know now chapter four

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wordsfromthesol · 5 years ago

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An Eye for an Eye

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Slade is looking for revenge, and unfortunately his eyes are set on you. Warnings: All those usual things Word Count: 1.4k A/N: Requested by @riseofnightwing

It had been several years since the Titans had formed. The four…then five of you worked together like a well-oiled machine. Though you hadn’t been without your challenges. It got a little complicated when you and Dick started dating. And then again when Dick had a slight mental breakdown, but eventually his mind cleared, and he became Nightwing.

You were thankful when Wonder Girl joined the team. It was nice to finally have another girl to help you navigate the masculinity. The two of you quickly became best friends…which is why when you learned you were pregnant; she was the first one you told. Even if it had been a few months already.

“I mean Donna, what am I supposed to do? How can I bring a child into this life?”

“Well, what did Dick say?”

Your eyes fell to the floor, “I haven’t exactly told him yet…”

“Y/N Y/M/N.”

“I just can’t find the words! It took me two months to gain the courage to tell you…I’m just not good with words.”

“Y/N, this isn’t something you can avoid. You need to tell him.”

You love Donna, and you know she was right…but you had been hoping for some better advice. Instead of going to find Dick, you headed to the training room instead. Unfortunately, you had only been in there an hour before Dick found you.

“Y/N, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. We need to talk about that last mission.”

“Well, you found me.” You said with a little more bite than necessary. Ever since you found out you had been pushing Dick further and further away. You just couldn’t handle looking into his unsuspecting eyes, yet every time you were close to telling him something always interrupted.

“And you’re in a great mood, I see.”

“Just trying to figure some things out.”

“Hmm…something involving me?”

“Well –”, and there you were cut off again Garth and Wally entered the room. You let out a sigh as your eyes trailed towards them. Dick quickly pulled you out of the room.

“Y/N, I don’t know what’s up with you, but you need to figure it out. I what were you thinking on that last mission?! You walked right into an obvious ambush. You’re just lucky Donna followed you.”

“Well I’m so sorry we can’t all be perfect little Dick Graysons!”

Dick rolled his eyes, “That is so not the point, and you know it. You could’ve gotten yourself and Donna killed. Then you come back here and completely avoid everyone for days?”

“There’s shit going on you don’t understand.”

“Maybe if you actually tried talking to me…you know your boyfriend for the past FOUR years…I would understand.”

Before you could try to explain you felt a familiar sickness creeping up in your esophagus. You ran out of the room, ensuring that the argument would soon become a much bigger one.

After the lovely pregnancy induced sickness subsided, you decided to go for a walk along the river. What you didn’t know a familiar enemy was stalking you, for days now. He was waiting for the right time to move…and you just gave him the perfect one.

It had been nearly half a day since you had spoken with Donna and she was beginning to worry…so she went off in search for Dick.

“Have you seen Y/N lately?”

“Nope.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t she come talk to you?”

“I guess you can call it that…”

“Well, how are you feeling about it?”

“Feeling? I’m fucking pissed off Donna. She’s going to get herself killed if she keeps acting like this.”

“Wait…” Donna paused, realizing Dick was still in the dark. “When was the last time you saw her?”

“I don’t know, about four hours ago I guess.”

“And she didn’t say where she was going?”

“Nope. In true Y/N fashion she ran off to avoid confrontation.”

“Wally!” Donna yelled for her teammate, who appeared before her as the last syllable escaped from her lips. “I need you to check the city for Y/N.”

“Why? Did something happen?” The speedster exchanged worried glances with Dick and Donna.

“I just have a bad feeling…and no one’s seen her in hours.”

Wally nodded in acknowledgement before taking off. Donna paced back and forth for several minutes, waiting on Wally’s return. Unfortunately, when he did, the news was not good.

“I couldn’t find her anywhere. Are you sure she didn’t leave the city?”

Donna sighed and looked up at Dick, “There’s something you should know.”

You woke up in a dark room, strapped to a table. The metal bands stretched across your collarbone, wrists, and ankles. Blinking rapidly, you waited for your eyes to adjust…though once you recognized the infamous orange and black armor you wished they hadn’t.

“Slade…what did I do to deserve this honor?”

“Recent developments have made you part of my revenge.”

“And those would be?”

“Oh don’t be coy…you’ve got a little birdie growing.”

Your eyes widened in astonishment, “Wh…how?”

Your captor just laughed as he strode out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

“WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL ME?!”

“Somehow I think you already know that answer to that question. And you also know that is not the most important thing right now.”

“Where could she be?”

“We’ll find her. Everyone is looking. Wally, Barry, Kara, and Clark are searching around the world. Bruce and Tim are digging online. Even Jason is hassling his underground contacts. We’ll find her.”

“You don’t think…”

“Dick, she wouldn’t leave. But do you really think that’s worse than her being captured?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.”

Wally bursts through the door, “Dick. We found her. It’s Slade.”

Dick eyes widened with worry, “Where?”

“SLADE! It’s been hours, what do you what with me?!” The figure sauntered in the room.

“So impatient. Now is the waiting game. I intend to take from yours what he took from mine.”

“Which is exactly?”

“A child for a child, a family for a family.”

“Dick didn’t take your child or family from you. You did that on your own. Your own selfishness and stupidity took them.” Within seconds you felt a painful sting against your cheek.

“Insolent child! You know nothing!”

“Is your memory so fragile? I was there. I know everything!” Pain shot through your leg this time. Glancing down, you saw a huge gash across your thigh, and Slade was nowhere in sight.

You had begun to loose track of time, but soon you heard voices…voices that were not Slade. You decided to take the risk.

“I’m here!” You bellowed out in hopes that the voices where friends. Wally appeared before you in seconds.

“Y/N!”

“Wally, quick…get these things off of me. Slade’s here, it’s a trap.”

“We know. The others are on it.”

“He wants Dick.”

“Would’ve never guessed that one.” Wally rolled his eyes as he helped you up from the table. “My job is to get you safely out. You’re injured…oh and pregnant. Thanks for letting us all know.”

“Wally I –” you began but you quickly clasped his hand over your mouth. He picked you up and began to run, but the two of you were promptly thrown to the ground.

“You didn’t think I would just let you go?” Slade questioned. You slowly pushed yourself up from the ground.

“Oh, still navigating the trap I set, I assume. They’ll be alive, after all he needs to see this.”

“Y/N, run.” Wally sped towards Deathstroke as you attempted to make your way towards the exit. As you came upon the door, you stumbled into Dick.

“Get her out!” Donna cried as she launched herself forward to help Wally, Garth following closely behind.

You weren’t sure how you made it out, or how the others did. The next time you opened your eyes you were back in your room at Titans Tower, Dick drifting into sleep at your side.

“Dick…” You watched as his eyes fluttered open next to you and felt a slight pressure in your hand.

“It’s okay Y/N, I know.”

“But so does Slade…” Dick enveloped you in a tight hug.

“We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

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travllingbunny · 4 years ago

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The 100: 7x05 Welcome to Bardo

Here’s finally my belated review of 7x05. I was too busy last week (with actual work) so I couldn’t write it before 7x06 aired. Then I got a bit distracted with my Dark rewatch and Dark season 3 dropping. But I’m taking a break from it to finally post this review and then, hopefully, 7x06 not long after. It’s good that I did a couple of rewatches because I could notice more details. (The review was already halfway over a week ago, so I added some remarks in italics that are things I only think now after seeing 7x06.)

This was an episode I was looking forward to and I enjoyed it, because it finally brought us to Bardo, in the belly of the beast so to speak (note: I wrote this sentence before I saw 7x06, and now I want to keep it because it’s just too funny that 7x06 put Clarke and co. in the literal belly of the beast), where the main action is likely to be, advanced the main plot of season 7 quite a lot, tied a few storylines and showed us Octavia in the present for the first time this season, and - not gonna lie - the highlight of the episode, 1 minute appearance of Bellamy, the first one since the first scenes of the season premiere.

However, I have to say that I wasn’t really impressed with the part of the episode that should have been the most interesting - Octavia’s flashbacks showing what happened to her when she was first taken to Bardo. It served its purpose by filling in the blanks, or rather confirming what I had already figured out, but for one thing, I didn’t get too much character focus in this episode, except for a touching Octavia-Hope scene and Echo’s disturbing actions in the end, which made for a pretty strong scene. And this time I was really bothered by the sloppiness of the details: from just how inconsistent the time dilation rules (rules? what rules?) seem at this point (already a problem before, but this episode made it even worse, especially since it focused on the timeline so much) to the messy selection of flashbacks in the Memory Capture scenes (while the timeline is the writers’ fault, this was obviously a case of the editor being really lazy). Maybe this is just nitpicking, but I find it really annoying when I can’t analyze details to come up theories because I have no idea which detail is a part of the plan and which is just a screw-up.

:Like everyone have some theories, including those about what really happened to Bellamy after his “death”. (At least they’re not even trying to make us believe Bellamy is dead on social media and in Inside the Episode features, like they tried last season with Clarke.)

This is why it ended up being an episode I liked less on rewatch, and I rank it behind 7x02, 7x04 and 7x01, although ahead of 7x03 (and, it turns out, 7x06). Even though the Sanctum portion of the episode was really strong and interesting this time.

Prepare for a lot of nitpicking of plot holes, and me about to incur the wrath of many t100 fans by explaining why I really dislike like the idea of an Octavia/Levitt endgame romance (it’s mostly because of their interactions in this episode).

This was the second episode this season where Marie said “Previously on” (I’m curious how many different cast members do it this season) and I think it’s the first time we saw the opening titles that were released before the S7 trailer, the ones that start with the Bardo Stone Room.

Sanctum

The deluded brainwashed folks in Sanctum who still worship the Primes have a name they have given themselves - the Faithful. And it seems that they call the people who aren’t brainwashed ‘the Fallen’. Has the show ever had such an annoying character as Trey, their leader?

I must say I related to Murphy when he suggested that maybe they should just let them burn themselves if that’s what they want, instead of letting them exert control that way. Yes, I know it’s bad. But that’s one of the things Murphy is good for, to sometimes say things that we all kind of think but would feel ashamed of saying aloud - at least if it was real life. However, Murphy - and I’m sure everyone - changed his mind when he saw they were going to burn children. And the father of the child who was about to be sacrificed (who we now know is called Jeremiah) looked confused and terrified. Maybe it’s just Trey and a couple of other fanatical people influencing and manipulating the others. Unfortunately, real life examples of people doing horrible things - even to their own children - in the name of what they believe in, to make me hesitate to call this too extreme to be plausible. But what is going on in the heads of these people? At least before, when the people of Sanctum were sacrificing their children or other loved ones or themselves, they believed it meant living forever and being one with the gods, but this?

Nelson is becoming quite a likable character even though he has only had a brief scene or two here and there. (And then the show goes and does... whatever the hell they’re doing with him in 7x06.) Like this time, when he was the only one who tried to save the Faithful woman who set herself on fire, explaining that the people of Sanctum are still their people, even the Faithful. (Now this is a much nicer face of the Children of Gabriel. Where was he when CoG were killing Nightblood people/potential hosts, even though that’s not the most efficient way to stop the Primes - as opposed to killing the Primes and destroying their mind drives?)

Great little character moment for Emori when she asked Nelson: “Even though they cast you out?” He probably doesn’t even know how much that resonates with her. Is this foreshadowing her storyline this season? Will she have to interact with or do something for the Grounders - or even specifically her clan, Sangedakru (which also happens to be the clan where Sheidheda was from - and the most likely to follow him if/when they find out who he is, since they seem to consider him their “greatest champion’)? (The latter seems slightly less likely now that Indra seems to have made them respect her authority... but I doubt it’s going to be that easy...)

BTW, speaking of Emori. let me just address the speculation that she’s pregnant - apparently based on the fact she threw up?! She threw up because she got radiation poisoning, FFS. If she were pregnant, the fetus would at least be in huge danger of not surviving. Maybe the writers of The 100 didn’t know or didn’t expect the audience to know about the effects of radiation, but come on, they must be aware that everyone has seen Chernobyl.) And Jackson, a doctor, examined her right there.

Murphy being snarky: “I’m tired of being a hero”. Hmm... when was the last time, Murphy, you were a hero without someone roping you in first, or without you following Emori’s lead or making a last moment decision? However, while Murphy likes to claim he doesn’t want to be a hero, Bellamy told him in 5x01 that Murphy’s problem on the Ring was that he actually wanted to be a hero and felt useless because he didn’t have the opportunity. Still, he’s come a long way since season 1, when he wasn’t exactly that protective of children.... Granted, Charlotte was not an innocent, but she was still a child. And he was 17 at the time, now he’s an adult.

I’m enjoying watching Indra in her new leadership role and her stand-offs with RussHeda. It’s very fortunate that Adina is not busy with AHS anymore, and JR Bourne makes for a fantastic villain - in a completely different way than Russell was. Russell was soft and emotional while also pompous and hypocritical and seemed to believe his own BS, which made him all the more annoying. Sheidheda is much smarter and has no delusions about being a good guy. He’s scary and dark but he also knows how to turn the situation to his benefit and has very rational remarks about how ridiculous the Faithful are with their tactic. He clearly has nothing but contempt for them. “My, my, what foolish little lambs you are.” (Which ties into this season’s themes of Shepherd and the flock.)

We learn more about Indra’s backstory, and this is the most I’ve been interested in Grounder history since... ever?

It’s also quite dark how she manipulates Jackson with his desire for revenge, by keeping the truth from him that RussHeda is not Russell. But Jackson’s dark side of his thirst for revenge for Abby has made him the most interesting that he’s ever been as a character.

I think that this storyline will eventually somehow tie with the main storyline. If nothing else then because Sheidheda and Madi are connected to the knowledge from the Flame, which is connected to Becca and ALIE and events from the prequel. Especially since it increasingly seems like the “great war” that’s being talked about may have something to do with AIs...

Bardo

Timeline and time dilation

Let me get this off my chest first... The timeline of this episode was confusing for some viewers in terms of the sequence of events. That isn’t the case for me - the problem is that the amount of time that was supposed to pass makes the time dilation seem really inconsistent.

So, chronologically, things happened like this:

in 6x08 (some 4 or 5 Sanctum days ago): Diyoza goes into the Anomaly; ends up on Skyring

Octavia goes into the Anomaly 6 seconds later, ends up on Skyring, 3 months (Skyring time) after Diyoza arrived. she gives birth.

Octavia and Diyoza spend 10 years there raising Hope.

Octavia sends a message to Bellamy in a bottle, not realizing the bottle ended up on Bardo (apparently, the default setting of the Anomaly, is: you go from Sanctum to Skyring and from Skyring to Bardo). Disciples capture her and Diyoza and take them to Bardo.

While Hope spends 10 more years on Skyring with Dev, before jumping to Bardo, Octavia is taken to Bardo, tried to run away, then is taken to Memory Capture. This is 45 (Bardo) days ago. She resists at first, but 34 Bardo days ago, she allows Levitt access to her memories and he starts watching them in a more coherent and chronological manner. 31 Bardo days ago, after he’s seen her memories up to the season 3 finale, Hope comes to rescue her.

Levitt helps them and Octavia is sent back to Sanctum, losing her memories, and runs back into Gabriel’s arms (no, I don’t mean it like that and I don’t ship them) - 10 Sanctum seconds after she ran into the Anomaly! (This is still 6x08)

7 Bardo days ago (which is some 2 days ago on Sanctum) or 6x13, Hope (who had probably been immediately captured when trying to save her mother - I guess she and the Disciples spent 24 days waiting for Octavia to enter Hope’s mind code into the Anomaly Stone...) is sucked into Sanctum, stabs Octavia with the tag which pulls her to Bardo. Octavia is brought to MCap again, and apparently Levitt talks to her and then she is brought to the Stone Room to talk Bellamy down. Something happens to Bellamy and Octavia is made to believe he’s dead.

in the present, Hope, Echo and Gabriel (after spending 5 years on Skyring, which was somehow 2 days on Sanctum (?)) jump to Bardo, kill some people, pretend to be DIsciples and listen to Anders’ speech, find Octavia, and see the memory of whatever happened or did not happen to Bellamy.

Now this means that the time differentials between planets have been like this:

Sanctum: 6 seconds = Skyring: 3 months

Sanctum:10 seconds = Skyring: over 20 years (because Hope spent 20 years on Skying and at least a few hours on Bardo, all in those 10 Sanctum seconds)

Sanctum: a few seconds (under 10 seconds, probably a lot less) = Bardo: 14 days (from “45 days ago” to “31 days ago”)

Sanctum: about 2 or 3 days = Bardo: 24 days

Sanctum: 2 days = Bardo: 7 days

Sanctum: a little over 1 day = Skyring: 5 years

See the problem here?

@justbecauseyoubelievesomething pointed out before that the time differentials may vary a lot because of planets orbiting their suns (and Sanctum orbiting its planet and the suns) in elliptic orbits, so distances from the black hole change. However, the problem with this is that 1) they haven’t said that on the show and instead keep talking about the time differentials as if they are at least roughly the same or similar all the time, and 2) these fluctuations vary way too much for it to make any sense? If it was just 1:3 and then 1:7, for instance, OK - but how the heck does the time differential between Sanctum and Bardo go from 1:200,000 to 1:3?

How is this supposed to work? Do people on Bardo go:

“We’re sending a team to Sanctum!”

“Understood! We will need just an hour to retrieve the target!” “But Sir... they’ll return in 20 years! We have to wait till next week, then an hour will be just 7 hours here!”

“All right, we have to wait for the next week then!”

And do these fluctuations happen just between Sanctum and Bardo or Sanctum and Skyring, or also between Bardo and Skyring? The latter would make their prison system quite complicated and tricky!

A couple of other pieces of info -

Levitt put the “Trust Bellamy” note in Hope’s arm during his MCap session (because he knew what Bellamy was to Octavia), but Anders apparently did not realize why Hope was bleeding or that it had something to do with Levitt, though he was the only one who could’ve had any contact with her?

One thing I don’t get is the part where Anders says: “it’s why you’re a prisoner dressed like a savage so you can get close to Aunty O”. Why did they have to dress Hope in Grounder-like clothes, exactly?

We also see that Meredith’s team was told to go to Sanctum and find Clarke - though it’s unclear why they waited so long to send them. Or why Meredith’s team waited about a day and a half to contact Clarke. We see Anders telling Meredith: “Because of the time dilation, no one will come for you if you fail” - and I have no idea that’s supposed to mean, especially since I don’t know what time differential it was supposed to be at the time.

Octavia in Memory Capture

...And I’m gonna nitpick some more.

Maybe it’s not a big deal that many of the scenes we saw as Octavia’s memories didn’t make sense, because they were either scenes she wasn’t present for or scenes from the future (relative to the moment when she was on Bardo the first time), but I expected better, after the wonderful attention to detail in last season’s Nevermind and Matryoshka, where neither the prop masters nor editors and sound editors made any mistakes with what we saw and heard of Clarke’s memories.

So, 45 days ago, when Octavia was first brought to Bardo, and Anders and Levitt were seeing random memories against her will, the first thing she’s told is to imagine someone holding out a hand to her to help her, and we see brief flashes of various memories (aka scenes from the previous seasons) before her mind settles of many different images of Bellamy:

Aurora with baby Octavia

Lincoln, just before his death

Indra - when Octavia finds her and talks to Clarke and Lexa (3x05) - of course this is there because of Indra, but I don’t know if Clarke is also supposed to be one of the people O thinks of: we see her quite clearly as she’s saying she must talk to Bellamy to save their people

and then a bunch of images of Bellamy - which is where things start not making sense, because while we see him

in the Pilot on the dropship (that makes sense)

in season 5 when he argued with Octavia (also makes sense)

but we also see him dressed Gabriel’s cardigan, which he only wore after reuniting with Octavia in 6x10, after she came back from Bardo, and one of the images is definitely from 6x13 when Hope came from the Anomaly (future scenes!)l

we also see the scene where Bellamy was looking for Octavia and talked to Clarke in 1x06 (where Octavia was obviously not present for! It’s also the scene right after the Aurora flashback - the editor were obviously being super lazy)

and Bellamy in an anti-radiation suit in 4x13 when he had to leave Clarke (the only way Octavia could remember that is if she had a telepathic link to her brother!)

Other memories include Murphy in Pike’s class (clearly just as a cool transition from a Murphy scene in Sanctum), but it was really funny how horrified Octavia seemed when Levitt asked her if he was her lover. ;) Levitt clearly got a bunch of images of her friends - including Raven, Clarke (from the Pilot!) and Indra, whose images we see on screen in addition to Bellamy - and he finally sees a bunch of memories of Hope on Skyring, which is what she was trying to hide the most.

At this point, Octavia desperately tries to make a deal with Levitt - he doesn’t mention Hope in his report, and lets her go later, and she’ll let him into her memories. Just before Levitt starts watching her memories in the chronological order, we hear some more of Octavia’s memories in her head (they aren’t showing on the screen, where the same flashbacks as before are playing):

banishing Echo in 4x11

Bellamy deciding to leave her in 6x03 (“Are you out of your mind? You didn’t need to kill anyone!”)

Miller saying “Blodreina gave that honor to me!”

Octavia yelling “You’re dead to me!” to Bellamy (in that disturbing scene in 3x10) and...

Hallucination!Pike telling her she caused a world to be destroyed and herself yelling she wanted “REDEMPTION!” - which is another inconsistency, because comes from a red toxin hallucination that she’ll only have after she returns to Sanctum (in 6x09)! At least you could say this was already in her subconsciousness, but these were supposed to her memories!

When she starts cooperating, Levitt basically binges the first 3 seasons of The 100 - or rather, a version of it where Octavia is the main character and everything is only from her POV - ending with 3x16, which is probably pretty significant, as they showed several moments right before Clarke destroyed the City of Light and the moments after she came back. We see Bellamy telling everyone what to do as they were fighting chipped people to protect Clarke, Clarke on the throne in the City of Light, Pike fighting chipped!Jaha, Pike saving Octavia, and, and after the destruction of the COL, Murphy and Emori hugging, and finally - Octavia stabbing Pike.

This is where Levitt goes “Yes!” - which makes me (and Octavia) feel real tonal dissonance. He reveals himself to be a true Octavia stan, the kind who thinks their favorite character simply cannot go wrong and who doesn’t just defend her and have an understanding and empathy for her motives and emotional states (which is great), but cheers even the bad things she did (which is not great). Now, if Levitt is meant to be a representation of a typical stan, that’s great. The show has, this season in particular (and even in S6 to a point - through Jordan) been dealing with the idea of Clarke, Octavia and other main characters as living legends. And a lot of t100 fans - including every single YouTube reactor I’ve seen - always cheers and says they’re happy when she kills Pike. I didn’t feel that way, so there’s that. And sure, some of that is because I didn’t hate Pike. But what’s more important is: that moment was never portrayed as a triumphant one. (It it was meant to be, it would have been Octavia killing Pike in a battle, or something similar to the scene where Lincoln killed Cage Wallace in 2x16, not Octavia stabbing Pike when he didn’t expect it, after they had fought together and right after he had saved her life. It wouldn’t have shown Bellamy and Clarke worried about Octavia, or made it her ‘start of darkness’ moment that led to her becoming a murder-obsessed assassin in season 4. And 6x09 made a point that Octavia herself saw this act as a wrong one - that she thinks she didn’t have the right to murder someone in cold blood even though she had legitimate reasons to hate him. The show generally doesn’t portray revenge-murder as a good thing. And that is true in this scene, too: we see flashbacks of Pike at his most heroic (fighting chipped Jaha and Pike right after he saved Octavia’s life) before the scene of her stabbing him, and while Levitt is like “YES!”, Octavia seems upset to see that moment again and a tear is falling from her eyes.

So why, then, is the show apparently portraying Levitt’s uncritical stanning of everything Octavia does as a great thing, and why are so many fans and reviewers convinced that Levitt is a great new love interest for Octavia, possibly her endgame love interest, because of his adoration of her and the praise her gives her? (And 7x06 has made me think that, yes, the show is definitely portraying him as a potential love interest.) Yes, I agree that Octavia needs someone to help boost her self-esteem and tell her she’s not a monster, that she’s a good person at heart, that she’s worthy of love. But it would mean so much more if it came from someone who was able to relate to her as an equal and also acknowledge her dark side and be critical of the bad things she did. “I understand why you did this and it doesn’t make you a terrible person” is different from “Everything you did is right and awesome.” I liked what he said about her as a child, how she was even then being responsible and protecting her mother and brother and not just herself by hiding. But it’s absurd to tell someone “You’re not a killer, you’re a warrior” right after you’ve seen them murder someone out of revenge in what most definitely wasn’t a battle or a fight. The fact is that Octavia is both a warrior and a killer. They all are - she, Clarke, Bellamy, all of them. Having a good heart and understandable motives doesn’t change that fact.

If Levitt is supposed to just be a Disciple with a crush that makes him help Octavia, fine, but I can’t see a potential romance there - it would be like a relationship between a celebrity and an obsessive fan.

World-building

This episode was full of world-building info, probably what I liked about it the most:

Levitt seemed particularly interested in Clarke and the fact she was in the City of Light, which makes me think that the reason why she is ‘the key’ in the eyes of the Disciples has something to do with Becca’s tech and ALIE in particular, and that the enemy they’re afraid of may be some sort of an AI.

We finally saw Bardo. Not that it was surprising since we already knew from the opening titles and 7x04 that the compound was underground and that it was a dome with artificial atmosphere and that it included an arboretum, Stone Room, which is on the way to the cells, etc. I checked to see if it matched the layout drawn by Orlando. I had assumed that the numbers were levels in the structure, but while Orlando put Arboretum as 1, it is on level 2.

It seems that all the Disciples were either black or white clothes. (Fits with the black and white way of thinking.) From what we’ve seen so far, it seems that the military, so to speak (fighters/those who jump to other planets) wear black, while the Stone Conductors, people who do the Memory Capture, other scientists, as well as other personnel (like janitors or gardeners/groundskeepers) wear white. Anders himself, the First Disciple, wears white, so I suppose he is one of the “civilians’.

Anders claims that the Disciples have risen above “lesser emotions” and learned to value the collective rather than the individuals. But from what we’ve seen of other Disciples, that’s BS. That may be their ideology, but in fact, they’re just the same as anyone else and just as prone to developing feelings of love and bonds of friendship as anyone else.

Levitt is Level 11! Which makes you wonder how hard the Disciples really check how ‘devout’ the Disciples are. But maybe he’s just too important as an expert,

We see the MCap technology at work. But we also see that it’s not easy to extract memories from an unwilling subject. Levitt has apparently mostly done this to the Disciples themselves (you’d think most of them would be willing, but obviously some were not, since they sound like they already have experience with unwilling subjects.) Levitt tries to get Octavia to comply because he’s a Good Cop by telling her that they may get his colleague instead, who will “burn right through” her brain. (But as we see from the Diyoza flashback in 7x06, that’s not true - the other guy, Kirsch, doesn’t do that when Diyoza is uncooperative. I don’t think they are actually able to do that.)

The Disciples usually send teams every 30 minutes (but these 30 minutes are drastically different on Sanctum and on Skyring!)

More about how the Anomaly Stones work: while Dev told Hope that all you need to do Is think where you want to go and the helmet will do the rest, it’s not actually that magical - in fact, you actually need someone (normally the Conductor) to push the buttons on the Anomaly Stone.

According to Levitt, pulling someone from another planet through the Anomaly is “ safe 8 out of 10 times". What happens the other 20% of times? Is it really being “turned inside out” as Hope said in 7x02?

It’s also confirmed that people lose their memories if they travel without the helmets from a faster to a slower time dilated planet (which I had already figured out based on the fact that the danger only seemed to exist when travelling from Skyring/Bardo to Sanctum and from Skyring to Bardo, but not the other way round).

When Hope was about to leave to save her mother, Levitt tried to tell her: “They have helmets, too, that means that…” – what? That they can see her? Meredith’s team didn’t see Raven, so it can’t be that. But do they have some other way of communicating? Do you have to be actively thinking for them to detect you? Whatever it is, she should’ve listened as she quickly got caught.

Eyes are important as it’s through them that the biometric signature/mind code is made. And the Disciples have a very quick way of painting/tattooing the code on someone’s back.

What exactly is the problem with the atmosphere on Bardo? There is a biohazard alert as Octavia is brought in and she’s checked for some sort of an infection (“she’s clean”). It seems that the problem is with some kind of a disease (especially with what we hear from Levitt in 7x06).

In the category of revelations that weren’t a surprise at all since the fandom has figured them out weeks ago, Gabriel realizes that there is a Stone on Earth (as we saw in 7x04 and in the opening titles - it’s the offline planet), by listening to Anders’ speech where he mentions that the Shepherd delivered them by a stone. (Confirming the theory that Disciples are Second Dawn even before that was technically confirmed in 7x06 and that Cadogan led them through the Anomaly some time after the Apocalypse and after burning Becca. I suppose they disconnected the Stone so unbelievers could not follow them.)

There’s a ton of new info about the history of Bardo. According to the Disciples, the compound was built by “Native Bardoans”, who went extinct before the Disciples got there. And they were supposedly giants, but were turned by something called “Gen9″ into “crystal giants”?! Levitt says that the whole min code could fit on a Bardoan’s arm? (How does he know that?) I call BS on that. The rooms and doors in the compound are tall, but wide enough just for a human-sized person to pass through. (And there are plenty of human buildings with very tall doors and ceilings.) The retinal scans are fitted to the human eye, all the technology is human-sized, and, most importantly, the keys on the Anomaly Stone are the size of a human finger. The whole thing reminds of many legends that various big ancient buildings were built by giants. I still think Eligius III people were the ones who built the compound. We still haven’t heard anything of them and where they fit. And with the time dilation, they could’ve been on Bardo for decades or centuries before Second Dawn arrived a few Earth years later.

What is Gen9? I assume it’s a disease (especially with all the mentions of the polluted atmosphere on the surface), but it’s also been suggested it may be a computer program, which would fit with the idea of the enemy being an AI or connected to AIs. I like the theory that it’s not short from “Generation 9″ but “Genesis 9″, which would fit with the religious themes (the Disciples mix and match a lot of pseudo-Christian and pseudo-Buddhist ideas). Genesis 9 is the chapter about God’s Covenant with Noah, where God tells him that humans should go and multiple and feed on plants and animals, but they mustn’t eat what has lifeblood in it still, and they mustn’t shed the blood of another human being. “I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.“

These are the transcripts of all the prayers and speeches of the Disciples from this episode, as much as I was able to hear them:

[prayer] “In the light of the Shepherd, for all mankind. He will save us from the war to end all wars”

[female speaker] "The Shepherd brings us wisdom. The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind. (...) Humanity (...) (final days)… burned, (...) as bombs launched, your ancestors chose a different path. There will soon be time when we will be tested to a man, and we will be victorious. For all mankind!"

[male introducing Anders]“And now, it is my greatest honor to present the esteemed First Disciple, who will lead us through today’s lesson on the Book of Allness.”

Anders: “Thank you, Emilio. In the light of the Shepherd, for all mankind!

Let’s first take a moment to acknowledge our newest class of Level 9s. You’ve each demonstrated impressive devotion to the Shepherd. Our predecessors on this planet did not share that faith. Like our ancestors on Earth, they destroyed their world. Even before they were wiped out by Gen 9 and turned into crystal giants, their atmosphere was so polluted they were forced to build forests underground in order to breathe. Even the rain that should fall from the sky, falls instead by their technology. For that, we thank them. But where are they now? We know that by the time the Shepherd delivered us with the stone, the Bardoans were gone, extinct. Why is that? [Someone from the crowd: “They didn’t have the Shepherd!” Everyone laughs. Oh, Disciple humor... ] No, they didn’t, did they? They [unintelligible, Gabriel speaks over this part]… they lost their last great war. That same enemy is coming after us now. But, in the light of the Shepherd, we will not lose. [crowd cheers] We’re close now. We’ve located the key. After hundreds of years it has returned to us. Ours is the generation that will win the last war! Our Shepherd will rise [unintelligible] and we will win (?) this fight, for all mankind!”

Hi, Bellamy! Bye, Bellamy! See ya later!

And for the most important thing in this episode: yes, we were blessed with a rare and joyous moment,, a sighting of Bellamy Blake on screen (and not in MCap but in an actual new scene), as occurrence as rare this season as (probably) the Disciples seeing the Shepherd.

While absolutely no one is buying the fake-out death (about as convincing as Clarke’s in 6x04 or Octavia’s in 6x13, though I now wonder if leaving Bellamy out of the poster and Bob out of the Countdown was a part of the fake-out they committed to), there have been many different theories about what really happened there, if the whole scene was staged or if it even happened or was an implanted memory. (The glitch effects between scenes may have contributed to that theory, but the glitch effect occurred at random points, e.g. when Hope remembered her conversation with Anders, and I don’t see why that would be a false memory.)

For a moment, I even wondered if Levitt talking to Octavia was her hallucination (seeing a comforting figure) because it seemed quite implausible that Anders and the others had only then started to figure out that he got too close to her, and that they were still letting her come anywhere near her. But 7x06 proved I was wrong. Well, maybe Anders has realized Levitt had helped Octavia and Hope and it’s all some elaborate trap where he is using Levitt as an unwitting pawn, though that seems a bit convoluted... or maybe Anders just isn’t actually that smart as we assume he should be.

I’ve never believed in the ‘implanted memory’ theory, and people have since pointed out that there’s a sign of damage from the blast in the Stone Room.

The other prevalent theory is that the whole scene was staged by the Disciples and that Bellamy himself was in on it because he’s been brainwashed. The arguments are - it’s unlikely that Bellamy managed to overpower a few Disciples after being captured unconscious, and that there’s supposedly something “off” about him in that scene because he had been crying just before that. I don’t think there’s anything “off”, and he had learned that Octavia was alive, so why do people expect him to be crying rather than fighting to save her? As for it being unlikely that he killed a couple of Disciples immediately, overpowered another and captured the Conductor - I’m sorry, but have you seen the Disciples this season? They are being killed by pretty much every main character. And maybe some fans see Bellamy as a soft sweet teddy bear of a man and think that only women on t100 are allowed to be good fighters, but canon Bellamy is pretty damn badass and really good at fighting. What would be actually hard to believe is that Bellamy could get brainwashed over the course of a few hours. I’m sorry, but no.

People also said the fact that Bellamy asked what the heck Octavia was talking about when she used the opportunity to tell him that Disciples wanted Clarke (”I’ll tell them everything, even about Clarke”) was a sign he had lost his memories or been brainwashed and that he didn’t know who Clarke was - which is a really convoluted argument. The simplest and most obvious answer is that he was surprised and wanted to know what they wanted with Clarke.

There was actually something odd about that scene - but it was Anders’ behavior. after Octavia said that line about Clarke and after Bellamy reacted to it, he got a very strange look on his face, and the camera was focusing on him. The second odd thing is that the Conductor got very upset at that moment and started begging Anders: “Sir, please, no”, before Anders shut him up - which seemed like an overreaction to the possibility of... what? Letting a prisoner go? This makes me think that the Disciple on the floor detonating a grenade was a part of the ploy by Anders. He certainly was never going to send Bellamy to Sanctum - I have an idea where he actually sent him - but what if he was also signalling something to the Disciple - that he should detonate the grenade? Which would be a smoke screen so Octavia, Levitt and others wouldn’t know what really happened to Bellamy and would think he was dead.

But why would Anders want Octavia to think he was dead? It’s certainly not to make her cooperate, because that was only ever likely to have the opposite effect. But also - why would the Disciples focus on making Octavia tell them more about Clarke, when they could try to use Bellamy for the same purpose? From Octavia’s memories, they must have known how close Bellamy and Clarke are. (Or did Levitt tell Anders that? If he did not, that was an additional reason to suspect Levitt and hide information from him. If Anders was only starting to realize there’s a connection between Clarke and Bellamy, that could have changed his plans.) And they could do more with Bellamy than just try to get his memories. They could use him (his life, his safety) to draw in Clarke, the “key”. If Anders has sent Bellamy somewhere and wanted to hide his whereabouts and make people on Bardo think he’s dead for the time being, the blast could be a good distraction, before he plays that card. (All of this, of course, assuming Anders is actually smart.)

Now, where is Bellamy? He certainly wasn’t sent back to Sanctum, and Anders had no reason to send him to Skyring or Nakara (if he needs him alive and under his control, that would defeat the purpose), And there’s no indication that it’s possible for the Anomaly Stone to send a person to another location on the same planet. So, I believe Bellamy has been sent to Etherea. That would be the reason to finally go to the only planet of the 6 that we haven’t seen yet. I’ve also had the theory that Etherea is the slowest of all the planets - because, if you’re using time dilation as a plot point, why wouldn’t you milk it for its worth? And if that’s the case - good news is that Bellamy won’t get almost any older, but the bad news is that he’s lost all his memories. But not too bad of a news, since he’d get them back as soon as he gets to a faster planet.

This would open some juicy story possibilities...

An Echo of Finn (and Octavia?)

This episode continued the trend we’ve already seen in 7x04 - Hope is becoming more of a killer after her first kill on Skyring, Echo is reverting to her identity as as ruthless spy and killer (and occasionally murderer, as at the of this episode), in her 5-year single-minded mission to save Bellamy and now as a result of believing that Bellamy is dead and her mission was for nothing. And Gabriel is getting more and more frustrated with both of them, especially Echo, and constantly going “will you stop killing people, please?” (Well, not in those words.) (And I’m wondering how close he really got to the others, since they spent 5 years together and were preparing to jump to Bardo, but Hope never told Gabriel about Levitt?! )

There was some irony earlier in the episode when Hope seemed almost ready to attack Anders in front of hundreds of Disciples (she really hates him - I guess because she knew they were torturing her mother), and Echo told her to “pull herself together”, since it was Echo later that lost it, murdered Kirsch the memory capture guy in a particularly brutal way, and blew their chances of using him to get to Diyoza, which would’ve been a terrible blow to Hope if Diyoza hadn’t freed herself anyway, as we see in 7x06.

(Kudos to Tasya for being really good in that scene, she made Echo look genuinely scary. I’ve often criticized her acting, but this time she was really on point.)

So let’s talk about this moment and Echo’s arc this season.

Some people say that this is just a normal reaction to “losing the love of your life” and that everyone would react the same. But we’ve seen other characters lose people they deeply loved, and they did not react the same way. We’ve seen Bellamy react to Octavia’s “death” in S4 and Clarke’s “death” in S6. We’ve seen Clarke react to many of her loved ones’ deaths, most recently to her mother’s. Her grief over her mother was shown in detail over several episodes, and we saw her explode in the end, but while she beat up Russell, she stopped herself from killing him (and Russell was the actual person who murdered her mother and had previously tried to murder Clarke herself and stole her body for his daughter). In S6, Bellamy wanted to kill Russell (again, the actual person responsible for Clarke’s death) and burn the Sanctum down, but he stopped himself. In this very episode, we see Octavia react to her brother’s “death”. which she sees as very real, but she hasn’t started going around and killing anyone she gets her hands on.

Now, Octavia of the past, S3 Octavia, was different, far less mature, more violent, and she did react violently to Lincoln’s death, including becoming a murderer - now, the person she murdered was the one directly responsible for Lincoln’s death, but she also went on to become an assassin and became rather murder-happy, before stopping herself just as she was about to kill Ilian the same way Pike killed Lincoln.

Another obvious parallel is to Finn and the way he was losing control and becoming more violent, ruthless and selfish, from murdering a Grounder prisoner, to wanting to leave Mel literally hanging from a cliff because she was unimportant in his eyes compared to his goal of finding and “saving” Clarke (who, it turned out, didn’t even need saving and had saved herself), to completely losing it and killing a bunch of completely innocent people. The guy Echo killed here wasn’t really innocent, but he wasn’t responsible for Bellamy’s “death”, either, and Echo’s behavior on her quest to save Bellamy has been increasingly violent throughout the season. And, while we knew Clarke was alive and well, we don’t know where Bellamy is but he is still alive and will probably eventually meet Echo again, just like Clarke reunited with Finn.

(Mind you: I don’t think Echo’s killing spree is the reason why Becho will fall apart. The relationship was already disintegrating in S6, if you pay any attention. This is more about Echo herself and where she finds herself without that relationship. Finn’s killing spree wasn’t the reason why Flarke fell apart, either. Clarke still had feelings for Finn, but she had rejected him for other reasons, i.e. his earlier behavior. )

What do all these actions have in common? They weren’t romantic, they were f*cking unhealthy. When Finn told Clarke that he killed all those people for her, she was horrified, and I was really angry at him for telling her something that terrible.

In Finn’s case, he may have been suffering from PTSD, and his feelings for Clarke were turning into an obsession and made him look almost like a stalker. In Echo’s case, she has serious identity issues and her childhood trauma and conditioning by Queen Nia. But the show is, in this case, more open about the fact that, for Echo, it’s not all about romantic love. or love in general. She has lost her purpose. Bellamy is not just her boyfriend, he’s her King, like Nia and Roan before him. Echo’s own subconsciousness has been telling her that this is a problem, and that her relationship with Bellamy is very unbalanced. “Without Bellamy, who will you follow? Without someone to follow, who are you?” It also told her that she has remained the same as before she became a part of the Spacekru and his girlfriend: “Once a killer, always a killer.” ““The honorless spy who would do anything for her queen, even betray the man she now claims to love?” In S5 and S6, Bellamy was trying to not “make the same mistakes”, and “do better”, and was always rejecting Echo’s more ruthless suggestions of how to deal with any potential enemies, and she always fell in line as he was the leader/ Without him, she is reverting to her old patterns.

It’s not romantic or a sign of soulmate love to wrap your whole identity over one person. It’s really unhealthy. It was also unhealthy when Octavia said she didn’t have a home and didn’t belong anywhere after Lincoln’s death because he was “her home”. She had to grow out of that. Maybe she could offer some advice to Echo now. Will it work or not? I don’t know.

What I’m sure of is that Becho is doomed, but the writing on the wall has been there at least throughout season 6, if not already in season 5. What I don’t know is how Echo’s own arc this season will end. She will have to forge a new identity, but what will it be? Will she start following someone else? (That would be a pretty depressing arc.) Become independent, but still a ruthless killer? Will she start thinking about the morality of her actions as most other o the major characters do? Will she fail to find any solution and will die? Not every character on the show gets to have an uplifting arc where they solve their issues. Her arc is different from Finn’s because his dark arc was a completely new and shocking development, while Echo is reverting to who she used to be. But I think it’s more likely that she gets a more positive ending than Finn, because the show has been paralleling storylines in seasons 6-7 to storylines of early seasons (like Sanctum-Mount Weather) but with a more positive outcome.

Best moments/lines

While Bellamy’s 1-minute appearance was undoubtedly the highlight of the episode, my favorite scenes were Octavia’s reunion and goodbye with Hope (even with Hope being an adult now, Octavia talks to her as a surrogate aunt: “I love you, little one, don’t you ever forget it”), the scenes with Murphy and the kids and the battle of wills between Indra and Sheidheda.

The best line by far was Hope’s reply to Anders:

“This is what happens when you value individuals above the collective”

Hope: “It’s called love, you son of a bitch,”

Body count:

One Faithful burned herself.

another fanatical suicide: a Disciple who detonated the grenade (at Anders’ orders?) in the flashback scene with Bellamy

a bunch of Disciples killed, again. For a group that’s supposed to be so badass and scary, they really failing to be that, since they’re constantly getting their asses kicked. OK, they are not all Level 12, and Orlando was both Level 12 and a teacher of fighting skills. And yes, Echo and Hope (and Gabriel, who hasn’t killed anyone so far) have had almost 5 years of training by Orlando, while Octavia and Bellamy (and Diyoza, of course) are incredibly badass even without it. But you can’t keep them getting killed so easily and expect me to take them seriously. This time, Bellamy killed a couple in the flashback, and Hope and Echo killed a few, including a particularly sadistic murder of Kirsch the Memory Cap guy.

Rating: 7.5/10

#the 100 #the 100 season 7 #the 100 7x05 #welcome to bardo #octavia blake #bellamy blake #indra kom trikru #indra #sheidheda #john murphy #echo kom azgeda #hope diyoza #gabriel santiago #cadogan #the disciples #bardo #time dilation #the anomaly

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puddygeeks · 4 years ago

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Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 42: Rᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty-Two

The afternoon passed quickly as I milled around camp in a vain effort to memorise it’s layout. After my encounter with Jasper I felt heavy and emotionally drained and had eventually left him to sleep. There was no sign of Bellamy anywhere on my exploration through camp and I struggled to keep myself distracted as my frustration with him mounted in my mind. I carried an overpowering feeling of anxiety as I considered how unprepared I was to rejoin camp and I felt alienated from the other residents. Abby’s conversation had given me a painful awareness of how little I knew of the current situation and I was afraid to ask any questions in case I accidentally upset someone who had been involved in some of the recent losses. The sensation of treading on eggshells haunted me as I wandered the courtyard and observed all of the new faces that made it difficult to feel that I belonged here. Despite all of the pain and loss of our original camp compared to the much improved time that I’d already spent here, I couldn’t deny that a small part of me longed for the familiarity of the territory that we had built for ourselves. Over our traumatic time on Earth, the first camp had become the home where we solidified our bonds and it seemed strange not to return there.

As the light faded to dusk I directed myself to Bellamy’s quarters with worry blossoming in my chest and was relieved to find that he had already returned for the day. He was in the process of changing clothes and as he clocked my entrance, he smiled with a playful look.

“I was wondering when you’d find your way back. I couldn’t find you in the dorms.” He revealed as he busied himself with seeking out a fresh shirt and it was clear that he was completely relaxed in my company. I stepped further into the room and leaned against a desk in an attempt to act casual.

“I wasn’t sure when you’d be free. Kane seems to have kept you busy.” I commented idly and he hummed in response. He finished dressing and ran a hand through his scruffy hair before he strolled over to meet me with a fond smile.

“What did you get up to ?” He checked with an obvious interest and I caught him staring at my figure as if he was analysing me. I hoped that my building concern was not visible to him as I suppressed a nervous feeling in my stomach.

“I checked up on Jasper and Raven. It was nice to get back in touch.” I answered as I stalled to allow myself the time to decide how to address my queries and he smiled in a way that revealed he was unaware of any warnings in my demeanour. “Abby called me in for a checkup too.” I added and he flinched at the mention of the new Chancellor.

“How much trouble are we in?” He enquired with a playful tone to his voice and his eyes glistened with mischief as he explored my body.

“None. The wound is a little inflamed but healing well. Nothing more than a light scold from Abby either.” I confirmed and he sighed lightly in relief. He stepped closer into my space and I recognised from the way that his eyes ravished me exactly where his mind was going. I cleared my throat and scrutinised him for any signs of avoidance. I know that he was likely to brush me off and prepared myself to analyse him for tells that would indicate his true feelings. “She filled me in on some other things too.” I stated in an indirect method of steering the conversation and he hummed disinterestedly as he surveyed me, biting his lip suggestively. “She told me about Clarke.” I disclosed and I noticed that his posture stiffened as his eyes met mine. I raised a brow at him inquisitively and he stepped back from me as he slid his hands into his pockets.

“Of course she did.” He sighed and dropped his attention to his feet to avoid my gaze. “She was pretty messed up after Mount Weather. She couldn’t deal with coming back to camp. I tried to convince her but…” He trailed off as his focus remained on the floor and he fidgeted his feet. I sighed as I sensed that there was more to this than he was saying and steeled myself in preparation for a difficult conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I queried in a small voice and he reluctantly dragged his face up to meet my eyes.

“I didn’t want to dwell on it. Indie, I just got you back, I wanted to enjoy that for as long as possible.” He explained defensively and I smiled at him fondly as I enjoyed the acknowledgement that I knew him well enough to have anticipated his reasoning. “Look, things haven’t been great here. I know that we both have to face that eventually, but when it’s just you and I...it’s easy.” He added with a doting expression as he surveyed me and I felt a flutter in my chest at his words.

“Yeah, I get it.” I admitted quietly and I noticed that his shoulders relaxed slightly at my confirmation that I felt the same. “It sounds like it was a tough call for the two of you. Are you dealing with it okay?” I investigated worriedly and he forced a smile that I could tell was disingenuous as it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m fine. Thanks to you, I take responsibility for my decisions now.” He expressed and although I was pleased to hear that my support in the past had played a part in his growth, I couldn’t deny the lingering feeling that his response was inauthentic. I shifted on the spot as I raised a brow at him and moved slightly closer to thoroughly examine him.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?” I muttered in a careful tone and I noticed a slight nervous expression cross his face in a split second.

“You know that I would.” He remarked with defensiveness evident in his voice and I could easily identify the annoyance in his expression at my continued doubt. When I still didn’t say anything to indicate that I believed him, he scoffed and fidgeted with frustration. “What do you want me to say? I made the decision to kill those people. It was a shitty choice but I did it. They had Octavia and I knew that they had you somewhere, it came down to killing them or standing by whilst they killed you both. I don’t regret my decision.” He insisted with an abundance of hand gestures as he spoke and I held my hands up in defeat.

“I understand Bellamy, I really do. I’d have done the same thing, I was considering far worse ideas. I’m not judging you for it at all, I swear. I just want to make sure that you aren’t going to walk out of camp one day like Clarke because you’re not really coping.” I explained and his expression finally softened as he met my concerned eyes. He bent into my space and cupped my jaw in his hand in a soothing manner.

“I’m not going anywhere Indie, especially not without you.” He breathed and stroked his thumb along my jaw in a way that made my heart race. “I’m good, I have everything that I need right here.” He confirmed as he inspected me with a contented expression. He gradually leaned closer to press his lips to mine in a kiss that absorbed me into him. As always, I was impressed at his ability to melt all of my fears away with his touch and I allowed myself to be swept away with him.

***

We laid wrapped up together in his bed and I felt as if I were in a state of bliss. I hadn’t expected to be in Bellamy’s quarters again tonight but I secretly harboured a deep relief that he didn’t seem to have immediately lost interest. We chatted comfortably for the evening about the people that we’d lost and Bellamy informed me that Fox had unfortunately been killed when they were all captured. We existed in a strange state of joint reflection as we discussed the events that had occurred back in our original camp and confessed that we’d have done things differently if we’d known that we would become separated. We shared laughter over the memories of better times and comforted each other for our regrets, before the conversation finally returned to current times.

Bellamy positioned himself leaning on the headboard of the bed in a relaxed state, the blankets draped carelessly over his lap with his chest bare and his black mop of hair ruffled. I sat opposite him with the blanket tucked under my arms to provide some coverage and leaned against him with my hip brushing his thigh.

“Kane’s got some radical ideas for camp. Sounds like he wants to reform the guard.” Bellamy stated absentmindedly and I raised my brows at him in surprise.

“I’d almost forgotten what life was like with the guards of the Ark.” I sighed, fidgeting on the spot as I considered the idea. I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of the norms from life on the Ark returning when everything in my life had developed to be vastly different and I wasn’t sure if I could fit back in the stifling society that had once been routine.

“It’ll be different here. Abby’s a fair chancellor and she seems to respect our opinions.” He reassured me with genuine confidence in the woman who he’d clearly come to know well in our time apart and I met his eyes with concern. “From what I’ve seen Kane listens to her too. That’s more stable leadership than the Ark’s had in years.” He commented and I chuckled under my breath.

“I prefer the original camp leadership.” I smiled coyly at him and he chortled. He reached out to brush my hair behind my ear in a tender motion and I relished the way that he beheld me as if I were a sight that he couldn’t get enough of.

“Kane’s been assigning me jobs and asking for my opinion on things to do with our group.” He relayed in a manner that revealed this was bothering him and I tilted my head at him in interest. “With Clarke gone, he’s treating me like the official spokesperson of the 100.” He added with a hint of bitterness and I brushed a hand on his thigh fondly to draw his attention.

“They look up to you Bel. They always have, even before you saved them from the mountain.” I remarked and my words caused him to sigh deeply. “I know it’s not easy, but you don’t have to take it on. We have leaders from the Ark now, if you want to just be a regular camper from now on, that’s fine. I know I’d be happy to take a step back, yours are big shoes to fill.” I admitted as I recalled my strenuous time as a leader whilst in captivity and he made a sympathetic expression as he observed me.

“You sure about that?” He asked with a sly smile that caused me to watch him with suspicion. “It’s not in your nature to follow orders Love, and I can’t just sit back when things are happening.” He detailed teasingly and I felt a small flutter in my chest at the pet name, but tried not to overreact to it.

“I’d be fine, I don’t need to follow orders to not be in charge.” I pouted defensively and I noticed amusement glittering in his eyes. “Besides, I’m quite content to stay in this little bubble, just the two of us. You’d get bored in no time.” I drawled absentmindedly and hoped that he didn’t notice the pang of vulnerability in my words. He raised a brow at me and sat forward to take my face in his hands.

“You think I'll get bored of following my assigned role all day, staying out of the big decisions and arguments?” He suggested as he stared deeply into my eyes and I nodded lightly. “As long as I can come back to this at night, what am I missing?” He breathed as he pulled us together to meet my lips and sent my head spinning at the adoration that radiated through his kisses. It was almost impossible to be insecure when I was under his gaze and I couldn’t deny the impact of his touch, which seemed to be just as addictive to him as it were to me.

***

Throughout the night my mind was filled with images of Mount Weather and the people that resided there. I was reminded of those whose lives I had ended: the guards in the hall, the guard that I stabbed when chasing the alarms and most vividly, the guard in the hazmat suit. The process of his torture replayed in painful detail in my mind and it was agonising to watch even though they were my own actions. I woke repeatedly in a cold sweat and was relieved that Bellamy seemed to be sleeping too deeply to notice.

By the time that I woke in the morning I was exhausted and bleary eyed. I sat up with a start when I realised that Bellamy was gone and scanned the room in a panic stricken state. My gaze landed on a note on the bed and I snatched it with shaking hands.

KANE SENT FOR ME, DIDN’T WANT TO WAKE YOU. GET SOME REST X

My eyes scanned through the scuff handwriting quickly before I dropped it with a pang of disappointment. I stretched my limbs out with a yawn and could already feel the sharp edges restlessness in my mind urging me forward. Despite my best efforts to return to some sorely needed sleep, the moment that I closed my exhausted eyes my mind was filled with the terrified face of the guard with a screwdriver protruding from his thigh. I bolted out of the bed to find my clothes in a determined stomp to distract myself and rushed to dress, fix my hair and leave the room.

I wandered the camp in search of Octavia but I couldn’t seem to locate her in any of the rooms or dorms. I was directed to her quarters by camper but from what I could tell of the empty space it was practically unused. The courtyard was strangely empty as I stood considering where else I could search when I caught sight of her near the edge of camp. My approach to her was rushed as I found her layering up, seemingly preparing to leave and I caught her arm in a bid to halt her.

“Hey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” I chirped in an effort to hide the stress that I was feeling and she immediately turned to face me with an obvious scrutiny filling her pretty face.

“What are you doing up? Shouldn’t you still be resting?” She questioned as she scanned me from head to toe in an assessing manner and I felt a brief resemblance of Bellamy in her protective mannerisms.

“I’m fine, Abby cleared me for camp duty. I feel great, I’m ready to get back to normal.” I confirmed and she raised a brow at me in suspicion. “Are you going somewhere?” I asked as I glanced past her to examine the courtyard for any gatherings but I couldn’t see anyone else who seemed to be preparing to leave with her.

“I’m going to meet Lincoln.” She commented with a subtle smile that would have been easily missed by anyone else, but I caught it. It was still strange to see her dressed in full grounded attire and I recognised that her whole demeanour had changed to be more controlled.

“Lincoln’s still around? You must be pleased.” I crooned with a smug expression and she rolled her eyes at me. Although she tried to act cool, I could recognise the familiar playful glimmer in her eyes. “Everything is so different here, even you.” I sighed as I studied her and her firm expression finally softened.

“You missed a lot, I know it can’t be the easiest adjustment.” She stated with a sympathetic smile and I was glad to find that she understood my situation as usual. “But nothing has changed with us. No matter how different I am, you’re still my girl.” She breathed as she punched me gently on the arm and I chuckled under my breath. She seemed thoughtful for a minute as she examined me and I knew that she could probably see through any defences that I tried to raise. “Why don’t you come with me?” She suggested and I raised a brow at her in surprise.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a third wheel to your date.” I remarked with a mischievous smirk and she tried to slap my arm but I dodged, much to her annoyance.

“It’s not a date, we’re gathering supplies. It’s a long ride, it’ll be a couple of days at least until we’re back. It could be a nice change for us to catch up if you’re up to it?” She enquired as she glanced down at my stomach and I fidgeted under her examination.

“Of course, when do we leave?” I responded keenly and she chuckled as she shook her head.

“I’ve got to finish collecting supplies and get the horses ready, then I’ll be leaving. It should be a simple run but it’s better to be prepared. Get whatever you need and meet me back here.” She commanded and I nodded gratefully in response.

Following her directions, I found my way to the armoury to check out a pistol and dagger. There was an immediate surge of relief as I stowed them in their familiar place on my belt and I felt an anxiety that I hadn’t even noticed settle at the security of the weapons. I collected some extra rations, water and some basic medical supplies just in case. The newfound maturity in Octavia was a welcome change and I was pleased that the grounder culture had clearly taught her not to treat someone as wounded. It was refreshing to have someone trust my judgement about what I was ready for, instead of coddling me as everyone else seemed to be determined to do. I entered Bellamy’s room with an unexpected buzz of excitement for the journey. I anticipated that it would be empty as I returned to collect a warmer undertop and planned to leave a note for Bellamy to avoid his disapproval for my decision to leave.

Instead, I discovered that he was wandering the space as if he were preparing for something and I stopped in my tracks as he clocked me. I knew that it was impossible to avoid the argument now as he assessed me with a cocked brow and I shifted awkwardly.

“Hey, sorry I ran out earlier, Kane’s got me organising training for the new guard.” He reported as he strode over to place a light kiss on my cheek before returning to scouring the room. I behaved casually as I strolled over to take a long sleeved jersey top and placed it over my vest, wrapping the jacket over the top. “I think he wants to get some of our group trained better too, or at least able to defend themselves. After everything they’ve survived so far, it’s not such an awful idea.” He continued speaking in a relaxed tone and I was relieved that he didn’t seem to have noticed my movements. “Where did you sneak off to?” He purred suddenly and I jumped as he appeared behind me. I was surprised as he pulled me into him until my back met his chest and his arms threaded around my body. His head settled on my shoulder and I gulped nervously.

“I wanted to check on Tavi.” I answered lightly and felt his smile against my cheek. My heart started to beat faster as I considered how to approach the subject of leaving and I felt him stiffen as his hand brushed down to my waist.

“You’re all armed up again.” He commented in a forced tone of calm but I could detect the suspicion in his voice. “I’m glad you’re protected.” He added in a manner that I knew was allowing the opportunity for me to confess and I felt my stomach lurch with guilt. I sighed deeply and felt an immediate change in his demeanour at my avoidant gesture. “Going somewhere?” He interrogated and I flinched at the disappointment in his tone.

“Octavia asked if I wanted to join her for a supply run.” I admitted quietly and I heard him scoff in annoyance. I stepped out of his embrace with a strong feeling of dread and turned to face him.

“You can’t seriously be considering it?” He breathed in disbelief and I shrugged at him avoidantly. “Indie, you had surgery a few days ago, do you really think you should be leaving camp?” He exclaimed in an exasperated tone and I peeked up at him guiltily.

“Come on Bel, I’m fine! I can’t just stay cooped up in here forever whilst everyone else works. I need to pull my weight.” I argued and he rolled his eyes at me with a long enduring aggravation. “Besides, it gives me a chance to catch up with her. I thought I lost her too, we could do with some time to reconnect.” I appealed in a desperate bid to gain his understanding and his expression finally softened from anger to concern.

“You couldn’t do that inside camp?” He suggested with a sulky frown and I smiled warmly at him. “I just got you back.” He whispered as his brows furrowed together in worry and I reached up to cup his face.

“It’s only a couple of days, I’ll be right back with you.” I promised with a reassuring tone but it didn’t seem to provide any relief. He continued to stare back at me with something in his eyes that revealed he had resigned himself to my leaving but he was visibly upset by this.

“I know better than to tell you what to do, especially if it involves my little sister. If I say no you’ll just sneak out.” He stated and I giggled at the huffy tone in his voice. “Be careful and don’t stay away too long.” He pleaded in a terrified voice and I smiled thankfully at him.

***

It took some considerable time to extract myself from Bellamy’s room and I suspected that he was purposely tempting me to stay. By the time I stepped outside, Octavia was waiting for me near the gates with the horses. I noticed that the camp was mostly empty and I wondered if she had purposely chosen a time when everyone was busy so that we could sneak away. I moved to stride out of the cover of the small buildings into the courtyard when something caught my arm and I whirled around to find Bellamy observing me with a deviant smile.

“Here, I snuck this out for you, hopefully you won’t need it.” He encouraged me back into cover and out of sight as he handed me a folded up shock baton. I regarded him sceptically and instead of waiting for me to accept, he tucked it into my pocket for me. I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness but I couldn’t deny that a small part of me enjoyed it.

“Couldn’t you get in trouble for that? I can’t imagine they have many of those left.” I enquired with pursed lips and he shrugged carelessly at me. I chuckled lightly at his attitude, causing him to perceive me with an expression of enamoured wonder. The fear that he struggled to hide was obvious in his eyes and I attempted to lighten the mood between us. “You won’t even notice I’m gone, you have guards to train.” I remarked playfully but he maintained the seriousness of his look. Instead of playing along with my comments, he took my face in both hands and stared intensely into my eyes.

“I’ll notice.” He asserted before guiding me close to him and planting a lingering kiss on my lips. One of his hands threaded into my hair whilst the other rested comfortably on my hip. I couldn’t help drifting into him and I felt his indulgent smile through the kiss. It was impossible to retain any focus whilst my senses were lost in him and I noticed that all feelings of urgency faded away. It was cruelly tempting to remain with him and I knew that he was carefully measuring every addictive connection of ours lips to make me reconsider. I tried to force myself to step away but my body wasn’t responding as I remained magnetised to the spot. I felt the all too familiar flutter in my chest and started to get light headed from the thrill. Eventually, I managed to tear myself from him and he groaned in disappointment as we separated.

“I have to go.” I stated breathily and he viewed me through aroused eyes. I bit my lip in an attempt to control the temptation and I knew that he had noticed it. There was a clear smugness in the way that he observed me and I knew that he was proud to have this uncontrollable effect on me.

“Do you have to?” He suggested in a low voice and I sighed as I glanced at him with an amused expression. It was a constant internal battle to remind myself that I could come back to his bed any time and he knew that my commitment to this mission was wavering.

“I’ll see you in a few days.” I muttered as I stepped away from him hesitantly and moved into the open part of camp before he could take any more extreme measures.

Although we’d been mostly hidden from view, it was evident from the moment that I set eyes on Octavia that she had been able to see us together from where she stood. She crossed her arms and examined me with a smug expression. I strained not to blush as I shuffled over to her awkwardly. I willed myself not to glance back over my shoulder as I noticed that her suggestive smile was now directed behind me and I knew in my gut that Bellamy was still observing me. I approached the horse nervously as I realised that I would have to be careful in mounting it; if I showed any hint of struggle I knew that Bellamy would rush over to insist that I wasn’t well enough.

“All set?” Octavia asked and I knew from the tone that she spoke in that she understood my dilemma. She glimpsed between me and the horse with a knowing look and I cleared my throat awkwardly.

“Yep.” I asserted with a forced tone of confidence and she wandered over in a relaxed movement to assist me.

It was a challenge to behave as if this were normal when I honestly had no idea how to mount a horse, without adding the stress of the still healing bullet wound. Thankfully Octavia knew exactly what she was doing and between us I managed to get into position. She gave me a crash course on riding and I was appreciative of the information, even if I felt immensely under-prepared to actually use it. There was the twinkle of a proud smile on her lips before she moved to climb onto her own horse and I could feel Bellamy’s eyes burning into the back of my head.

Now that I was settled safely in place I risked glancing back, only to find him watching me with a painful concern. His posture was incredibly tense, as if it was taking every last drop of self control for him not to intervene. Octavia appeared beside me on her horse and her eyes followed my line of sight to Bellamy. She raised a brow at his worried demeanour before returning her smug face to me.

“You sure you’ve wrapped things up here?” She crooned as she indicated back to him and I kicked myself as I felt my cheeks burning at her insinuation.

“Let’s go.” I uttered coldly and she chuckled at me with a relaxed nature that I hadn’t seen in her since we reunited. “Take it slow for me.” I requested quietly and she nodded in acknowledgement.

Now that I was faced with it, the prospect of spending two days on a horse caused nerves to pool in my stomach as I worried that my body might not manage the exertion. It was more strenuous than I’d imagined to even just keep my balance and the last thing that I wanted to do was fall off before I’d even left Bellamy’s sight. We moved slowly out of camp and into the open fields.

Once we were out of his anxious view I started to feel relaxed. I enjoyed the feeling of the wind in my hair, the vivid smells of the forest and it felt like a dream to be gently trotting side by side with my best friend. I peeked over at her sitting on the horse with a well practised posture, her beautiful brunette locks neatly plaited with only the middle of her mane loosely draped over her shoulders. It was obvious to me how much she’d grown in the brief time that we’d been apart and I reflected on the strangeness of the result that meeting Lincoln had actually improved her. As I considered the unexpected nature of their relationship, she sighed thoughtfully and I could tell from her face that she was also reflecting. She cleared her throat before bringing her eyes to mine with a tiny hint of playfulness glinting there.

“Back in the Skybox I never would have imagined I’d see the day where you were banging my brother.” She remarked smugly and I cringed at the frankness of her words. All of my previous thoughts on her maturity and carefully controlled facade dissolved at her familiarly prying eyes.

“Don’t make it weird.” I drawled as I scrunched my nose into a grimace and tried not to consider the poignancy of her statement. She scoffed at me loudly and I could tell that she genuinely enjoyed having witnessed us kiss so that she could torture me.

“It’s already weird.” She commented and I shrugged in agreement. If I was honest, it’s not something I could ever have predicted back when it was just the two of us in our cells, but now that it had happened it seemed natural. “But honestly, it’s about time. You make each other smile, that’s good enough for me.” She confirmed with a heartfelt smile and I felt tears prickling my eyes.

“Thanks babe.” I breathed as I quickly wiped them away and fixed her with a mischievous smile. “So, is Lincoln still making you smile?” I spoke suggestively and winked at her. I was delighted to earn a snort of laughter in response and it caused a warm wave of nostalgia to wash over me.

“Fair enough.” She conceded as she met my eyes with amusement. “I guess I wouldn’t ever have seen myself with a grounder either.” She admitted with a far away gaze. “Shit’s been crazy since we got down here.” She added in a reflective tone and I hummed in agreement.

“You can say that again.” I muttered as I considered all that had happened in our time here. “We’ve lost a lot of people.” I declared as numerous faces flashed through my mind and I noticed her analysing me with concern.

“We’ve kept a lot alive too.” She acknowledged and I sighed in response.

We trotted along in silence for a while, both lost to our thoughts and I was content to simply enjoy her presence. I reminded myself what I would have given for this kind of experience three weeks ago and tried to keep my attention in the moment so that I could treat it with the appreciation that it deserved. The sun dappled through the trees, casting Octavia in a beautiful, soft light and I felt my heart swell at her relaxed smile. It was a relief to discover that she was happy, despite everything we’d endured and I felt a strange sense of completion as I realised that I couldn’t think of anything else I could need in my life now. I followed her lead quietly and after some time I became aware of how strange it felt to simply follow her.

“You seem to know exactly where you’re going.” I stated an almost question and she surveyed me with a thoughtful look.

“I spent a lot of time out here with the grounders.” She revealed as she easily understood what I was getting at and I raised my brows at her. “Like I said, you missed a lot.” She added with a softer expression as she had to concentrate on relaxing her newly cold attitude and I sighed.

“Yeah, it seems like it. Everyone’s different, we’re in a camp that feels uncomfortably like the Ark and there are people gone who I have no idea how they died.” I detailed as I peeked over at her in frustration. “It feels like we don’t belong in this camp any more. So much has happened and none of you will discuss it.” I expressed with an honesty that I could only release around her and she sighed deeply.

“It’s hard for anyone to talk about, just like your experiences in Mount Weather. It was a bad time for everyone.” She explained and I nodded in acknowledgement. I could tell that she was contemplating what she could recount and I waited patiently for her to speak. “For me, you know I’ve been interested in the grounders' ways since I met Lincoln. It wasn’t intentional for me to join them, but the mountain took Lincoln and our camp was taking too long to act to save you all. So I tried to prove myself to his clan to get help.” She divulged as if it were the most obvious conclusion and I stared back at her in disbelief.

“Jesus Tavi, that was ballsy.” I gasped as I widened my eyes in horror at this idea. “How did that go?” I enquired with interest and was pleased that I hadn’t been around to witness this process.

“It was tough.” She admitted with a deep sigh and I found myself wondering exactly what she’d endured to succeed. “I had to take a lot of risks to prove that I was worth their time. Once I did though Indra took me on as her second and I joined Trikru.” She stated in an even tone and I struggled to process her words. The last time I’d seen a grounder they were breaking through our walls to murder us and the idea that Octavia was a part of any clan just didn’t fit with this memory.

“You’re part of a grounder clan?” I grilled as I tried to wrap my head around the idea and struggled to remain neutral to her explanations.

“I was.” She answered cryptically and I studied her with an ever growing confusion. “I learned so much from them. Indie, their ways are wiser and more balanced than anything we’ve ever had on the Ark. They have me a purpose, they let me prove myself based on my skill and they didn’t coddle me.” She explained with a heartfelt tone to her voice and I sighed in an effort to prevent myself from becoming defensive.

“I can see why you’d be attracted to that.” I admitted as I glanced around awkwardly and compared these statements to everything she had told me of her upbringing. If this was true, I could entirely understand why these kinds of methods would allow her to grow in the manner that she had, but I was still conflicted at the fact that this had happened under a grounder’s guidance. “How did you get a whole clan of the force that wants to wipe us out to take you in?” I probed as I analysed this information and found myself displaying an impressed smile.

“Earned their respect.” She confirmed in a vague statement and I examined her with a newfound pride as I appreciated the strength that she’d cultivated despite such difficult times. “Besides, it wasn’t a problem for too long. Clarke managed to form an alliance with the commander.” Octavia revealed and I felt my mouth drop open in shock at the absurdity of the statement.

“Anya? But I tried to kill her?” I questioned in a stutter and my panic caused a light chuckle from Octavia.

“Anya wasn’t the commander, she just led the unit whose territory we were in. And don’t worry about attacking her, the guards already shot her to death. Fucking idiots.” She grumbled under her breath and I was unsure how I felt about this discovery. “The grounder forces are larger than we ever imagined. The commander's name is Lexa, she’s extreme but not completely unreasonable. Clarke arranged a meeting and although there were sacrifices we had to make, she managed to secure an alliance to attack the mountain.” She relayed and I found my attention riveted to her as she recounted the events that I had missed. I could hardly comprehend the idea of an alliance and the fact that Clarke had apparently successfully secured one was blowing my mind. We rode in silence for a few moments as I processed the new information and I hesitantly questioned part of her statement.

“What kind of sacrifices?” I asked nervously and her gaze snapped to me with surprise. She sighed deeply at me as she considered her words and I awaited her answer with a building sense of dread.

“We had to hand over Finn.” She divulged as she kept her gaze from mine and I could tell that she was avoiding my prying eyes. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with the fact that she had to explain this and I could hardly keep my disgust from my face.

“What?! Why? What could they possibly want from Finn? He was the biggest advocate for peace!” I exclaimed in a burst of rage and she flinched at the outrage in my tone. She bit her lip in consideration and stared out across the forest thoughtfully. My chest burned with anger as my mind frantically ran through any scenarios where this would be an acceptable outcome and instead found myself wondering how on earth Clarke could have agreed to such terms.

“He slaughtered an entire village of grounders Indie, innocent women and children included.” She revealed and my mouth dropped open in shock yet again. She fidgeted with the reins uncomfortably as I gaped at her and tried to fit her words into the image of the peace advocating, mediating person who I’d known. “He wasn’t the same person that you remember. Losing Clarke broke him, he did some terrible things to find her. Even Bellamy couldn’t stop him. We tried to find another way to compromise but Lexa considered it a war crime. They were about to declare war on us again and Finn snuck out to hand himself over. We couldn’t stop it.” She detailed with a far away look and I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

It was difficult to comprehend the unexpected changes in the gentle Finn who I’d grown to respect and there was a wave of sadness that hit me as I considered that his decisions would forever change the perception we all had of him. I was struck by the realisation that this could just as easily have been Bellamy and I felt a surge of pride in the person that he’d become whilst searching for us. I reflected on the situation and compared the actions that I had taken inside Mount Weather to those that Finn had been held accountable for and wondered if I would be considered a war criminal too.

“How did he die?” I questioned in a quiet voice as my stomach churned in dread and Octavia sighed reluctantly.

“The grounders wanted to punish him for every life he took, that’s their way. The army set up a public execution stage right in front of our camp. He would have suffered all night.” She began and I couldn’t contain my feelings longer.

“That’s barbaric!” I gasped as the mental image formed in my mind and I had to physically shake my head to remove it.

“I know it’s hard to accept because it’s Finn, but what he did was awful. The punishment was for an extreme crime Indie. You might not agree with it, but they did what they would to anyone who killed that many innocent people.” She explained and I had to swallow my disagreements. “Even so, none of us could stand to see him go through that. So Clarke stabbed him when she pretended to be saying goodbye.” She explained and I felt my hands shaking as I absorbed this. I felt an immense guilt for the way that I’d treated Clarke for all of this time as I imagined how agonising this situation must have been for her. I wasn’t sure that I could’ve done the same if it was Bellamy and I acknowledged the incredible strength that it must have taken to provide such a mercy.

“Shit.” I whispered with a heavy feeling in my chest and Octavia hummed in response. “No wonder Clarke needed time. I hope she’s okay.” I admitted with a deep feeling of remorse and she nodded in agreement.

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arysafics · 5 years ago

Text

Imperfectly Perfect

Summary: Bellamy knows Clarke is way out of his league, which is why he refuses to tell her how he feels about her. Unfortunately, Murphy knows, and decides to use the information against him.

Prompts filled:

1. best friend-roommates to lovers Bellarke fic involving body insecurity but with Bellamy as the insecure one (I feel like it’s usually Clarke) and Clarke as the one who uplifts him.

2. Bellamy finally gets Clarke to be with him after years of mutual pining but gets crazy jealous because he’s still insecure and thinks she’s too good for him – anon

3. his friends know Bellamy is crushing on Clarke hard but he tells them he would literally rather do anything than tell her, so they (Murphy) keep coming up with ridiculous dares for him to complete instead of telling her. like I'm imagining they start with something easy like painting his nails pink (he could totally rock that) and then it gets more and more elaborate to the point where on Tuesdays he's only allowed to eat foods that start with b or something – anon

Rated T, ~6.6k words

Of all the mistakes Bellamy has made in his life, telling Murphy about his crush on Clarke is probably the most stupid. He could have told anyone else, and he might have been teased, comforted, or pressured to do something about it. But at least with anyone else his secret would be safe. That’s not a given with Murphy.

“Have you told her yet?” Murphy asks as Bellamy lets him into his apartment. It’s Murphy’s new way of greeting Bellamy. The answer is always the same.

“No, and would you shut up?” Bellamy hisses. “She’s home.”

“You know you’re way too old to live with a roommate, right?” Murphy says. He shoves a six pack into Bellamy’s arms, then waltzes past him and into the living room.

“There’s no age limit on having a roommate,” Bellamy scoffs, pulling out a beer as he follows Murphy. He tosses the beer to his friend, now lounging on the couch, and grabs one for himself.

“I don’t know, man,” Murphy says. Bellamy flops down beside him. “By thirty-six I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to have a wife and four kids.”

“So you’ve got, what? Two years to achieve that?”

“At least I live alone.”

“I like having a roommate.” Just as he pronounces this, said roommate walks into the room, all dressed up in a low-cut top that immediately sends Bellamy’s brain into inappropriate territory.

“Me too,” Clarke grins. She walks over behind the couch, and both Bellamy and Murphy strain their necks to look around at her. “What are you guys getting up to tonight?” she asks.

“Watching basketball and drinking,” Bellamy tells her. “You want one?” he nods to the beer on the coffee table in front of them.

“Just let me have a sip of yours, I’m already late.” Bellamy passes her the bottle and she takes a long swig before handing it back. “Okay, I better go. I don’t know what time I’ll be back. I might see you tonight or maybe just in the morning.”

“Okay, have fun.”

“You too.” She heads for the door, giving the boys a last wave before she’s out of sight.

“She likes you too,” Murphy says.

Bellamy snorts. “No, she doesn’t.”

“I’m telling you she does.”

“Would you shut up?” Bellamy scowls. “You’re just making me feel worse about it.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she’s obviously way out of my league,” Bellamy says.

“You’re joking, right?” Murphy says. “Since when have you ever thought anyone was out of your league? You used to have girls begging you to take them home with you.”

“Yeah, fucking—ten years ago,” Bellamy rolls his eyes. “I’m not exactly twenty-six anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“You think you’re too old for her? That it?”

Bellamy shrugs. That’s not really it, but he doesn’t feel like he can explain to Murphy what the problem really is. Murphy doesn’t seem to notice Bellamy’s non-committal response.

“She’s twenty-nine, Bellamy, it’s not like she’s nineteen for fucks sake,” Murphy says, exasperated. “Seven years is not a big age gap.”

“It’s not that,” Bellamy huffs.

“Well, what is it then? Because right now you’re just sounding like an idiotic coward.”

Bellamy resists the urge to tell Murphy how rich that is, coming from the guy who moved all of his things out of his last girlfriend’s apartment, then blocked her on all social media, rather than break up with her.

“Come on, Murphy,” Bellamy says. “She’s a fucking doctor who comes from money. She’s gorgeous, and smart, and generous, and selfless. And I’m—what? A cop who barely grew up without a cent to his name, who only became a cop because he lied to a girl once and told her he was one, and she thought it was hot and he didn’t have any better plans?”

“Clarke really isn’t all that,” Murphy says. “You think way too highly of her. The only thing she’s got going for her is that she’s hot.”

“Give it a rest, Murphy,” Bellamy says.

What he doesn’t say is that yeah, Clarke is hot. Which is at least fifty per cent of the reason why she’s out of his league. But Bellamy doesn’t know how to explain that to Murphy. He wouldn’t get it. How could he? Murphy looks exactly the same as he did when he was twenty. Better, even, maybe. But Bellamy—not so much. Ten years ago, he would have asked Clarke out in a heartbeat, with no worry that she’d turn him down. Back then, he had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence that his looks would compensate for his dickish behaviour. The self-confidence was hard won, even then, after years of racist remarks telling him he was ugly. His lean, muscular body was all he had. Now he doesn’t even have that.

He’s probably only slightly less of a dick now, and without the looks or the self-confidence to cover it up. He doesn’t exactly look like he did when he was in his twenties. He doesn’t work out so much now, mostly because he doesn’t get that much free time, and he no longer wants to spend hours at the gym every week, when he could spend that time relaxing. He still enjoys playing sport and being outdoors, but he hasn’t seen his abs since he before he turned thirty. It’s not that he thinks he’s ugly, exactly, but he doesn’t feel proud of his body anymore. Doesn’t like looking in the mirror, or at old pictures, reminding him of what he used to look like.

He barely dates anymore, and it’s only half because he’s in love with his roommate. He’d been struck by a fear of dating apps and sites when he showed up for a date two years ago and seen the look of disappointment on the girl’s face. He didn’t look like his picture. She was polite enough, and quick to cover up her surprise, but it was there, and it was crushing and humiliating. She never responded when he asked if she wanted a second date.

He’s dated maybe three different women since then, all leading nowhere, and all the while pining after Clarke. Just add pathetic to the list of reasons he isn’t good enough for her.

“Whatever,” Murphy says. “I’m getting sick of listening to you pine over her.”

“You’re the one always bringing it up.”

“Because I can see you pining over her with your stupid lovestruck eyes. It’s disgusting.”

“I don’t have lovestruck eyes.”

“You do.”

Bellamy grimaces. “You don’t think she knows, do you?”

“She’s just as fucking stupid as you are. Which is why you have to tell her.”

“I would literally rather do anything other than that.”

Murphy pauses, his beer held to his lips. He raises an eyebrow. “Anything, huh?”

“Anything.”

“Fine,” Murphy says. He takes a swig from his bottle. “How about you… paint your fingernails bright pink instead?”

Bellamy frowns. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Because it’s either that or tell Clarke how you feel.”

“You can’t force me to do either of those things.”

“If you don’t tell her, I will. Or you can paint your fingernails. Your choice.”

Bellamy stares at him. “Are you—blackmailing me?”

“Well, when you put it like that—yes.”

Bellamy considers. He knows very well Murphy is likely to make good on his threats. And having bright pink nails isn’t the worst thing.

“I’ll go and see if Clarke has any pink nail polish,” he says.

By the time Clarke gets home, Murphy is gone, and Bellamy is in bed, his nails sloppily painted pink. He’d made Murphy do it for him, since it was his idea.

He’s scrolling on his phone, and his bedroom door opens. Clarke’s silhouette is outlined by the light coming from down the hall. Instantly he thinks something must be wrong, or else why would she be here? Usually she’ll tell him about her dates if he’s still up when she gets home, but she doesn’t normally come and see him if he’s already in bed.

Bellamy flicks on the lamp beside his bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Clarke says. “Are you awake?”

Bellamy relaxes. “Obviously. How was your date?”

“Turns out it wasn’t a date. She’s painfully straight.” Clarke pads over to the bed, and Bellamy’s heart pounds as she lifts the covers slightly and gets in beside him. She’s already changed out of her date clothes, in her pyjamas now. She rests her head on the pillow, facing him, and Bellamy turns onto his side so they’re face to face. He tries not to think too hard about the fact that she’s in his bed, but his throat is dry and his brain has turned to mush. This is so not something they usually do.

“Sorry,” he says, his voice coming out all husky.

“It was still fun,” Clarke shrugs. “Which I guess was the point of the date anyway.”

“But she’s not the love of your life,” Bellamy jokes. Clarke doesn’t laugh. She bites her lip.

“No,” she agrees. She glances down, reaching for his hand. His heart spasms.

She frowns in confusion. “Why are your fingernails pink?” she asks.

“Oh,” Bellamy says, blushing. He really thought she just wanted to hold his hand for a moment. Idiotic. “Murphy and I got bored. I hope you don’t mind.”

Clarke smiles, amused. “Did he do this?” she asks, holding his hand up in front of her face, studying his nails.

“Yeah.”

“He sucks, you should have let me do them.”

“Next time,” Bellamy promises.

He watches her as she caresses his hand, twice the size of hers. God, she’s so little, and he’s so big. They’d look ridiculous together as a couple. Surely Murphy can see that. Bellamy can see it, and he knows Clarke can see it too. If the thought even crossed her mind, which it probably hasn’t.

Bellamy thinks about it all the time. It’s one of the many things he tells himself, every time he starts entertaining the thought of him and Clarke together. How people would look at them and wonder why the hell someone like her is with someone like him. How embarrassed Clarke would be to be seen with him at one of her mom’s fancy parties. How she’d have to be on top if they had sex, because otherwise he’d crush her.

Suddenly he’s all too aware of how much space he takes up, how he’s shirtless under the covers, how he doesn’t want Clarke to see his flabby stomach. He thinks he can pass for bulky when he has a shirt on, especially considering the size of his arms and shoulders. Without the shirt, there’s no denying it. He’s just fat.

“You should probably get to bed,” Bellamy says hoarsely.

“Are you kicking me out?” Clarke pouts.

“Well, it’s not like there’s a lot of room in this bed,” Bellamy points out.

“There’s plenty,” Clarke says. “And besides, I’m only little, I don’t need much room.” As if to prove her point, she scoots closer to him, and he can feel her breasts press up against his bare chest. He stiffens, moving away slightly. She notices. “Sorry,” she says, blushing. “I didn’t mean to…” she trails off. To touch him? To get so close to him? Either way, why would she want to?

“It’s fine,” Bellamy says quickly. He doesn’t want her to think she’s offended him, even if it does hurt a little. She thinks his body is as gross as he does. It’s fine.

“I’ll go,” Clarke says, a small waver in her voice. She slips out of bed, looking like she can’t wait to get away from him. “Goodnight,” she says. She doesn’t even wait for him to answer before she leaves, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Bellamy wakes up for work on Monday morning with a text from Murphy.

Remember when you looked like this?

The next message is a photo of Bellamy from when he was about twenty. Bellamy grimaces at the photo, and not because he’s remembering how much fitter he used to be. See, the thing is, when Bellamy was in his early twenties, he went through this phase of thinking his hair looked really good all gelled back. He was wrong. He still cringes at the memory of it.

He sends Murphy a begrudging response.

What of it?

Either tell Clarke how you feel or wear your hair like this to work today.

I hate you

Bellamy doesn’t even own any hair gel anymore, so he has to leave for work early and grab some on the way. He sits in the car in the parking lot at work, flips down the sun visor and looks up into the mirror as he smears the gel into his hair, then combs it through. It looks revolting. At least Clarke isn’t around to see him looking like this. Like she needs another reason to find him unattractive.

Bellamy grimaces at his reflection before snapping the visor back up and getting out of the car. He walks into the station, already feeling like everyone is staring at him and there’s not even anyone else in the parking lot.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Miller asks him as soon as he walks into the precinct.

“Blame Murphy.” Bellamy heads for his desk and throws his bag down, before slumping in his chair.

“He jizz in your hair or something?”

“He’s blackmailing me.”

“He must have something really good on you to get you to make your hair look like that.”

“Yeah.”

“And he couldn’t blackmail you into doing anything better than gelling your hair?”

“Don’t give him any ideas.”

“I already have a list of ideas,” says Murphy from somewhere behind Bellamy, his voice startling him. Bellamy swivels around. “Have you told her yet?” Murphy asks.

“Oh, this is about Clarke,” Miller realises.

“You told Miller?” Bellamy scowls at Murphy.

Murphy shrugs. “You never said I couldn’t.”

“You are seriously the worst friend of all time.”

“For the record,” Miller says. “You should probably just tell her you like her. There’s a good chance she likes you too.”

“There is no fucking way.”

The gel is still holding his hair well by the time Bellamy gets home, but by then he’s kind of forgotten about it. No one had even noticed his new hairstyle other than Miller and Murphy, much to Murphy’s annoyance.

Clarke, however, does notice.

He gets home from work, kicks his shoes off by the door (a habit which Clarke is constantly hassling him about), then collapses onto the couch. Clarke gets home a few minutes later, and stops dead when she sees him. She raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Bellamy says. Then he remembers the hair. “Oh.” He runs a hand over his slicked back hair.

“Trying something new?” Clarke asks delicately. She walks over and joins him on the couch. Of course, Bellamy takes up a large portion of it, large and sprawled out as he is, but Clarke tucks herself into the corner, managing not to touch him at all. Which is fine. He doesn’t want her to touch him if she’s that repulsed by him.

Bellamy snorts. “Murphy dared me to do it. I used to wear my hair like this in my early twenties. Wish someone had punched me in the face for it.”

Clarke laughs, light and tinkly. Bellamy grins. He loves her laugh, and her smile, and that little beauty mark above her lip. He wants to press his lips against it, kiss her smile, swallow her laugh. He pushes down the desire. It’s a ridiculous fantasy.

Clarke reaches out to touch his hair, and he eyes her warily.

“It’s very hard,” she says as she pulls her hand away.

“That would be the gel.”

“I admit, it’s not a great look. I like you much better with your curls. You can’t run your fingers through gelled hair.”

Bellamy flushes, trying not to imagine Clarke running her fingers through his hair. He rubs his hand over his head again. “It’s getting too long,” he says, pretending like her last comment hadn’t affected him in the slightest. “I should get it cut.”

“I could do it,” Clarke says. She sounds almost eager. “I’ll wash your hair and cut it.”

God. Bellamy hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels. Why does the thought of her washing his hair feel so intimate? Too intimate. He can’t let her do that, he’d never recover.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says.

“Come on,” Clarke says with a smirk. “I promise I’ll be gentle.”

Bellamy chews his lip. “No.” He swears he sees her flinch. Her smile drops. “Thanks, though,” he says.

“Okay,” Clarke shrugs. “Suit yourself.” She pulls her phone out, holds it up, and snaps a picture of him.

“Hey!”

Clarke grins. “Sorry. I never want to forget this.”

“Have you told her yet?”

“Fuck off, Murphy.”

The bartender hands Bellamy his drink, and Bellamy takes a long sip. He’s so not drunk enough to deal with Murphy right now. The bartender places a second drink on the bar; a cocktail Bellamy had ordered for Clarke, then turns to Murphy. He’s been relatively free of Murphy’s “dares” since the hair incident four days ago, and he’s starting to hope Murphy has forgotten about the whole thing.

“I’ll have a whiskey and coke,” Murphy says. “But can you also put some pineapple juice in there? And some Midori.”

“What the fuck? That sounds awful,” Bellamy grimaces. The bartender also doesn’t look impressed with the order, but he starts making it anyway.

“It’s not for me, it’s for you,” Murphy smirks. “Your new drink order for tonight. Or else, well, you know what happens.”

Ah. Bellamy should have known it was too good to be true.

“You can’t seriously expect me to drink that.”

Murphy shrugs. He takes the beer from Bellamy’s hand. “I’ll have this. If you don’t want your drink, I guess I’ll just have to tell Clarke—”

“Fine,” Bellamy cuts him off. “But just know that I hate you.”

The bartender puts Bellamy’s new drink in front of him.

“I’m not paying for it, by the way,” Murphy says, and then he stalks off to the booth where the rest of their friends are sitting. Bellamy sighs, picking up his drink and Clarke’s, and following Murphy over to the table.

Murphy has taken the spot next to Raven where Bellamy was sitting before, leaving Bellamy to slide in next to Clarke. He places her drink in front of her, and tries to leave as much room between him and Clarke that he can. Which isn’t much, otherwise he’ll be hanging off the seat. Monty and Jasper round out the table of six.

Bellamy can feel Murphy watching him, so he takes a sip of his drink. He almost chokes on it, but manages to swallow. It’s awful. Safe to say he won’t be getting drunk tonight as planned. Clarke, on the other hand sucks on her straw eagerly, downing almost half her cocktail with the first sip.

Bellamy eyes her with amusement. “Thirsty?”

Clarke shrugs. “I just feel like getting drunk and forgetting about my problems for a while.”

“Your problems?” he repeats, surprised. She hasn’t told him about any problems. Not that they tell each other everything, but she normally doesn’t mind venting to him now and again when she’s frustrated with work or her mom or whatever. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Clarke screws up her mouth. “It’s just—boy problems.”

“Oh. You can still talk to me about that. Unless you prefer to talk about it with your girlfriends or whatever.”

Clarke considers him. “You really want to know?”

Bellamy nods. “’Course.” He can totally listen to her mope over somebody else. He’s mature. He can deal with the girl he’s in love with being in love with someone who’s not him.

“It’s just—I like somebody. Like, a lot. A lot, a lot. For a long time now. And sometimes, lately, I think he might like me too. But every time I try to kind of—make a move, he shuts me down.”

“That sucks.” He’s not jealous. He’s totally not jealous.

“No kidding. Any advice?”

“Have you tried just telling him you like him?”

“No,” Clarke scoffs. “I’d literally rather die.” Bellamy relates to that.

“Sorry,” Bellamy says apologetically. “I guess I’m shitty at relationship advice.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke smiles. “I’m used to suffering in silence by now. What about you? Any romantic prospects on the horizon?”

“Hardly,” Bellamy snorts. “As if anyone would want me.”

“Yeah, right,” Clarke laughs, like she thinks he’s joking. Or maybe she just doesn’t know what to say, because she knows he’s right but doesn’t want to be mean. She downs the rest of her cocktail. “I’m getting another drink, you want something?”

Bellamy glances at his still full drink, then across the table to Murphy, who is deep in conversation with Raven. Still, he can’t take the chance that Murphy won’t notice he’s not drinking his assigned drink and decide to blurt out his feeling for Clarke.

“I’m good.” He gets up so Clarke can get out, then sits back down, allowing himself to relax, and take up as much space as he needs while she’s at the bar. He watches her though. Watches as some tall, thin, stupidly handsome guy comes up to her, and starts obviously flirting with her.

Clarke smiles. Ducks her head as she laughs at whatever this dude is saying to her. Bellamy’s fist clenches under the table, and his jaw locks. Okay, fine, he’s jealous. How could he not be? Clarke likes fit guys, obviously, like the idiot talking to her now. Like how Bellamy used to look, in his glory days. Not how he looks now, with his squishy belly, and the beard he grew to help hide his slight double chin.

The guy leaves Clarke alone, and Bellamy watches as Clarke downs two shots of what looks like vodka, then picks up her new cocktail and brings it back to the table. This guy she likes must be really be doing a number on her. Bellamy hates him.

He gets up again and Clarke slides back into the booth next to Monty. It doesn’t take long for the alcohol to hit her. She finishes her cocktail, then reaches for Bellamy’s drink. He stops listening to Raven’s bragging and turns to Clarke, meaning to stop her from drinking the horrible concoction, but before he can get a word out, she’s downing the whole thing, as if she doesn’t even notice how bad it tastes.

Bellamy eyes her warily, and Clarke grins at him. “You weren’t going to drink that, right?” she asks, as if that’s what his concern is.

“No.” He shakes his head. She gets up, and before Bellamy can move out of her way, she’s climbing over him, her body pressing against his as she squeezes through. Bellamy sucks in his stomach, barely breathing. She heads for the bar again, not bothering to offer him a drink this time. She comes back with another two cocktails.

She gets sloppy drunk after that, and she seems to have lost all sense of personal space. The gap Bellamy had tried to leave between them is gone, and Clarke is leaning on him like she can’t hold herself up. It’s nice, he can’t deny it’s nice. Something he could get used to. But it means nothing.

She babbles a lot when she’s drunk. No one else can get more than a sentence out before Clarke is interrupting to ask a question or go off on a tangent. Raven and Murphy are getting increasingly frustrated with her, but Bellamy just thinks it’s cute. He smirks at Raven’s loud huff when Clarke interrupts her again.

“Clarke, can you shut up for five seconds?” Raven snaps. “I’m in the middle of talking.”

Clarke pokes her tongue out. Mature. “Fine. I’ll just talk to Bellamy. Bellamy wants to talk to me, don’t you, Bell?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Suck up,” Murphy coughs. Bellamy ignores him. He focuses on Clarke, while Raven resumes her story, her voice fading into background noise.

“Why does my head feel so funny?” Clarke whispers.

“I think you’re a little drunk,” Bellamy tells her. She gazes up at him, her eyes trailing across his face.

“You’re so pretty,” she tells him. Bellamy raises an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty?”

“Your eyes. And your freckles.” She reaches out and starts tracing over them. “Like little stars.”

“You really are drunk.”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“I told you,” Bellamy shrugs. “No one wants me.”

“You’re so stupid,” Clarke says.

“Thanks.”

“I want to go home.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

The other four barely seem to notice as Bellamy helps Clarke to her feet, and the two of them throw out a half-hearted goodbye before heading out to Bellamy’s car. He only got to have one sip of beer and one sip of the god-awful drink, so he’s good to drive.

She’s silent on the drive home, like maybe the buzz from the alcohol is wearing off, and now she’s just tired.

“You okay?” he asks, watching her out the corner of his eye. She shrugs.

“I guess so.”

Bellamy doesn’t push it. He can tell there’s something wrong, but if she doesn’t want to tell him, he can’t make her. She seems dejected as they walk inside, and Clarke heads to her room while Bellamy goes to the bathroom. He intends to go straight to bed after that, but Clarke’s bedroom door is open and the light is on, and he stops in the doorway. She’s in bed, looking at him with her big, sad eyes.

“Everything okay?”

“My bed’s too big and empty. Will you come and hold me?” she croaks out.

Bellamy feels his heart squeeze. He wants to hold her. But he doesn’t want to be some replacement for some other guy. She’s just drunk and lonely. If he were a better friend, he’d be there for her anyway. But whatever she has in her mind won’t be the reality. It won’t make her feel better. It will just be awkward and uncomfortable, the two of them lying there, him probably half smothering her, while she tries to think of a way to tell him she changed her mind without offending him.

“You don’t want that,” Bellamy says.

“Okay,” Clarke says softly. “Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

Murphy comes barging into the apartment the next morning, his expression all too smug. Clarke is still in bed, probably nursing a hangover, and Bellamy has only just taken his first sip of coffee.

“Do you have a key for this place or something?” Bellamy groans as Murphy strides into the kitchen.

“Hurry up,” Murphy says. “Your appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

“Appointment?”

“Your tattoo appointment.”

“No.”

Murphy’s grin widens. “Yes.”

Bellamy groans. It’s not that he’s opposed to getting a tattoo. He already has a couple. But he just knows that whatever Murphy is going to make him get is going to be either ugly, or embarrassing, or both.

“You’re taking it too far,” Bellamy says.

“Desperate times and all that jazz.”

“I’m not getting a tattoo.”

“You don’t even know what I want you to get.”

“What do you want me to get?”

“A cowboy—”

“No.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“I don’t want to know the rest.”

“Fine,” Murphy says. “Where’s Clarke?”

“She’s in bed, don’t wake her up.”

“You don’t believe I’ll really do it.”

“Not really, no.”

Murphy’s smile borders on maniacal. He turns and walks out of the kitchen. Bellamy’s heart skips a beat, and his cavalier attitude is replaced with panic.

“Murphy!” Bellamy calls after him. Fuck. He races after Murphy and tackles him to the ground, Murphy letting out a surprised yelp as he hits the ground.

“Shit, Bellamy!” Murphy gasps. “Let me go.”

“Promise you won’t tell her.”

“No. What are you going to do, hold me here forever?”

“If I have to.”

Murphy struggles, trying to get free, but he’s no match for Bellamy’s strength. Murphy goes limp again, defeated.

“Do you give in?”

“No.”

“What the hell are you guys doing?” Clarke groans, her voice hoarse. Bellamy and Murphy both look up.

“Practicing,” Bellamy blurts out.

“What the fuck are we practicing?” Murphy says.

“Shut up,” Bellamy growls.

“Clarke,” Murphy says. Bellamy has the strong urge to wrap his hands around Murphy’s throat and choke the life out of him. “Bellamy’s in love with you.”

“I’m not,” Bellamy says quickly, but his face is hot, and he can’t look at her.

“He is,” Murphy says. “He’s in love with you and he won’t tell you because he thinks he’s not good enough for you and I’ve been making him do stupid shit like gel his hair in exchange for not telling you. But I know you love him too.”

Bellamy’s eyes snap to Clarke’s. She’s beet red. She looks away as soon as Bellamy’s eyes meet hers.

“Will you let me go now?” Murphy groans. Bellamy snorts. No point holding Murphy down now that the secret it out. He releases Murphy and gets to his feet.

“Get lost, Murphy,” Bellamy says. He’s got to smooth things over with Clarke, and he can’t do it with Murphy skulking around. Murphy doesn’t say another word, just slinks out of the apartment quietly.

Bellamy looks to Clarke. He’s breathing heavy, though it hadn’t really been much of an effort to hold Murphy down.

“Sorry about him,” Bellamy says as soon as Murphy is gone.

Clarke swallows. “Is it true? What he said?”

“That I’m in love with you, you mean?” Bellamy says, a little bitterly.

“That you don’t think you’re good enough for me.”

“Of course I’m not. Why do you think I never said anything before now? I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you could never see me like that.”

“How could you think that?” Clarke says, her voice wavering.

“Please, Clarke,” Bellamy snorts. “Look at you. And look at me. It’s obvious. Why would you want to touch me? Don’t I repulse you?” Bellamy snorts.

“Repulse me? Bellamy, I’ve been trying to get you into bed with me for months.”

Bellamy frowns. “Why?”

“Are you kidding? I’m obviously stupidly in love with you.”

Bellamy’s breath catches, and he stares at her, barely comprehending. “You—what?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Bellamy still doesn’t get it. “No, you’re not.”

Clarke huffs in frustration. “I think I know what I feel, Bellamy. Why are you so sure I don’t?”

“Clarke,” Bellamy pleads with her. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. You could have literally anyone you want.”

“But I want you. I think you’re beautiful too.”

Bellamy scoffs. “You’ve never seen me without a shirt.”

“What, you have Lord Voldemort under there or something?”

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that’s what it is.”

“Seriously, Bellamy. What is it? You know you’re hot, right? Like, really, really hot.”

“I’m not. Maybe ten years ago I was hot. But now I’m just—”

“What?”

He shrugs. “Fat.”

“Fat?”

Bellamy can’t meet her eye. It’s embarrassing to admit that it matters to him. That he’s insecure about his weight, about his body, his looks. It feels unmanly.

“Bellamy,” Clarke says softly, stepping towards him. “Look at me.” He does, reluctantly. “You’re not fat just because you don’t have a six pack like you did when you were twenty-five. And god, even if you were, do you think that would make me not love you? Do you think I’m that shallow?”

“No, god no,” Bellamy says. “I don’t think you’re shallow. I just—I want you to be with someone you can be proud of. Who won’t make you look bad. If—if we were together, everyone would judge you. They’d wonder why the fuck you’re with me.”

“I am proud of you. I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” Clarke says, her voice even softer now. She stands toe to toe with him, looking up at him with stars in her eyes. Like she thinks he’s worthy of her or something. “And to tell you the truth,” she continues. “I kind of like that you’re not all hard and bony. Who wants to cuddle with someone like that?”

“You want to cuddle me?”

She flushes. “Have I not made that embarrassingly clear?”

“You really love me?” Bellamy whispers, his voice cracking. He’s still in denial.

“I really love you.” She reaches for him, hesitantly, watching him cautiously, like she thinks he’s going to run at any moment. He doesn’t stop her when she puts her hands on his chest. She slowly closes her eyes as she tilts her head up, and presses her lips against his. Bellamy’s eyes snap shut when she makes contact. His heart flutters.

Her lips are so soft it could almost be a dream. But then she fists his hands in his shirt and kisses him harder, and he knows it’s real. He opens his mouth, kissing her back, meeting her tongue with his. His hands grip her waist. Kissing her isn’t like kissing anyone else. It’s overwhelming, and passionate, yet it soothes him at the same time, makes him feel at peace.

She pulls away first, but she keeps her hands on his chest, and she doesn’t try to extricate herself from his arms.

“Do you believe me yet?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Bellamy whispers. “It’s just—even if you think you love me now, even if you do love me now… once you realise how out of my league you are, it will be over. And I couldn’t bear it if that happened.”

Clarke shakes her head. “Bellamy, I couldn’t stand it if I lost you. It’s why I never told you how I felt before, in case it freaked you out and it ruined our friendship. But I want you too much to let this go. You’re kind of it for me, you know?”

“I don’t know, Clarke,” Bellamy groans. “I want you too, believe me I do. But—I’m scared.”

“Let me take you on a date,” she says. “Please.”

Bellamy hesitates. “Okay,” he agrees.

Clarke organises the date. Bellamy is all nerves the whole day beforehand. They’re just going out for dinner, which they’ve done before, just the two of them. But now it means something.

Clarke knocks on his bedroom door. “Bell?” she calls. “Are you ready to go?”

Bellamy swallows. He’s been ready for hours. His stomach is in knots and his palms are all sweaty. He’s really going on a date with Clarke Griffin. It doesn’t seem real.

“Yeah,” he croaks. He opens the door. Clarke smiles at him. Fuck, she looks so beautiful. He wants to tell her, but the words won’t come out.

“Let’s go,” she says. Bellamy nods, and follows Clarke out of the apartment. “It’s not far, I thought we could walk,” she says.

“Okay,” Bellamy says. He really is stimulating conversation tonight. Not.

It’s a mild night, with a light breeze, the kind of weather that always makes him feel nostalgic about something. Clarke’s hand brushes against his as they walk side by side. Once, then twice. On the third time, she slips her hand into his, without breaking conversation, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And it does feel natural, and right, but it’s also kind of exhilarating, holding her hand in public. She wants to hold his hand. It’s still kind of unbelievable. But he lets himself enjoy it. He feels himself relaxing with the warm pressure of her hand in his, and her idle chatter as she tells him about her day. They’re friends, and they love each other. What’s more beautiful than that?

His contentment is short lived, however. The waiter that serves them is this movie star handsome, six-foot-something guy with a dazzling smile. Even Bellamy finds him attractive, and he considers himself mostly straight. It’s not really the guy’s looks that bothers Bellamy though, at least, that’s not the only thing. It’s the way he smiles at Clarke as he introduces himself as Gabriel, and leads them to their table. It’s how he addresses all his comments to Clarke, and completely ignores Bellamy, and how everything he says, even the way he tells them the specials, seems to be dripping with flirtation.

Clarke doesn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps she likes the attention. She’s not exactly flirting back, but she’s not discouraging it either. Bellamy clenches his jaw, trying to tell himself it’s nothing. He’s got nothing to be jealous about. Clarke is going home with him tonight.

But he can’t help it. Can’t help thinking how much better Clarke would look with Gabriel. How if she wasn’t here on a date with him, she could go home with Gabriel. Somebody actually in her league.

Bellamy’s mood grows dark, his body tense. Gabriel leaves them to peruse the menus, and Bellamy stares at it steadfastly, the words swimming in front of him. How is this date already a disaster? He’s sure his chance with Clarke is shot to hell already.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks him.

“Fine,” Bellamy says through gritted teeth.

“You’re not.”

Bellamy flicks his eyes up. “Just think Gabriel should do his job instead of flirting with patrons who are clearly on a date with someone else.”

“You think he’s flirting with me?”

“Obviously.”

“You’re jealous.”

“Sorry,” Bellamy mutters. “I just—”

“Don’t,” Clarke stops him. “We can leave if you want. It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I don’t want to be that guy. I don’t want to be jealous every time you talk to someone hotter than me. I don’t want you feel like you have to placate me.”

“I know you don’t,” Clarke says. “So what do you want? You want to just forget this ever happened? Go back to being friends?”

“Is that what you want?”

“No.”

“Me either,” Bellamy says, breathing a sigh of relief. “I want—”

“Yeah?”

“I want to be your boyfriend,” he says. A smile spreads over Clarke’s face. “And I want to feel like I’m worthy of you. I want to love you like you deserve to be loved.”

“Me too,” Clarke whispers. “I want that too.”

Bellamy gives her a shaky smile. “Okay.”

“Okay. You know I love you, right? Only you. Exactly as you are.”

“I love you too. Exactly as you are.”

Clarke blushes, ducking her head. “That’s, uh, the first time you said that yourself. Out loud.”

“It is?”

Clarke nods. “You know, I don’t think I feel like being out anyway. I don’t like being across the table from you. I want you to kiss me and hold me. Let’s go home.”

Bellamy doesn’t argue this time. They walk back home, hand in hand again, and Bellamy can’t stop smiling. When they arrive home, they order in, and Clarke curls up in his arms on the couch, her head on his chest, and Bellamy doesn’t even worry that she’s thinking he’s too fat. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so content in all his life. He’s still nervous about being naked in front of her. But he knows they can take it slow, and he knows she’ll make him feel safe and wanted. And they can work through his insecurities together.

“I love you,” Bellamy whispers into her hair, before kissing the top of her head. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Ditto,” Clarke says. “I guess you should thank Murphy for helping us get our feelings out in the open.”

“I would literally rather do anything other than that.”

#bellarke fanfiction #bellarke #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #mine

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breckstonevailskier · 5 years ago

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How to improve Jancy and Jopper in Stranger Things Season 3

I know that this is gonna sound strange, but after reading some posts around Reddit and Tumblr about how Jonathan's and Nancy's storylines really deserved better in season 3, I had an interesting thought: what if the Jonathan/Nancy and Joyce/Hopper storylines were combined into one single storyline?This not only would've tightened the narrative, but it also would've fixed several problems a few people have complained about in season 3. One, it would've fixed Hopper's characterization as Jonathan and Nancy would be quicker to call him on his behavior a lot more willingly than Joyce, with Jonathan likening the parallels between Hopper's new attitude and what he, Will and Joyce went through with Lonnie. This would've made Hopper realize in introspection how out of line he was getting mad at Joyce for blowing off their date to go see Mr. Clarke, and that he should be a better role model towards Eleven and Mike. Two, it would've given Jonathan more screentime with his mother, something that was also lacking in season 3. And three, it would've given Nancy a much more compelling thread for her character arc.Here's how I'd combine the two arcs: Episode 3: “The Case of the Missing Lifeguard” After Nancy and Jonathan find Mrs. Driscoll eating her fertilizer in her basement, they call the ambulance. Once the ambulance arrives and Mrs. Driscoll is taken to the hospital, accompanied by Callahan, Nancy and Jonathan decide that if they're going to run something by Tom about this story, they're gonna need some help from an expert: Hopper. Hopper just makes perfect sense to be a mentor to Nancy, because he's a former big city cop, and he's a dogged investigator who knows how to connect the dots as repeatedly shown throughout seasons 1 and 2. And he'd know a thing or two about how you don't run a story without credible sources to back up your claims, because police detectives and journalists have a lot in common, the only difference being one has a badge and the other doesn't. So Jonathan and Nancy seek out Hopper, and drive up to the old Hawkins lab at the same time that Hopper and Joyce show up. After pooling all of their information together, they split up to search the place. Nancy goes with Hopper, and Jonathan goes with Joyce. I'd do it this way because Nancy has shown proficient use with firearms against the Demodogs of seasons 1 and 2 and even volunteered to be Hopper's backup during the showdown here last October. This also gives Jonathan and Joyce the opportunity to have a mother-son character moment. There's a lot of emotional weight coming back here for them, since this was the place where Bob died, Bob was practically the dad that Jonathan and Will wished they had instead of Lonnie, and Joyce is considering moving out of Hawkins (this fixes the fact that we never saw Joyce talk onscreen with her sons about moving). The character moment is cut short when Hopper and Nancy are ambushed by Grigori. Grigori puts up a good fight with them both, but it's not as one sided since he has to take on two people at once. Hopper is less beaten, as Nancy manages to get hold of a gun and scares Grigori off before he can land the last blow on Hopper. Grigori gets away, despite Jonathan and Joyce attempting to give chase in the Byers' car. Episode 4: “The Sauna Test” For Jonathan and Nancy, it's a big deal as they realize now that the Russians are present in Hawkins, maybe trying to get into the Upside Down or worse, finding Eleven. Before they can do anything about their new leads, they're fired by the flayed Tom. But Jonathan and Nancy are convinced that Tom is in on it too, but for the wrong reasons. They think that he's firing them because he's in league with the Russians, unaware of what Billy and Heather had done to Tom the night before. Nonetheless, they aren't giving up on finding the truth. They go to City Hall to convene with Joyce and Hopper again, who are there to talk to Larry Kline since Hopper remembers seeing Grigori coming out of Larry's office. Once again, I'd place Nancy alongside Hopper as he interrogates Larry. When Larry threatens to put in a call to Tom at the Post, Nancy laughs, “You really think that’s gonna do anything? Seeing as I’ve been fired already.” But Larry turns his ire on Nancy, and decides to insult her obsessive pursuit of justice for Barb. Nancy snaps and breaks Larry's nose. They both pin Larry to his office table, and interrogate him to get him to reveal what the Russians are doing at Starcourt. Joyce and Hopper take Larry back to his house to get the property records of the lots the Russians are buying up. While this happens, Nancy and Jonathan go to Starcourt Mall to talk to Steve, as while Jonathan hasn't quite 100% forgiven Steve for breaking his camera, they know about his friendship with Dustin, that he works at Scoops Ahoy and he may have noticed something unusual. To their surprise, Steve believes every word of what they say, and tells them about the activity he witnessed last night with Robin and Dustin. Jonathan and Nancy reconvene with Joyce and Hopper, and they pool their information. Jonathan is the one who goes to the hospital to check on Mrs. Driscoll, and witnesses her being activated by the Mind Flayer. Episode 5: “The Flayed” Meanwhile, Nancy and Joyce go with Hopper to check out the properties from Larry's list, and discover Alexei. Since Robin is out of contact, the four decide that they need to have someone to take Alexei to Murray Bauman so he can translate. Nancy and Jonathan are the most acquainted with Murray, since he helped them get the truth out about Barb last year, and it was in his house that they made love for the first time, so they insist on going together. Hopper offers to go with them, since he's concerned for the possibility that Grigori will be after them, after some back and forth between the three of them. Joyce elects to remain in Hawkins to look after Will. So Nancy, Jonathan and Hopper make their way out to Murray's, while Joyce remains behind in Hawkins and talks with Will, Mike, Lucas, Eleven and Max. Through them, she learns about what's happened to Billy, and remembering what happened with Will last year, suspects that the Mind Flayer is back and is creating an army. With Hopper unavailable, Joyce gets in touch with Callahan and they go back to the hospital to check on Mrs. Driscoll. Unfortunately, she's not there when the two enter her room. Joyce and Callahan are then attacked by the flayed Tom and Bruce, and Joyce succeeds at killing both of them, though Callahan is badly wounded and has to be hospitalized. Episode 6: “E Pluribus Unum” Nancy, Jonathan and Hopper get Alexei to Murray's place. Along the way, there's some character growth for the three as Jonathan talks with Nancy about Joyce wanting to move, while Hopper tries to give Nancy some words of advice on how being a journalist is no different from being a cop. The scene at Murray's is slightly different. Murray can't help but tease Nancy and Jonathan about last year, much to their embarrassment and to a bemused face from Hopper. Nonetheless, they interrogate Alexei and get him to reveal that the Russians are attempting to access the Upside Down and that they are opening a portal beneath Starcourt. Jonathan and Nancy remember what Steve told them, and worrying for their respective brothers' safety, Jonathan insists that they return to Hawkins immediately. Episode 7: “The Bite”

Meanwhile, back in Hawkins, to find the Mind Flayer, Eleven uses her powers in an attempt to psychically communicate with Billy, learning of his troubled childhood and finding the Flayer at the mill. Billy senses Eleven's presence, giving the Mind Flayer access to her location, and reveals that the Mind Flayer's plan is to kill her in revenge for her closing the gate. The Flayed converge on the mill, dissolving into an organic mass and merging with the Mind Flayer. Joyce determines that the Mind Flayer is coming for Eleven and for Will. Will senses the Mind Flayer approaching and it attacks them before they flee, wounding Eleven. They rush Eleven to a safe place where they can hide her and treat her wounds. Dustin contacts them over walkie-talkie to try and explain the situation with Steve before he loses battery power. Through some process of elimination, they figure out where Dustin is and make their way to the mall. (Basically, Joyce switches places with Jonathan and Nancy)

Hopper's group, made of himself, Jonathan, Nancy, Murray and Alexei, make their way to the fairgrounds in Hawkins in an effort to search for Nancy’s and Jonathan’s brothers as well as Joyce, but they are spotted by Kline, who alerts the Russians. Grigori almost manages to get the drop on Alexei, but Nancy shoots and wounds him in his shoulder just before he can fire. The bullet is not enough to kill Grigori, but enough that his shot misfires and Alexei survives. The group catch up to Larry, where they learn that the agents are looking for the children at the mall, and Nancy and Jonathan get the joint satisfaction of beating the shit out of Larry. At the mall, Eleven's group arrives in time to stop the Russians from shooting Dustin's group.

Episode 8: “The Battle of Starcourt”

The final battle then goes down mostly the same. Nancy and Jonathan's car fu with Billy still happens. But there are a few areas where I'd make some more changes. Namely, while the others distract the Mind Flayer by attacking it with fireworks, Nancy and Jonathan get to beat the shit out of Heather, to get back at her for flaying her dad (their former boss), while Steve, Robin, Eleven and Max fight with Billy. Eleven is able to awaken Billy's mind from his memories, weakening the Flayer's control enough that Steve is able to bash Billy's skull in with his nail bat, allowing Max to deliver the finishing blow and giving them both the satisfaction of payback for the season 2 finale where Billy almost beat Steve to death. (And while I'm at it, have Max feel no sadness over Billy's death, but instead relief that he's dead)As for closing the gate to defeat the Mind Flayer, I change this part of the battle just a bit. Namely, Alexei is by Joyce's side while Hopper is fighting Grigori in the gate room. Nancy and Jonathan come to their aid after defeating Heather. Hopper fights with Grigori in the gate room as the others prepare to shut down the gate. Hopper throws Grigori into the machine, causing it to go haywire and block his exit. There are a couple possible endings: 1) Nancy, Jonathan and Alexei somehow manage to rescue him, and Alexei has to switch places with Hopper. Joyce shuts down the gate, Alexei choosing to sacrifice his own life in the process of taking down the project that he'd worked on. Or 2) Hopper still sacrifices himself, and Alexei defects to Dr. Owens when he arrives with the cavalry. In either ending, Murray buys out the Hawkins Post and rehires Nancy. In ending 1, he also rehires Jonathan as the paper's photographer, while Nancy divides her time between writing stories and being Hopper's reserve deputy. In ending 2, the Byers still move away.

#stranger things #stranger things season 3 #stranger things meta #jancy #jopper #joyce byers #jim hopper #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #murray bauman #rewrite #better writing for nancy and jonathan #better writing for hopper #fixed characterization and tighter narrative #mixes up the dynamics

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foreverevanescent · 5 years ago

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Nightmare from the Past (Chapter 2)

“Hi Danielle, it’s me, Sam. You might remember me from Dr. Clark’s creative writing class. We did a project together where we had to write a small novella together. I was wondering if you wanted to get together and…no, that’s too wordy,” Sam sighed, looking into her pocket mirror before breathing again and pointing a finger gun at the mirror.

“Hey, what’s up, Danielle? I was thinking you and me should totally hang out after school…no, that’s not it either…,” Sam sighed again, placing her hand underneath her chin, trying to think of the right way of asking Danielle out. She was standing in front of her locker, right by an intersection inside the school that led to hallways to the left, right, and forward.

“Hey Danielle, it’s Sam, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me sometime?” Sam said, with a victorious smile on her face that went away the moment she heard Clover chuckling in the background. She turned only to see Alex and Clover, with Clover trying in vain to contain her laughter. “How…how much of that did you hear?” Sam muttered nervously, knowing the answer, but hoping she was wrong.

“…all of it,” Alex mumbled, not looking Sam in the eye, while Clover finally couldn’t contain her laughter and started bursting out laughing.

“Gee, thanks Clover,” Sam said, looking away from her friends with a blush on her face. Alex nudged Clover in the gut, which got her to calm down.

“I’m sorry about that Sam. I really do want you to get together with Danielle, but I…just couldn’t help it. I think it’s just adorable how nervous you are,” Clover admitted while scratching the back of her neck, much to Sam’s annoyance. Clover then turned to the edge of the hallway and saw Danielle by another row of lockers to the right of where Sam was standing. Clover pushed Sam to the edge of the hallway so that she was facing Danielle. Sam jumped upon seeing her crush and tried to run away, but Clover blocked her way.

“Come on Sammy, you know I can’t let you leave. This is your big chance. It’s just you and Danielle alone in the hallway. This is the perfect chance for you to get your girl!” Clover said, before pushing Sam further in the hallway. Sam sighed before taking a deep breath, walking towards Danielle, who was looking through her locker.

‘OK Sam, this is no biggie. I’m just asking the love of my life out on a date. That’s all. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this,’ Sam told herself as she came closer and closer to Danielle. As she saw Danielle, her confidence started to waver, and waver hard. ‘OK, I can’t do this, I can’t do this!’ Sam yelled in her mind. Before Danielle could turn around, Sam covered her face with her purse again. Sam then maneuvered behind Danielle, before running right into another hallway to the left, meeting up with Alex and Clover a minute later.

“I…couldn’t do it,” Sam mumbled, causing Alex and Clover to facepalm.

“Really?” Clover asked, shaking her head. Before Sam could answer, James popped up from behind them and picked up Sam.

“Are you OK? You look like you’re in pain,” James asked, patting Sam’s clothes to remove excess dust. Sam swatted James’ hand away and moved back away from him.

“I was fine until you showed up! I thought I told you I wanted nothing to do with you!” Sam yelled, pointing a finger at James and jabbing his chest.

“Yes I know, but I think I can win you back,” James responded, with Clover and Alex rolling their eyes in the background.

“Highly unlikely,” Sam mumbled.

“How about a date tomorrow? Just you and me, so I can prove to you that I’ve changed,” James explained.

“You say you listened to me, yet you seem to forget about the part where I said that I like girls now. I’m not interested in any date, romantic or otherwise with the likes of you, so leave me the hell alone and go bother someone else!” Sam yelled, before walking off. Clover and Alex followed Sam away from James, but not before Clover flipped him off.

“That’s OK Samantha, I will wait for a lifetime for you!” James called, waving at Sam. The three girls walked to their lockers before Sam lightly banged her head on hers.

“Great, I can’t talk to the girl I love, and I have some crazy ex chasing after me. Can this get any worse?” Sam lamented before she realized what she just said and pushed Clover and Alex away from her locker, where a trap door opened right in front of it.

“Wow…nice catch, Sammy!” Alex complimented, not noticing a hole opening up in the ceiling.

“It happens every time we complain about something not being able to get worse, so I thought we would be prepared,” Sam explained, not noticing the hole in the ceiling had a certain metallic shine to it.

“Yeah, I mean, no matter how many times we get dropped into Jerry’s office, I can never get used to it,” Clover said, with Sam chuckling before a robotic boot grew out of the hole, kicking them and dropping them into the hole in front of Sam’s locker.

“GOD DAMMIT!” all three bellowed, as they fell through the hole, and right onto the couch in front of Jerry’s desk, where he was waiting for them with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

“A for effort girls,” Jerry quipped, causing the three to groan.

“You know Jerry, with how long we’ve known each other, it wouldn’t kill you to give us some sort of advanced warning when you need us,” Sam grumbled, with Clover and Alex nodding in agreement.

“No, but where’s the fun in that?” Jerry chuckled before walking back to his desk. Jerry turned on the computer, and the giant screen behind him displayed James’ picture, causing Sam to groan. “As you can see here, James was recently…”

“…released from prison, and is back at our school. Yeah, we know, and he hasn’t been able to leave Sam alone,” Alex interrupted, which caused Sam to groan even louder, and put her face in her hands. Jerry raised an eyebrow and turned his attention to Sam.

“Is this true, Sam?” Jerry asked. Sam nodded and took a long and deep breath before beginning to talk.

“Unfortunately. He won’t quit bugging me! He says he’s in love with me and wants to get back together, and he can’t get it through his thick skull that I hate him and want nothing to do with him!” Sam screamed before she took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm down.

“And all the while, Sammy’s trying to get a certain brown-eyed girl to notice her,” Clover added with a smirk, causing Sam to stomp on Clover’s foot.

“Do you plan on telling everyone about my crush on Danielle!? Plus, her eyes are green!” Sam yelled at Clover, who was laughing at Sam’s anger, while Alex was trying to calm Sam down. Jerry had a hand underneath his chin while he was looking at the fight in front of him. After Alex was able to pull Sam away from Clover, Jerry snapped his fingers, indicating that he had an idea.

“Sam, I know that you do not like James, but I have something of a mission for you,” Jerry said. Sam shook her head, immediately knowing what Jerry had in mind.

“NO WAY! I’m not spending a second with that piece of crap! Not in a million years!” Sam said, with her arms crossed, and her head turned to the side away from Jerry. Jerry sighed and put a gentle hand on her shoulder with a sympathetic look on his face.

“Listen Samantha, I don’t like this idea either, and I hate the thought of someone I consider like a daughter being near a man like James. However, this could bring important information enough to stop him from doing something dangerous, like he did last time. I want to assure you, I will give you enough gadgets to protect yourself, and of course Alex and Clover will be there in case things go wrong,” Jerry explained. Sam looked very conflicted, but when she looked at Clover and Alex, they both nodded.

“Sam, if James so much as puts one hair out of place on your head, we’re going to make him regret the fact that he got an early release,” Clover said, surprisingly seriously for a girl who was just playfully making fun of her best friend’s crush. Sam looked at Clover, Alex, and then Jerry before nodding.

“OK Jerry, I’ll do it. Begrudgingly, but I’ll do it and get any information that you need. Whatever it takes to get him the hell out of my life,” Sam responded, shaking Jerry’s hand, while worrying about what James had in store for her once she was alone with him.

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wantedladybug · 5 years ago

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Diamond Absolutes

"So many lives lost because I held back. When I should've used all my power."

-Clark Kent, The Superman (Injustice: Gods Among Us)

Fear. Doubt. Guilt. Rage.

Such powerful negative emotions called to Gabriel Agreste like a flame to a moth. And like the proverbial moth, he was drawn by its allure. But this...this was different. Normally he would akumatize them and sick them on Ladybug and Chat Noir. The negative emotions though, were growing. Festering. Like a tumor too early to detect.

But worse was the cause. Loss. Of a mother. A wife. And it reminded him of his own wife sleeping deep beneath the house. It caused a feeling not unfamiliar to Gabriel - empathy. He wouldn't act on these feelings. Not this time. It would be like akumatizing his own son. And he couldn't do that to him. Time would heal this wound, and he would let it pass.

But if a time came when the emotions would be too strong to ignore, then he wouldn't hesitate. A negative emotion too strong for even Ladybug and Chat Noir to conquer. How could he pass that opportunity?

...

Adrien stood there, letting Marinette cry into his shoulder as Chat Noir. For the first time since he'd known her, she seemed so small, so...fragile. He'd never seen her like this before - maybe frustrated the first time they met after the misunderstanding with Chloe. But this...she was broken. And he had no idea what to say to his friend as she sobbed and sobbed into his shoulder until he could feel the tears start to soak into his clothes.

And he couldn't blame her for it either. He knew exactly where she was coming from - his own mom had simply vanished from his life. He had no idea if she was alive or dead, if she was okay or not. But Marinette did. And it devastated her. All he could think to do right then was try to be a good friend. The one she desperately needed right now.

Once her cries died down, he tilted her head up to look at him and said, "I'm going to take you back to your dad, okay? He's worried about you. So are your friends, Alya and Nino."

She nodded silently and let him carry her in his arms bridal style as he leapt across the Parisian rooftops to her room above the bakery. He escorted her inside through the balcony and guided her downstairs into the living room where Nino and Alya were still talking to her dad. Upon seeing her, Alta was the first one to hug her, "Girl. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Nino joined the hug. Marinette was quiet, almost in a daze as she stared at her dad coming to hug her, "Marinette. Please don't scare me like that again."

She didn't answer. And it was worrying Adrien. Everything about this was wrong - Marinette was not okay. She was far from it. But what could he do? What could he say? Probably nothing as Chat Noir. But as Adrien Agreste? But that would have to wait. Marinette would be fine for now as long as she had her dad, Alya, and Nino.

Right now, he had to find Ladybug and figure out what the hell happened. He crept his way back to the door but stopped when Marinette finally spoke, "Chat."

"Yes?" he paused to offer her a small smile. She nodded, "Thank you."

"It's nothing. Just doing what heroes do," he winked before stepping out onto the stairs. He stopped at the foot when he saw the hood stain still there. From her mother. The one who was no longer around. He glanced back up the stairs, wondering if he should stick around a little longer but decided against it. He could check on her tomorrow at school. As he continued on, Alya ran out and called after him, "Chat Noir!?"

He looked back and smiled at her, "Hey there Miss Ladyblog."

"Marinette. Thanks for finding her," she said after catching her breath, "Where was she?"

"A few blocks from here. She seemed...lost," he explained quickly to conceal the fact that he was looking for her, "She started crying the moment I found her. I figured whatever happened, she needed to be with her family."

"She really does," Alya nodded, looking back up at the bakery grimly. He took a bow, "Look after her. The last thing she needs right now is to be akumatized. I have to go find m'lady and ask her about what happened!"

He took off quickly before she could say anything else, hoping to avoid an awkward conversation about throwing things off roofs. Unfortunately, he never found Ladybug. After days of looking after school or when he had a free day, it was like she disappeared. He worried about what he would do if she wasn't around when an Akuma attacked. Or worse, what he should do if whatever compelled her to throw a man off a roof led to her akumatization. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

...

Alya and Nino spent the night, calling their families to let them know where they were and just trying to be there for Marinette and her dad. Marinette wanted to say something to her dad. To Nino. To Alya. Her best friend. But the words just kept getting choked up in the back of her throat. And they could tell she wasn't alright.

Her dad called her off school for a couple of days, which was good because she wasn't sure she could face her classmates at the moment. Alya came over every day after school to visit and drop off her homework, but the pile just kept on growing because Marinette couldn't bring herself to face it either. Most of her time at home was spent lying in bed staring at the phone quietly. It hadn't rung once since she got it. But her mind kept coming back to it - Who was on the other end. Why her? Why did it have to happen to her family!?

Whenever she put the phone away, it was just to go back to sleep. The world could wait now. The world would have to. Ladybug didn't want to come out. Sometimes she wondered if an Akuma would come after her. But one never did. But it didn't bring her relief. In fact, all it did was make her tired.

Whenever she could find the strength to get out of bed, it was usually just to eat or to use the bathroom. But that felt more like a routine than a need. She was barely hungry anymore. All she felt was tired. Tired and guilt for what she had done. And what she had failed to do.

Helping her dad out in the bakery helped to clear her head, but it was just a distraction for her. And even that didn't last long because all it did was remind her of the fact that her mom wasn't around anymore. Still, she had to endure. She tried to endure. The busier she kept, the easier it would be to distract herself from these thoughts. Even talking to customers on busy days seemed to help.

At the end of an exceptionally busy day, she started closing up the bakery when she noticed Master Fu of all people standing across the street - watching her. Her heart began to sink as he gestured with his finger for her to come outside, her throat becoming dry and palms sweating.

Against her better judgment, she went outside to meet him, "Master Fu."

"We need to have a very serious talk, Marinette," he said quietly, turning to lead the way, "We can walk as we talk."

She looked back at the bakery that was still half closed. She didn't want this conversation now but it seemed Master Fu wasn't giving her a choice. Quietly, unsure of herself, Marinette followed obediently while fiddling with her fingers. He didn't say anything for the longest time and that made her mind race in fear. Was he going to take the Miraculous? Punish her? What was he here to do?

"I'm sorry about your mother Marinette," he finally said, "I heard about what happened. I'm truly sorry for your loss."

That couldn't have been the only reason he was her. She was sure of it. And he continued, "But I also know about what you did. The Miraculouses are tools to inspire hope and bring change for the better. What you did was an indulgence for yourself."

He was right. It was. But that man deserved it for what he did to her mother. Surely Master Fu could understand that? She murmured, "It was justice."

"That's not justice, Marinette. That's revenge," Master Fu answered sternly, his eyes hiding the smallest trace of sadness behind their disappointment, "Justice was when you stopped him and let the police have him. Revenge was when you dropped him off a roof. And the Miraculous must never be used for that."

He was right. She knew he was right, "I'm sorry."

"This is a difficult time for you, but that makes it all the more important that you be careful. You mustn't allow yourself to be akumatized like Chloe was. If the holder of the Ladybug Miraculous were to be akumatized…nothing would stop them," Master Fu added quickly. She paused, feeling like a failure and terrible for being reminded of her short comings. The she felt him place a hand on her and squeeze gently, smiling calmly, "We're here for you, if you need us Marinette."

"That's what I've been trying to tell her."

She looked down and saw Tikki poking her head out of her purse, "Tikki?"

Tikki floated up to hug her cheek, before disappearing back down into her purse, "I'm glad you're at least talking now. You've been so quiet for days. I was worried."

"I'm sorry I haven't been myself. I just…can't stop thinking about what happened. It just keeps playing in my mind. Over and over again," she answered sheepishly. Master Fu went on to add, "I understand, Marinette. But there are people who care about you. People who worry. Don't fret so much. And don't forget that they're here for you if you need them."

He paused again before sighing, "However, I think it would be best if you gave the Miraculous to me for the next few days while you deal with your loss."

Marinette's eyes widened, "But Master Fu-"

"No buts Marinette. We can't risk you being akumatized while you possess a Miraculous," Master Fu countered.

"But…I don't think I can do this without Tikki," Marinette added quietly, her eyes shifting back down to the little kwami. The small creature nodded and floated back up to greet Master Fu, "Master, I think I should stay with Marinette for now."

Marinette was surprise to see the kwami take her side, remembering what she said about the other Miraculous holders before her. The old man looked between the two, hesitating for a moment before agreeing, "Okay, I'll trust you two. But if anything happens, I won't hesitate to take the Miraculous. Tikki, take care of Marinette. And Marinette…feel better."

He gave them one last hopeful smile before turning to leave. Marinette felt her smile vanish. Would she feel better? Would this…hurt…ever go away?

#Miraculous Ladybug fanfic #Ladybug Public Enemy AU #Chapter 4 #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste

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andiesmu-archive · 6 years ago

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WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER ➝ VEELEN

TAGGING ➝ Vienna Cortez, Valencia Cortez.

LOCATION ➝ Vienna’s Apartment.

TIME FRAME ➝ 2/22. Afternoon.

WARNINGS ➝ Mentions of abuse. Mentions of violence. Mentions of SIDS.

NOTES ➝ Len goes to Vee’s house to be with her sister during a hard time, but has to explain the bruise on her face.

VALENCIA

It wasn't a great time of year for her sister. Not that it was a walk in the park for her, the whole time surrounding this week was always hard for Len as well, but she knew it was infinitely worse for Vee, and she always tried her best to be there for her sister, to just be positive when she should for her. Which meant not wanting to tell her about the other night, but not telling her would also mean avoiding her, since the evidence was literally written on her face. Len let herself into the other girl's apartment, looking around for the other girl, and then bracing herself when she finally found her. "Hi," She said softly, not sure of what she should even say to her. She didn't want to make this about her, but she knew Vee would want to know what had happened.

VIENNA

Vienna really wasn’t one for moping, at least not for a good majority of the year. She’d always been a pretty positive person, it was just unfortunate — incredibly unfortunate — that some pretty terrible things had happened to her, and while she would like to say she was happy one hundred percent of the time, that really wasn’t the case. Just like she did every year, she’d taken off work the whole week, with her bosses completely understanding of the fact, and had taken up residence on her couch, where she planned to stay for the foreseeable. Sweats, an old tank, scraped back hair and an old blanket were her items of choice, and Vee watched in disgust as Abducted In Plain Sight played out on the television screen in front of her, not even bothering to look up when she heard the door opening. Her sister’s presence in the living room of course finally caught her attention, though, and the moment she laid eyes on her, her jaw dropped in horror. “What the fuck?” She questioned, sitting upright. It was always instinct, no matter how she was feeling in herself, for her to protect her siblings, but especially Len; she was the baby, after all. Vee hopped up from the couch, making her way over to the younger girl and gently taking her chin between her thumb and pointer to get a better look at her face. “Len, what happened? Are you okay?”

VALENCIA

Len sighed as Vee got out of her seat and came towards her. She allowed her to look at the bruise on her face and then pulled away gently, nodding her head. "I'm fine, honestly. I really am." She assured her, and then bit her lip, but released it right away when she felt a sting from where it was split. "I was out the other night and I ran into Josh, apparently he's out of jail." She frowned and then shrugged a shoulder, "I guess he's still bitter about me not bailing him out." She shrugged. "I would have told you sooner, but I just didn't want you to be worried with everything going on right now. But I went to Clark's afterwards, and he had the cops out looking for him and they picked him up, so there's really nothing to worry about." She tried to reassure her sister, though she didn't really know what that would do. She had a feeling it really wasn't a solution to the problem, but at least neither of them had to worry about it at the moment, and the last thing she wanted was for Vee to be worrying about it.

VIENNA

Her sister’s ex should’ve probably been the first person to spring to mind when she’d seen the state of her face, but for some reason, he hadn’t. Vee had been more concerned with making sure Len was okay than with pointing the blame at anybody, but she felt her entire body fill with rage as the younger girl explained. “So, he did this to you? He put his hands on you?” She asked, brows raising, though not in a surprised way. It was kind of accusatory, toward Josh not her sister. Finally releasing Len’s chin, Vee shook her head, settling her hands on the younger girl’s arms. “How are you going to tell me your ex boyfriend did this to you, and then tell me it’s nothing to worry about? What actually happened? I want the whole story.”

VALENCIA

Len let her sister speak, not wanting to cause drama by telling her to back off, she knew she had the right to be concerned. "There's nothing to worry about because he got arrested the same night, what's he going to do from jail?" She asked, shrugging a shoulder, "I was just out with some friends and I saw him at the bar where we were drinking. As soon as I saw him, I left, I didn't think he saw me, so I figured I could just slip out and avoid the drama of it all. But I guess he saw me and he followed me out. He was yelling about how I never bailed him out and all this shit." She shrugged again, Len moved to the couch, sitting herself down now, "He says I owe him the money, and he was just trying to scare me. But I'm really fine, it's okay." She said, hoping her sister would believe her.

VIENNA

“No, you’re not understanding me here,” Vee shook her head, voice a little irritated. She wasn’t mad at her sister, she was mad at the situation. And maybe a little annoyed that Len seemed to be acting like it was no big deal. “I’m glad he was arrested. I’m worried because he actually did this to you. Nobody should ever feel like they have any right to put their hands on you, Valencia.” She spoke in a stern tone, looking her sister in the eye. Watching the younger girl for a moment, Vee sighed as she followed her over to the couch, plopping back down where she’d previously been sitting before her sister’s arrival. “Did you tell the police all of this? That he did it because he thinks you owe him money?” The idea made her angry. “How much does he think you owe him? We’re going to give it to him, and not because you owe him anything, but because I don’t want this happening again.”

VALENCIA

Len's nostrils flared at her sister's words, not because she was angry with her, but the because she was angry with the very idea of paying Josh anything. "I told Clark about it." She said, deciding that that meant yes, but she just shook her head as the girl continued. "I'm not paying him anything, Vee. He thinks I owe him $30,000. Fifteen for the bail and the other fifteen in interest. Do you have an extra thirty grand sitting around? Because I don't, and even if I did, I still wouldn't pay him anything. What's to stop him from coming back and saying oooh actually it was $60,000. He doesn't think I'll actually pay him, he just thinks he can freak me out, or get me to do something for him, and I'm not doing it. I'm not playing that game. I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but trust me, paying him isn't going to do a thing."

VIENNA

The last thing Vienna wanted to do here was show any hostility towards her sister, but she’d always been very protective of her, she was never just going to sit around and accept something like this. “That’s not what I asked.” She was glad that Len had Clark, even more so knowing what his job was, but that wasn’t the same as her divulging everything to the police and actually pressing charges, right? She sighed as she listened to the other girl, the large figure knocking back any plans she may have had to pay off the non-debt herself. “Alright, no, I don’t have that,” she grumbled, pulling her feet up onto the couch and resting her chin on her knees. She wrapped her arms around her legs, looking over at her sister. “I don’t like any of this, Len. We should get a restraining order, at the very least.”

VALENCIA

Len ignored the point that it wasn't what she'd asked, and instead just leaned back against the couch, listening to her sister's concerns. "Okay, there's something else," She said softly, biting her lip as she looked back at her sister. "When it all happened, he started looking through my purse for cash, and I think he saw my license, so I think he knows where my apartment is, that's the part that scares me more than anything. I don't want him to know where I live," she sighed and then shrugged a shoulder, "But that's also why I don't want a restraining order, because if I get one, then he'll definitely have my address, because he has to know where he's not allowed to go, and I just don't know that I'm comfortable with a piece of paper being what's supposed to protect me."

VIENNA

Her little sister was sitting beside her with a bruised face and a split lip, and Vee really believed that that was everything. Even that was too much. So for Len to continue, for her to say there was more, it had Vee’s heart sinking. “Ay dios mío,” she muttered under her breath, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Okay, well, I don’t really want you being at your apartment then, at least not alone.” Vee knew her sister, she knew what an independent person she was, but she wasn’t about to just sit around and let her be in any kind of danger. “You can come and stay with me. Or if there’s someone else you’d rather stay with, then okay, that’s also fine. But I don’t want you at your apartment anymore, Len. I realize I'm not Mom, I can't tell you what to do, but I'm asking you to please not stay there anymore.”

VALENCIA

Len out a small laugh at her words, not because anything she was saying was a joke, she knew that really it was good advice, "You say that like I'd listen to Mom more than I would listen to you," She grinned, hoping to lighten the mood just a bit and then sighed. "I don't want to leave my apartment." She said firmly and then shrugged, "It's my home, it's where I feel safe, and I don't want to give that up. I don't want him to take that away from me, he doesn't get to win like that." She said, and then looked around, "Maybe I'll have someone come stay with me for a while, will that help?" She asked, raising an eyebrow, "Not you, because if anything happened to you because of me I would never forgive myself, but I'll ask someone. If I can't find anyone, then I'll come stay here. Okay?"

VIENNA

Although she didn’t feel very much like smiling, considering firstly what week it was, and secondly that she was still trying to process what had happened to her sister, Vee couldn’t help the small laugh her sister pulled from her, eyes rolling playfully. Her serious face returned as she listened to what the other girl had to say, though, and Vee sighed, but she got it. “Fine. As long as someone stays with you,” she agreed, glancing over at the younger girl. “But until you find someone, will you please stay here? Even if it’s just tonight, or the next couple days or so. I’m not going to be comfortable if I know you’re in your apartment alone.”

VALENCIA

Len nodded at her sister, a small smile forming on her own face as she leaned over to pull her into a hug. “I already put a bag with some clothes for tomorrow in my car, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere but here tonight.” She said softly, and that was partly because she didn’t want her sister to be alone, but it was also because she needed her sister. They needed each other right now, they always did, but especially this time of the year. This situation just added to it, and while she didn’t love that this would make two nights that she’d been out of her apartment since this had happened, she knew it was necessary.

#elliemu #valencia ftf: 011 #valencia ftf: vienna #valencia ftf: all #valencia: vienna

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glofigs · 7 years ago

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The Royals Chapter 2

The next afternoon, Knight tryouts have begun. The first gent up,

“And you are...” King William asks.

“Julian Flowers my lord.” The gentleman answers.

“and Julian, what makes you so worthy to be a knight?” The King questions him.

“Well, sire. I am loyal, and protective. I am known to be quite tenacious.” Julian replies.

“I see. Too fat! Next!!” King William shouts.

“And what is your name?” The King asks.

“Christopher Fezziwig my lord.” Christopher answers.

“And what makes you perfect Knight material?” King William questions him.

“I can kick major ass, no one gets to you without going through me. You wouldn't find a better man for the job.” Christopher explains.

“You sound perfect! You're hired! Next one!” King William declares.

“Who are you then?” The King says to the next terrified guy.

“Barnaby Turner your majesty.” The man answers and bows to his lordship.

“Barnaby, tell me, what make you fit to be one of my Knights?” King William demands.

“Well my lord, I am very lazy. I never feel like doing anything. I am tired all the time, and just looking at your wife makes me randy.” Barnaby answers.

“Nope, definitely not! Next!” The King barks.

“Whose next! You sir, what's your name?”

“Clark Evans sire. I think I would make a good knight because I am loyal, noble, I can wield quite the sword my lord and I know when to follow orders of my king and not ask any questions.” The man finishes.

“You are wonderful! Welcome to the Knights Clark, or should I say Sir Clark.” King William pronounces. “Two more, come come, who is the next one, keep them coming.” The King adds.

“Adam Morgan your majesty. I am not even sure why I am even here to begin with. My mother made me come sir. I wanted to stay home and sleep all day.” The boy answers.

“Go on home then. You're dismissed. Wasting my bloody time! I am getting tiresome, one more please. Who you then young man?”

“Who I am doesn't matter sire. What does matter is I will be your best knight. I am cunning, intelligent, ruthless, and you wouldn't find a harder worker. I will do anything in my power to protect my king.” Then the young man bows.

“Very nice answers there boy. I am impressed. But I can't allow you to join if I don't know your name.” Then the boy does the most surprising thing, he removes his hat and long flowing blonde hair comes down and it isn't a boy at all but a girl!

“Elris Your Highness, at your service and disposal” She bows.

“Well, I must say! I was not expecting this! Regardless, Welcome to the Realm of Knights.” The King joyfully exclaims.

“Thank you your majesty.” Elris bows again.

“No no need for that. Training starts tomorrow morning.” And with that, the King gets off his throne and exits.

In the next room, Queen Phoebe is sewing in the corner, while Prince Edmund is happily playing with his wooden sword, when he stops, turns to his mother and says,

“Mummy, Should I be worried about Uncle Fieryo?” Frozen in her spot, but not wanting to worry the boy she says,

“Your uncle likes to over exaggerate a bit. For the time being, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Ok, Mum.” Prince Edmund replies. Feeling pleased with herself, Queen Phoebe let out a sign of relief. Then so Edmund won't ask anymore questions, she says,

“Why don't you go get your History book and we will work on your History lessons.”

“Moooom! Ok fine,” and he go gets his books. Leaving Queen Phoebe pleased with how she handled that.

That night, Queen Phoebe is just about to get ready to go to bed when she sees a red rose with a note attached laying on her bed. The note read “You will be mine. love always, F.” Creeped out, She shivers and throws the note and rose away.

Meanwhile, in Fiyero's chambers, After he gets done pleasuring himself with images of Queen Phoebe, he washes his hands and decides, it is time to plot his revenge on his brother.

So, he called his sidekick, Boq.

“Boq, if you were extracted revenge on your king brother and you wanted to take everything he loved away from him, how would you do that?” Fieryo asks his companion.

“It depends sir, If the king loved just his money, you could have him framed and then kicked out of his seat so he's poor.” Boq answers.

“Nah, I am not feeling it, What else you got?” Fieryo responds.

“We can make The King look like a Tyrant, so that the people and his wife turn on him and it makes you look like the hero?”

“Clever, but it would never work. The Queen is in love unfortunately, she will stand by her man, no matter what.” Fieryo replies.

“Well, sir. If I were you, I would try and ruin the life of the Prince and then when the moment is right, Kill him.” Boq answers.

“Brilliant my boy! And what about this, we kill the Queen too, because if I can't have her, then no one can! Even in death.” Fieryo adds on.

“Isn't that a little unnecessary sir?” Boq tries to reason.

“Nonsense!” Fieryo dismisses.

“But sir..” Boq starts.

“Not now Boq, my wheels are turning.” Then Fieryo pushes Boq away and goes back into his bedroom.

In the King and Queen's bedroom, Queen Phoebe is telling her husband about the rose and note that she found on their bed from Fieryo.

“That bastard!! I am going to murder him! No one tries it on with my wife!” King Williams shouts.

“Calm down my love. Nothing has happened yet. And I swear, I have never ever encouraged him in any way. You are the one I am in love with. You are the only one for me. But oh William, I am so worried. His obsession with me is getting worse. He is a dangerous man. Who knows what he will do next?” Queen Phoebe says worryingly. King William embraces his wife and says,

“There is no need to panic my dear. I am here and I am not gonna let anything happen to you or the kids. All of you, are my world. Nothing bad will happen to you as long as I am King.”

“Oh thank you my love. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Queen Phoebe says.

“Nor I my darling.” King William answers, then he lifts her chin up and kisses her.

“Now, show me what your brother is missing out on.” Queen Phoebe says seductively,whispering in his ear. Without much convincing, the King unbuttons her nightgown, and throws her on the bed. He then climbs on top of her and starts to kiss her neck. Nuzzling it, she throws her head back. He then flips her over and fucks her from behind. She begs him to go harder, taunting him along the way.

“Rule me! Like you rule your kingdom! Better than your brother ever could! Conquer me! Conquer me with your big sword”

Until he can't take it anymore and says,

“As you wish!” and flips her back on her back and makes love to her gently. This cat and mouse game between the two royals goes on all night, until the sun comes up and worn out, they cuddle in each others arms for as long as possible.

End of Chapter 2.

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travllingbunny · 6 years ago

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The 100 rewatch: 3x01/3x02 – Wanheda Part One and Two

My rewatch will have to be sped up so I could finish it before the season 6 premiere. I’ve seen up to 3x08, but from now on I have to watch more than one episode a day. I hope to be able to finish season 3 by the end of this week. Which means I’ll have to try to make my next posts shorter than this one, which I’m pretty sure is my longest rewatch review so far. Maybe I could try covering several episodes in one post to try not to repeat myself in the following reviews?

Season 3 is definitely my least favorite season of The 100, and so far, having rewatched half a season, I haven’t changed my mind on its quality. But, except for one instance of really lazy writing (which will, sadly, turn out to be something the writers like to do, since they did the same but in an even worse way in season 5), this two-parter was a solid opening to the season, which, unfortunately, started going downhill right after it.

Also, I only realized this on rewatch…. Clarke is Rapunzel?! Or anti-Rapunzel.

*These rewatch posts have spoilers for everything up to the end of season 5, and I may also mention stuff from the season 6 trailer. No spoilers for 6x01, and please don’t mention any if you reply or reblog with comments, I’m trying to avoid them (good luck to me on that).

3x01 Wanheda, Part One

Timeline: This is one of few episode reviews where it makes sense to start with this, because it’s the show’s first time-jump – it starts almost 3 months after the season 2 finale, or specifically 86 days,. In most other shows, this wouldn’t be considered a time jump, but most of The 100 episodes take place just a day or a few hours later (which was the case with the time that passed between the season 1 finale and the season 2 premiere), sometimes just a few minutes later (season 3 finale/season 4 premiere). It’s even notable and relatively rare when there is a week, or just two days between episodes. Although this is obviously nothing compared to the time jump in the season 4 finale (and, to an extent, season 5 finale – which was technically much bigger,, but only really counted for three characters), this time jump is still twice as long as the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, which lasted less than a month and a half.

The starting sequence is great, with Murphy with long shaggy hair and a beard, in a state of desperation after being locked up in the bunker for 86 days, to the point that he almost decides to shoot himself in the head. Similar to how Clarke almost shot herself in the head in the flashbacks in 5x01. Even the greatest of survivors come to the point when it’s just too much for a human being to bear. Clarke reached that point after a month of being not just all alone on a desert, radiation soaked planet, but likely to be all alone for at least 5 years, and even more likely to die of hunger, thirst or exposure. Murphy took 3 months, but was in situation where he didn’t lack food or drink or comfort – but isolation, without any human contact or entertainment, other than videos of a guy committing suicide because he felt responsible of the end of the world, has to be unbearable.

Introduction of Becca In one of the videos is good as we get more crucial info practically at the beginning of the season (and at the same time, not so good, because I can’t stand Becca and I’m really not fond of the entire storyline about the chip/Flame/Commanders).

Scenes in the mansion with Jaha and ALIE are really creepy, as we see just how much Jaha has become removed from reality and immersed in the City of Light. When Jaha explains the concept of COL, the prospect of getting rid of pain, hate and envy, Murphy has maybe his best ever line, and pretty much his defining quote: “Pain, hate, envy… those are the ABCs of me. Take that and there’s nothing left.”

Getting thrown right into Camp Jaha, now called Arkadia, after 3 months, to see how much everyone’s lives have changed, works well for the most part (with one exception – see below). Jasper’s new look and attitude are shocking, but make sense. I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, but I think Jasper’s storyline was one of the best things in season 3 and even season 4, and I think it’s great that the show, for once, didn’t shy away from showing the consequences of emotional trauma (these people are teenagers who have been through terrible things in an extremely short time, it’s hard to believe everyone would soldier on and no one would break), and that they didn’t try to make a depressed person be more “likable” by being nice, even if it resulted in so many fans calling Jasper “annoying” and now showing any understanding for his mental health issues just because he wasn’t depressed in a nicer, more palatable way.

Raven’s story in seasons 3-4, which is also pretty good, also gets set up with a conversation with Abby about her pain, where Raven refuses an operation and they end up saying bad things to each other, as those two sometimes do. Raven calls out Abby on trying to hide from her own pain, too (over losing Clarke), which is a major theme this season. She also tells her she’s bad as both doctor and Chancellor, and much as I used to love Abby in S1 (and still like her) I’m afraid that this is least half-true since she’s sucked at politics most of season 2and 3. As a doctor, she’s good at healing people, but her bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired.

The show gets rid of the Raven/Wick romance plot (which had to be jettisoned due to Steve Talley being a terrible person IRL and tweeting racist “jokes”) in the best way it could, by referring to it in one line (according to Abby, Raven pushed Wick away) and never having him appear again.

They used “Add It Up” by Violent Femmes! And even Shawn Mendes’ cover worked well – his was a sad and plaintive ballad, as a contrast to the original, which is an energetic rock song. (I had no idea who Mendes was when I first watched this, but his cameo didn’t feel weird or out of place).

A huge plus because Emori makes a return. Also, Otan is introduced, who actually is her brother (it’s not just a classic thief/swindler thing where partners in crime are like “I’m an innocent damsel in distress and this dude is totally my brother…” thing).

There are several character introductions of characters that are varying degrees of interesting or not so interesting. Roan’s is especially intriguing right from the start, and there’s also Niylah, Becca and Gideon, and Gina. Speaking of…

My biggest problem with this episode is how weird and jarring it always felt that we just get introduced to Bellamy’s new girlfriend, a random character we’ve never met before and who doesn’t get developed at all. We know she’s nice and really into him, and he likes her fine enough, but there’s very little about their relationship that goes beyond very basic relationship-establishing stuff. This was all the more jarring because Bellamy had never previously been shown to have an actual girlfriend (rather than friends with benefits/fu*k buddies, which he had quite a few in season 1), and by what we know of his backstory and what we was like in season 1, I had always assumed he had never had a serious relationship or even a serious friendship, because he could never allow himself to trust people on the Ark, and he was too focused on protecting Octavia and keeping that huge secret. So for him to be a real relationship was a new development that I would have loved to actually see. And in general, how weird is it that the show seems to treat the love life of a major character – second protagonist as an afterthought, to the point that his relationships get developed completely off-screen and just get a few perfunctory scenes to establish “there was a time jump, it happened, this is a thing now, that’s all you need to know” (which was all the more jarring when Gina then got fridged just 3 episodes into the season). Hey, and just how weird would it be if the show did this TWICE? I have an idea why this happens – because neither of his relationships with Gina nor with Echo was ever treated by the show, as genuinely important or something we need to be invested in, but If I ever believed that Clarke and Bellamy were really totally platonic BFFs (because one major platonic relationship is not enough for Bellamy, who is one of the very few characters on the show who actually has a sibling, and his relationship with Octavia is also a major one the show focuses a lot..) and that the show wasn’t doing something else, I’d be really puzzled by such weird narrative choices.

·Raven teases Bellamy that Gina is “too good” for him. That may be because she is aware that he was “never as devoted to Gina” (compared to Clarke), as she taunts him as ALIE!Raven in 3x11.

Gina gives Bellamy Iliad as a gift, because his mother used to read it to him… an epic whose main theme is a warrior hero’s rage and all the mess it causes?

The Ice Nation aka Azgeda, after being referenced before, finally gets introduced (though Echo will get retconed revealed to be one of them), and I have very mixed feelings about this, because the oversimplified way the show tried to suddenly establish “Trikru=good Grounders, Azgeda=bad Grounders” in season 3 was kind of grating.

·Everyone is still bad at dealing with people with PTSD and mental health issues in general – as seen in the fact that they made the mistake to bring Jasper with them on a mission. This time, Bellamy had an inkling it was not a good idea, but Monty thought it would do Jasper good… and again, it didn’t end well.

Indra has changed her views a lot and is now the liaison between Trikru and the Arkers and o very friendly terms with Kane.

The relationship between Trikru and Arkadia is at this point kind of a mixed bag – they have a truce and cooperate, but there’s a problem of limited trade routes and ability for Arkers to get food, the Grounders are not happy with the prospect of them using Mount Weather, and Lexa has issued a kill order on Lincoln (which is why he has had to stay in Arkadia even if he didn’t want to – though it seems he does want to) just because he went back to help Arkers against Mount Weather (any disobedience of Commander’s orders, no matter how justified, is apparently punishable by death).

Something that’s annoying, but expected and in character: Octavia complaining about Lincoln wearing an Arkadia uniform and trying to integrate into the Arkadia society. It’s like she was so happy to be rebellious and have a cool Grouder boyfriend, and now she’s disappointed. She tells him he will never be one of them (oh, the irony of this coming from Octavia, who says “I’m a Grounder” every second episode – which I don’t get, does she think being a Grounder is a lifestyle you can choose?) and even lectures him about the culture he grew up in: “At least you still speak our language” (meaning Grounder speech). LMAO

Octavia suggests they go off on their own and find Luna and her people – one of the many, many references to Luna going all the way back to season 1. No character has been set up so much long before they appeared.

It takes quite a long time for Clarke to actually appear in the episode, right after the revelation that she’s the titular Wanheda everyone is looking for.

About the nickname itself: Clarke herself hates it, of course (though she will kind of ‘reclaim’ it in 5x12) – because she feels deeply guilty and hates herself, but I’m sure that, for Grounders, “Commander of Death” an expression of awe and fear, not any kind of judgment, which wouldn’t make sense – we’ve seen multiple times that Grounders take the “kill them all If we can’t kill their leader” approach to their enemies, so I can’t see them being bothered by her killing all the Mountain Men. It’s the fact that she was able to destroy their old, powerful enemy that gives her a mythical aura. If you can kill the Mountain Men, you must be able to command death itself. They would also assign it all to Clarke, because, for starters, they weren’t there to know about Bellamy’s or Monty’s role, and secondly, Grounders tend to give all credit or blame to the leader, and they perceived Clarke as the sole leader of Skaikru during season 2.

This mythical status, however, merely makes Clarke a symbol and prize, due to the belief that killing someone means taking their power. (Which should also mean that she took the enormous power of Mount Weather in the eyes of the Grounders?) Does Queen Nia actually believe that she would literally take Clarke’s power if she killed her? I don’t know, but she probably just knows that people would perceive her as more powerful if she managed to do it.

Indra also explains that another reason the Ice Nation feels bold enough to make another move against Lexa/Trikru is that Clarke made Lexa look weak – which makes perfect sense, of course that’s what people would think after Lexa walked away from the battle and Clarke went in and killed the Mountain Men.

Seeing Clarke’s new look and persona was weird as hell the first time, but I don’t know how to feel about it as a plot point. I like it when characters’ traumas are not ignored, and it makes sense that, in her state, she wants to be anonymous and leave all she was behind. But Clarke as a great hunter after 3 months, making a living out of killing large animals? That’s a bit hard to believe. It’s not the first time the show is giving her unrealistic or, rapidly learned skills (overpowering an experienced warrior like Anya in a fight, apparently learning to ride a horse off-screen in a day, being such a good shooter to kill the MW sniper through Lincoln’s shoulder – after the short training she got from Bellamy in S1..) I complain about that with Octavia, so I should about Clarke, too (though it bothers me a lot more with Octavia since her being a great warrior – with her few months of training - is such a big part of her arc, while these skills are never supposed to be Clarke’s main strengths and don’t get much focus. But I like that she tells the panther “Your fight is over” while killing it.

Niylah, looking at Clarke’s back: “No kill marks”. Clarke: “My back is not big enough.”

Clarke sees Niylah has a wristband from one of the Delinquents, which is going to be a plot point in 3x11.

It’s nice to see someone expressing gratitude to Clarke for defeating the Mountain Men – Niylah says she appreciates it because her mother was a victim taken by Mount Weather. It would make sense if many more Grounders actually felt like that, but we don’t ever see many ordinary Grounders say anything about it. Usually it’s just Grounder leaders trying to make Clarke feel guilty over Mount Weather to manipulate her or excuse their own actions.

Clarke’s one night stand with Niylah is the first f/f sex scene in the show. It’s also, as far as we know, only the second time Clarke has had sex with anyone (the first one was way back in 1x04). At this point, Clarke can only bear to have physical intimacy, or any kind of human contact, if it’s not with anyone she has any stronger feelings for (and asks Niylah to stop talking before initiating sex, because she doesn’t want to risk any real intimacy). But at least Niylah is really nice and helpful, doesn’t cause drama and treats her better than any of her romantic partners have.

The first time I watched this, I found it funny that Clarke’s f*ck buddy got more screentime and development than Bellamy’s supposedly serious girlfriend. But I didn’t know that the latter would die in two episodes, while the former will remain on the show into season 6 and get to have a role beyond that of Clarke’s occasional friend with benefit.

This turned out to be much longer than I wanted it to, but that’s because this episode juggles so many storylines and characters (and a bit of nice blatant fanservice, too – like the scene of Bellamy and Lincoln sparring shirtless, or a celebrity cameo).

But how about the one plot point that was completely ignored in this episode and the rest of season 3 (and 4, and 5, and we can assume will be ignored forever)? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE REAPERS?? Did they get cured, as the plan was originally? Abby was supposed to cure them when the alliance was still on. Did they get killed – and how, and by whom? Were they still roaming around in season 3 and 4? Why is there not a single word about any of that after season 2? Indra even recognized one of the Reapers in 2x15, it was obviously someone close to her, maybe a family member, maybe her husband/Gaia’s father? The show dropped that plot like a hot potato as soon as season 2 finished.

Body count:

3 Ice Nation scouts killed during the confrontation (2 shot by Raven and Miller, one shot by Bellamy in the arm and then killed by Octavia)

Rating: 7/10

3x02 Wanheda, Part Two

This episode benefits from focusing on just a few storylines and characters and not featuring any of the poorer storylines.

Most of it is an exciting and intense action-adventure episode that revolves around Roan kidnapping Clarke ad trying to bring her to Lexa, as it turns out in the twist ending (after both Clarke and first time audience thought he was taking her to the Ice Nation Queen Nia), while a group from Arkadia including Bellamy, Kane and Monty are trying to rescue her.

More new characters are introduced, including one with a huge role this season: our group (including Bellamy, Monty, Kane and Indra) has a surprise encounter with a group of survivors from the Farm Station, including Charles Pike and Monty’s mother Hannah. It was a weird meeting as it started as an ambush, before they recognized each other. Who did Pike’s group think they were ambushing and capturing? Some Grounders who stole clothes and weapons from dead Arkers? It doesn’t seem they were aware that there were any other survivors from the Ark, or else, they’d have tried to reunite with them. But it also can be seen as a sign that their terrible experiences on the ground and almost 4 months spent in the woods as guerrilla fighters have made them inclined to see enemies everywhere and mistake friends or allies for enemies.

We get the immediate “trouble ahead” warning moments when Pike calls his people “Grounder killers, all!” and they cheer, and our group looks uncomfortable because Indra is there, and then when Pike looks at Indra with animosity as soon as he hears she’s a Grounder and expresses distrust when hearing that they’re allies. But really, there’s nothing surprising about his attitude, at all, and I’ll never understand fans who are like “but why is Pike such a dick”? The show told you why, right from the start. Most of our protagonists had a similar attitude to Grounders in season 1 and early season 2, when their experiences with people on the ground consisted mostly of those people attacking them and trying to kill them. And Indra (just like many other Grounders) had the exact same attitude towards Sky people in early-to-mid season 2, as Pike has to Grounders now – when we first met her, she was constantly asking for all Sky people to be killed and trying to dissuade Lexa from an alliance, especially after Finn killed 18 unarmed people, mostly civilians, in a Grounder village. But these characters all got to have different kinds of interactions with each other and have character development since. Well, Pike and the rest of the Farm Station people have had only terrible experiences – being attacked by the people on the ground right after they landed, seeing over a hundred of their people killed in front of them, including 15 children, and they’ve spent all the time since fighting in the woods, with zero positive interactions with any Grounders. It’s really not surprising that they’re the ones with most extreme views.

Kane, however, tries to convince them that it’s all Ice Nation, they’re the bad ones, Trikru are their allies. When Pike asks for details about how that alliance happened, Bellamy gave him the shortest and nicest-sounding possible version: “We had a common enemy” – “What happened?” “We won”. Bellamy obviously doesn’t want to talk about any of it, since he’s tormented over Mount Weather even though he may not be showing it the way Clarke does. But we see that Monty later told Pike about everything that has happened, though we only see the end of that story, how they got out of Mount Weather. We can assume, however, that he did tell him all including Lexa’s betrayal, because Pike later references both that and Finn’s death in 3x08. Somehow I don’t think that hearing “well, Trikru tried to kill the kids in our camp, so we burned 300 of their warriors, then we made an alliance with them to fight the people from Mount Weather who were trying to kill us all, but they betrayed us and left us to die and we had to save ourselves on our own” helped change Pike’s opinion on the Grounders in general.

Having Zach McGowan on the show is always a good thing, and his screen presence helps make Roan an intriguing character. At this point he’s a mysterious kidnapper with a backstory about his banishment from Ice Nation which I really wanted to learn BUT THAT WE NEVER LEARNED (what the hell was up with that?) and (twist!) we learn in the last scene that he’s the Prince of Azgeda. Clarke and Roan had quite an interesting dynamic throughout the show – thank god for once that the show didn’t try to do an “Enemies to lovers” storyline (though I bet that’s just because the show already had two popular Clarke ships to juggle) but rather “Enemies to allies who are not exactly friends, definitely not romantic at all, who kind of bond and respect each other but are constantly trying to politically manipulate each other”.

Bellamy wanting to immediately run to save Clarke, the moment he saw that she had been kidnapped, and then dressing himself as an Azgeda warrior and going into enemy territory to rescue her, is a far cry from his behavior in 1x12 when he was able to be calm and rational about Clarke (and Finn and Monty) being kidnapped and presumed dead. It shows how much his feelings for her had become stronger since. In season 1, only the concern for his sister’s safety could make him have such a reaction. But he typically doesn’t make his best decision when he lets his emotions completely rule him and acts that impulsively, and in this case, his unsuccessful rescue attempt only made things worse, as it alerted Roan he was being followed, and made Clarke stop fighting and let Roan take her to his destination.

But it’s not just Bellamy who would “do anything for her, to protect her”, Clarke is equally determined to protect him at any cost, and we’ve seen evidence of that many times, including this time – when she begs Roan to spare Bellamy’s life and promises to do anything and stop fighting if he does. At the time, she believed Roan was taking her to Queen Nia to be executed, so she was basically ready to offer her life for his.

When I first saw that scene, I thought “Oh wow, show, you are really doing this? This must be the most romantically-coded scene in anything ever.” Before even starting to binge the show, I was always spoiled on the fact that Clarke and Bellamy are not a romantic couple to date and that people debate whether they’re just friends or not, and I always knew people shipped them, but that didn’t mean much since fans will ship anything (Broadchurch fans even ship the leads from that show, and they are genuinely nothing but platonic partners). So one of the bigger surprises of my initial binge was that the show is so blatant about this romantic subtext (which is more like text, a lot of the time), and has been since season 1, but they were relatively subtle with it at first and then more and more obvious as seasons went by. Maybe it jumps at you more when you’re binging it. In any case, this scene – the soft music, Bellamy touching Clarke’s hair, the way they look at each other after meeting for the first time after 3 months, Clarke begging for his life – it all looked like it was straight from some epic medieval-themed romance. I later heard people compare it to Tangled, but I’ve never seen that movie (it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen any Disney cartoons). But I’ve recently happened upon gifsets that compare that scene to a scene from Tangled:

` Woah, they really did this. They modelled that scene after the scene where Rapunzel’s love interest tries to rescue her. And it’s not the last time they keep doing that and have used every goddamn romantic trope for the Bellamy/Clarke relationship. Is Jason Rothenberg for real? How do you do stuff like this, over and over, and then go in interviews: “Weeell, it’s Rorschah test, you can see this or you can see that, I mean maybe, but maybe they are just best buddies, ya know?” LMAO

Knowing about the Tangled reference suddenly makes me realize, they’re kind of doing this whole story as Rapunzel in reverse. We have our golden haired heroine who’s a target for her supposed special powers, and. Clarke finds herself as a literal Princess in the Tower at the end of this episode, and remains that for half of season 3. But while Rapunzel was trapped in the tower to begin with and wanted to escape and be free to see the world, Clarke was running away from the world, then got kidnapped and brought to the tower, and then decided to stay there.

And what a freaking huge tower it is – I didn’t know the full significance of it (that it’s the former Polaris space station) when that reveal was the last moment of the episode. This thing must have been a great strategic asset, you’d have seen any army approaching from miles away.

I love the last scene, which is the first meeting Clarke and Lexa after season 2, because Clarke’s rage – spitting into Lexa’s face and yelling that she’s going to kill her, while she’s dragged away – is such a fitting and relatable reaction to the betrayal at Mount Weather, and, maybe even more, to the way Lexa starts talking to her without apologizing or even mentioning their history, being all business instead and talking about the current political situation and how Clarke can help her in that department. I didn’t even notice this before, but while Clarke just glares at Lexa at first and stays silent, it was when Lexa said “I need you” that Clarke spat in her face and went ballistic. It’s interesting to compare that to 3x05, when Bellamy had a bad reaction to Clarke telling him “I need you” in a similar context. It’s not the same thing, of course, because Clarke had not betrayed Bellamy (even if he may have kind of felt otherwise), but it’s a similar “I’ll just ignore our history – there’s nothing personal and painful to talk about here, la la la – let’s instead just talk about how you can help me stop the war” approach.

I now love that scene even more because it’s the last time Clarke shows anger for the next two seasons. Or rather, she shows the same anger early on in the next episode in her conversation with Lexa and then when she was planning to kill her before changing her mind, but from that point on, there’s a shift in Clarke’s characterization that I’ve never liked. She was always smart, pragmatic, caring, vulnerable and good at using her words to convince people, but she also used to be vibrant, edgy, held grudges before finding a way to forgive people, and could be very impulsive. But in season 3, after the first couple of episodes, she kind of became a lot mellower and blander, and remained that way throughout season 3 and in season 4 (even though there’s otherwise a lot I like about her arc in season 4), where she would do ruthless things and feel sad about it and say “Sorry” a lot while other people told her she sucks, she would cry and look sad, but never ever show any anger herself. I really found myself wishing for her to finally show some anger at some point, at anyone, for any reasons, or go off and stop repressing her feelings and scream about her pain, break things, do something. I finally did get some of that – in 5x01 when she screamed at fate for taking everything away from her, and then, boy, did I get what I was wishing for in 5x09 – her slapping Bellamy and her silent but deadly rage/heartbreak at what she perceived as his betrayal, was the first time she had that kind of reaction to a person since her rage at Lexa in 3x02/3x03. (Unpopular opinion: I prefer season 5 Clarke to season 3 Clarke. Sure, season 5 Clarke was a total mess and reached rock bottom in many ways, but she was a more interesting and edgier mess. )

The B storylines were good, too. This is the first time we actually get to see what “the City of Light” looks like and learn about how it works. After Gideon, the big dude with a facial disfigurement, is killed by Emori in self-defense, we see him again in the “City of Light”, where he’s removed his disfigurement and can be a “normal” person rather than a “freak”. In later episodes, we see that Otan has done the same, but only Emori will not change herself physically, because she doesn’t have a problem with her body, just with the way others react to it, making her an outcast over it.

Nice to see Nyko again, one of my favorite minor characters. Unlike so many other people in this show, he’s always both nice and rational. When Abby, Jackson, Lincoln and Octavia took him to Mount Weather to find resources to cure him, and Lincoln was concerned because Grounders could have a problem with Arkers moving into Mount Weather because of their history with the place, Nyko pointed out “Places are not evil, people are.” The whole idea of the Arkers not being allowed to move into Mount Weather is stupid, knowing that the place had all those resources.

The show tried to give us bad vibes about Arkers moving into Mount Weather (which they absolutely had right to – they conquered it, so by the very rules of a warrior culture like the Grounder one, they could lay claim to it) with the talk from Octavia and Lincoln about how Grounders would have a problem with it because of bad memories. But that was just a red herring. Moving into Mount Weather turned out to be bad for a very different reason. We now know that at least the leaders of Ice Nation didn’t give a damn about their bad history with the Mountain Men, since they were working with Emerson.

What the heck was Abby thinking when she took Jasper to Mount Weather? She’s not a psychiatrist (did they even have psychiatrists on the Ark?) but I don’t think taking him back to the place of his greatest trauma is a good way to help his mental health. At least we get a nice scene for the Octavia/Jasper friendship, where she is comforting him while he remembers Maya, looking at her favorite painting, Second Circle of Hell by Dante. (The second circle of hell is for those guilty of lust... Is that why Jasper said it was ironic? Because he and Maya just kissed once and never got the chance to have sex?

Timeline: It seems that Parts One and Two lasted a little less than two days – Part One started during the day, Clarke spent a night with Niylah and immediately left in the morning, and Part Two took place during the following day.

Body count:

Three Ice Nation warriors killed by Roan

A bounty hunter killed by Bellamy to save Niylah

Gideon, killed by Emori– but still “alive” in the City of Light

I don’t know if this counts for this episode, since it actually happened after the Farm Station landed on the ground, so somewhere around the season 1 finale and early season 2, but we only learn it now: about 120-130 people from the Farm station were killed since they landed (there are 63 Farm Station survivors, but Kane said the station initially had three times that number). A lot of them, including 15 children, were killed by the Ice Nation right after they landed, and Monty’s father, who saved four children, was killed when trying to save another one. I assume that some of the Farm Station people died fighting the Ice Nation in the woods, and that they also killed an unknown number of Azgeda people during that time. (Technically, this all happened during the timeline of season 2 and between the seasons.)

Rating: 8.5/10

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murder-popsicle · 3 years ago

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oftomorrow:

Clark suspected her intent as she took aim, but unfortunately it was something that would work every time. He’d drop everything to protect Lois, no matter the consequences. The heat vision cut off abruptly, and he was dashing off before his vision even fully returned to normal. He snatched the bullets from the air only a few feet from Lois, and tossed them to the ground. “Are you alright?”

She nodded weakly. “Clark, she’s getting away–”

Their attacker definitely wasn’t a regular human. In the time it had taken Clark to recover his vision, stop the bullets, and check on Lois, the woman had disappeared into the darkness. Even Clark’s eyes couldn’t make her out amidst the trees. Whoever she was, she’d vanished, and taken knowledge of Clark’s abilities with her…

The first order of business was taking Lois to the hospital. All things considered, it could have been a lot worse – just some bruising and a mild concussion. Next was a hurried trip home to check on the boys, who were thankfully perfectly safe.

Then it was on to figure out just who the hell had attacked them. It had to be connected to the story they were researching. Lois was looking over files on the couch, propped up with a small army of pillows – the closest Clark could get her to actually resting. It had to be connected to the story they were researching, and a bit more digging explained why. A HYDRA connection wasn’t at all what Clark expected, but it made sense. If they still existed, which clearly they did, they would have unimaginable resources and be fiercely determined to protect their secrecy. And something about the blankness of that woman’s expression made Clark think she wasn’t doing all of this willingly…

It was Lois who finally found her identity, while looking into HYDRA’s history. Sergeant Jane Barnes, missing in action in 1945, presumed dead. HYDRA must have found her and done something unthinkable to her, to turn her against her country and to keep her from aging. That was Clark’s hunch, anyway. He couldn’t verify anything until he found her again.

There were a few locations he and Lois suspected of being HYDRA safe houses. A job for Superman… with Lois and the boys under General Lane’s personal protection, Clark suited up and headed for the most likely one first, a remote cabin. He landed lightly in the grass nearby, using his x-ray vision to take a peek inside.

The Winter Soldier didn’t stop running until she was well away from Kent and Lane, deep in the woods. Ideally, she would have contacted her team, but when she tried to activate her radio, she found that it had been damaged in the fight. She would have to make her way to the safe house on foot. Limping slightly from the pain in her knee, glass shards still embedded in her hand, she set off.

«You’re late,» Yuri said when she arrived at the door nearly eight hours later. He was the only member of her team who’d been sent out with her this time; Mr. Pierce had expected this to be an easy mission, so he hadn’t bothered assigning her any backup. Not that backup would have helped, the soldier had realized. But her medic was nearly always sent with her, just in case.

In this case, he was needed. He saw the blood crusted on her hand and the way she was sparing her right knee as she moved, so he brought her inside and sat her down under the light. «Hold still,» he instructed, as he brought out his medical kit.

The Winter Soldier complied, unspeaking, and rested her hand palm-up on the table beneath the light. She didn’t move as he began picking out the broken glass with a pair of tweezers. Once that was done, he wiped the blood away, cleaned the wounds with an alcohol pad, and carefully stitched up the deepest of the gashes.

«What happened?» he asked, once he’d finished with her hand and moved on to splinting her knee. «Are the targets eliminated?»

To his shock, the Winter Soldier shook her head and said, «They got away. I need to report to Mr. Pierce, but my radio is broken. Clark Kent is not a normal human. He can fly, his skin is bulletproof, he has superhuman strength, and he can shoot heat rays out of his eyes. Lois Lane at least seems to have standard human weaknesses, but I couldn’t get past Kent to attack her. I need a revised plan and more powerful weapons.»

If she had been anyone else, Yuri would have assumed that she was lying. But the Winter Soldier never lied. She couldn’t lie, not to HYDRA. It was baked into her programming. If she said Clark Kent had bulletproof skin, then Clark Kent had bulletproof skin, as ludicrous as the idea sounded.

«I’ll report in,» he said. «You sit down and keep off that leg for now.»

The pair were still there the next night when Superman arrived, though they had no idea that their location had been compromised. The Winter Soldier was dozing on the cabin’s rather musty couch, having been ordered not to put any weight on her leg while her fractured kneecap healed. Yuri had spent most of the day radioing back and forth with the higher-ups about the situation, waiting for information on what their next steps should be. Mr. Pierce was leaving them where they were for now while he looked deeper into Clark Kent’s history.

None of them were expecting Superman himself to find them.

#oftomorrow #c: clark kent #c: yuri trifonov #v; to catch them if they fall

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skaihedaofthe100 · 7 years ago

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"Xenos" series

Chapter 1. We're back, bitches!

description: "Xenos" from the Ancient Greek "stranger, foreigner". Xenia Kane and the other 99 delinquents are strangers for everyone who managed to survive on the Earth. Her story has just started. Enjoy

Everything is black but suddenly I open my eyes and I'm in...Wait, what? Where the hell am I? The last thing I remember is punching the guard who tried to drag me out from my "beloved" cell and well, this time I wasn't so happy to leave it. This man scared the shit out of me, I was thinking that the chancellor decided to float me a little bit earlier. Saying "a little bit" I mean REALLY too soon, like guyyys, this is 17 year old girl in front of you who was going to spend nearly one "full of adventures and happiness" year with other young criminals. So I don't feel bad for punching this guard. Mentally. Speaking about my physical state, the things are worse. Everything hurts and it seems like I was electroshocked. There is also some kind of a big bracelet on my wrist which is way too heavy to be an accessory.

After looking around I realize that I'm in a dropship with other delinquents. Suddenly everything is shaking and the boy in the seat in front of me starts to float. A big smile covers my face when I see his. This is Finn. The boy seems to notice me too because he is moving closer to the place where I'm sitting and greets me with a loud "Hi, Commander!". Pfff, wanna know how I got this nickname? Well, the guard I punched earlier today wasn't the first one to be attacked by me. The thing is that the latter was not just a guard but commander Shumway. This is why I got a "warm and comfortable" cell and eventually ended up here, in the dropship. -Listen, Finn, call me by my real name or I will call you a Spacewalker till the end of your life, got it? - Yeah, Nia,- he chuckles, - Anyway, wanna fly around with me? - There would be a firm no. And I don't advise you to do it or you'll eventually get yourself killed today but my plans were to call you Spacewalker for a long time because I'm more than sure you won't stop calling me a Commander, okay?- was my answer

Unfortunately, there were two other guys who decided to follow my friend's actions unbelting themselves and while this trio is flying around carelessly and another delinquents are listening to the Jaha's words (in which I'm not so interested anyway) from the television screen I will tell you a little bit about myself.

So, as Fin has already said, I'm Nia and Xenia is my full name. I have no idea why my parents gave me this name. Speaking about them, my father, Marcus Kane, is the only one left alive. Something has happened to my mom but I'm not in the mood to tell you now. What else? Em, I'm 17, have brown hair and brown eyes...WAIT, you'll here more later if everything will be okay 'cause I have thoughts that the dropship is CRASHING! Oh my god, I don't want to die like this neither I want my friends to do the same.

Remembering careless Finn I start to look around searching for him. Our eyes meet the moment the dropship lands and the boys are thrown on the floor. I'm staying shocked for a few seconds but then I here someone saying "Listen, no machine hum" and it is the signal for me to unbelt myself and run to check if Finn is okay. When I get there I see more familiar faces - Clarke's and... Wells's?? What is he doing here? This day is full of surprises, you know. We've been knowing each other since we were kids and no one in our trio could think that one day we'll be

1) with young criminals 2) ON THIS F****** PLANET EARTH

They both nod to me and I gaze at Finn. Fortunately, he is alive but I can't be sure about the other boys. There is no one around us by the time my friend stands up from the floor and together we try to reach the big doors getting through a large crowd. Oh, now I understand why we're still in the dropship.

There are warm greets and hugs between a girl who is nearly my age and a guy in a guard's uniform. That's kinda cute, actually, but I don't want to stand here forever watching it. -That's Octavia Blake, the girl who has been hiding under the floor for 17 years!- someone from the crowd cries. - If you won't shut the f*** up, you'll be the one hiding under the floor from me searching to beat your ass!- I snap back Some delinquents chuckle but most of them don't find my threat funny, probably because they're well aware that I'm a "looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill you" type of a person. - Y'all better listen to the Commander,- Finn says to the crowd and I look at him expecting to see a sarcastic smile on his face but it turns out that he looks pretty serious. My eyes meet the siblings' after that and they both are grateful. - Let's give them something else, O,- the older one says -Yeah, like what?- Octavia ask surprised and I'd like to know that too -Like being the first person to step on the ground in 100 years

After his words there are Clarke's meaningless corrections that only 97 years have passed and the air could be toxic and blablabla, I can't wait any longer. -Open the doors, we're going to die either inside or outside, - pissed off me tells them and there are actually words of agreement coming from the teenagers.

Finally, I can see the most incredible thing in my 17 years. The Earth, green forest, blue sky, everything like it was on the photos. The difference is that while looking at the pictures I couldn't feel warm sunshine on my face or breath such fresh air! I look at the young girl in front of me and she is already standing on the grass. -We're back, bitches!!! - her words cause everyone to leave the dropship and go explore the place where we've landed. I wanted to enjoy the Earth standing still for a while but was pushed forward by the youngsters and had to move from the way. I spend a few minutes admiring the surroundings and then head towards Clarke who seems upset. When she is a few meters away someone stops me.

-Hey, Commander, wait!- I turn around and see that it was said by Octavia, her brother standing behind her,- I wanted to thank you for your words, you know, in the dropship. That was kinda badass. -Well, you're welcome, I guess,- I answer her don't know why confused,- My name is Xenia by the way, Commander is just an old nickname from which I can't get ri..., - there is no time for me to end 'cause the older Blake interrupts me. - Xenia from Ancient Greek "Xenos" - a "stranger"?-he asks -Forgive him, he is a weirdo, all in this Ancient and Mythology stuff,-O chuckles -Okay, I'm impressed,- I answer not joking,- and you are... -Bellamy,- the guy tells shortly and nothing else. Well, he at least answered. I want to say more but Clarke calls me. She is standing with a map and still looks worried. Suddenly there is a boy in the googles in front of me and the blond saying "Cool a map! Where is the bar in this town, I will buy you a drink!" I don't have time to answer 'cause he is being pushed by Wells. Rude. That's the first joke on the Earth in 97 years we all have to clap this guy. -Don't touch him, he is with us, - we hear threatening words coming from a small group of boys.

My friend starts to explain himself and while he is doing it I reach the boy on the grass to check him. I've seen him back on the ark, he's a good guy and didn't deserve such attitude towards him. -Hey, you OK?- I ask the boy -Yeah, totally, thanks for asking. My name is Jasper and this is my best friend Monty,- he answers me clapping a teen near him on the shoulder - Nice to meet you guys, I'm Nia, - I say and feel amazed of how many people I got to know today. And the day has only started! That's really unusual for me 'cause for all the years I'm resting my ass in the cell I was friends only with Finn and that was enough for me. Of course I talked to the others sometimes and then Clarke joined me but she was in another part of the "jail" so I didn't see her that much. I decide to look around and see that there is a crowd again near us. What the hell is wrong now? Oh, I see, Wells got some problems, nothing new.

-You heard my father's words, finding Mount Weather is our first priority, - he tells all of us. What Mount Weather? Guess I had to listen to the Chancellor's speech. Now I have no idea about what is going on. -Screw your father! Do you think that you're in charge here? You and your little princess?- Octavia cries and I scoff. She is right, partly. -Do you think we care who is in charge? We need those supplies and there is a 20 miles trek to Mount Weather. We have to leave now!- was the blond's answer. Now I'm completely confused because Clarke is right too. -I have a better idea, how about the privileged do all the work for once and go get everything for us by themselves?- Bellamy offers and the crowd cheers. Idiots. I have to end it, now. - This "privileged" don't have to risk their asses to get you food and clothes! Y'all have to thank this two for being the only people down here who care about you!- I snap at young criminals and see that some of them nod in agreement. My eyes meet Bellamy's, he doesn't like that his authority was shaken.

- You heard her, we all need to go,- my dark-skinned friend says -Look at him, the Chancellor of the Earth!-the same guy who protected Jasper laughs. Well, he is not as good as I thought at first. Huge intention to fight him spills in me but Wells already moves to him. I don't want my friend to get hurt so I try to stop the boys. -Guys, you've had your fun, now stop it, we don't have the time for this stupid show! Maybe calling their "serious like all strong grown-up men have" fight "a show" pissed this pale-skinned boy off because he headed towards me with a threatening look in his eyes. Okay, l'll let him try me, he doesn't scare me anyway.

-Why so talkative today, my Commander?- he asks sarcastically. I roll my eyes at the nickname. -I'm starting of thinking of how to make you shut up and not get on my nerves! We're moving closer to each other when suddenly Finn jumps of from the dropship's roof between us.

- Only try to touch her, Murphy, - he snaps. That's nice but I don't need his protection. - Just give him a try, Finn, I didn't waste time in the cell and you know it,- there was no opportunity for me to tell the others how I've been spending my time due to the "best" pick up line I've ever heard in my life from Octavia. -Hey, Spacewalker, rescue me next! But she managed somehow to "clear the air" making some teens to smile and some to go mind their own business including Murphy. And I was thinking about making more friends today! Just great!

-I hope your speech back then meant you're coming with me, Nia,- I hear Clarke's voice -Is Wells staying? That is a really small group of you, I'm coming too, - Finn tells us -And these guys also,- I add, taking Jasper's and Monty's shoulders and dragging them to our party.

-Make it six!- Octavia near me tells too much exited. Well, no one has the right to blame her, I bet she haven't left the Blakes' room at least once for 17 years and now it is a whole forest to explore. The same moment there is Bellamy in front of her saying " you can't go, something will happen to you" stuff which is not so interesting to listen to so I ran after my friends in the woods hearing O's footsteps behind me a little bit later.

#the100 #the100imagine #bellamyblake #bellamy blake #bellamy x reader #bellamy blake x reader #john murphy #john murphy imagine #john murphy x reader #the 100 imagine #the 100

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